Mental health issues

[Anonymous]

I’ve been having a really hard time these last few weeks due to personal issues and what I believe is anxiety and other things. I really would like to start seeing a psychologist/therapist. However, I work 8-5 everyday and my doctors office has the same hours. Basically, I would have to leave between 3:30-3:45 (my doctor is closer to my job than my house because I recently moved).
How do I tell my MB/DB? It’s extremely embarrassing for me to speak about my mental health issues to others. MB works from home, but I’m worried they won’t agree to me leaving 1.5 h early once a week.
Has anyone had to request weekly time off? How did you go about it? Do I have to mention my issues? How can I be vague?
Any help would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Your doctor? I don’t understand - are you getting a referral from your doctor?

You need to find a therapist who works in the early evenings or early mornings - do not expect your employers to let you off 1.5 hours early every week.

[Anonymous]

I feel like if you have mental health issues it's better to quit and seek treatment. There are many services that offer support for these kind of issues plus you should qualify for disability. Once your issues are resolved or under control you can seek employment. Also you are not obliged to tell current employers about this but be aware that your HCP can notify them if it's determined that you may be capable of harm to yourself or them.

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to inform your MB what type of doctor you’re going to but let her know you will need to leave at X time once a week for the next 3 weeks (or however long). You can ask to extend your hours on other days or come in early to make up the time- it’s good to present her with a plan.

Do you plan to use PTO or will this time off be unpaid? I don’t think it will be a big deal but if you need to visit the doctor more than 4-5 weeks it may be an issue for her. It doesn’t hurt to talk to her but your health is far more important than any job! Especially, when working with children as anxiety can cause other issues.

If it makes you feel any better, I had to leave early once a week for 5 weeks to get my iron- which I can only get through an IV. I just extended my hours on other days and the parents were cool with it because it was temporary and they knew most offices are closed between 3-5- I worked until 6. Plus, they didn’t have a choice if they didn’t want me dragging I needed my iron!

Good luck, Op and take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Do you have agreed upon sick leave?
I think it is reasonable to ask for 1.5 hours off once a week, it probably wont be for very long. I would tell your MB that you have a standing appt the next 8 weeks on Wednesdays, offer to work late a different day if you are able to, that mighy save you being unpaid or burning leave. It also shows you are trying to help them out for helping you out.
You are not required to tell them why, but dont be ashamed of having anxiety, more people have it that you know. I have it and did therapy a couple of times and now take meds. I am not a Nanny anymore but my employer knows about it. I have never had an attack at work but if I do I want my boss to know what my deal is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if you have mental health issues it's better to quit and seek treatment. There are many services that offer support for these kind of issues plus you should qualify for disability. Once your issues are resolved or under control you can seek employment. Also you are not obliged to tell current employers about this but be aware that your HCP can notify them if it's determined that you may be capable of harm to yourself or them.

Having anxiety does not mean she is suicidal or wants to hurt others! Please know what you are talking about.
Why should she quit a job she likes just to go to the doctor once a week? How does she support herself and pay the doctor bills with no job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if you have mental health issues it's better to quit and seek treatment. There are many services that offer support for these kind of issues plus you should qualify for disability. Once your issues are resolved or under control you can seek employment. Also you are not obliged to tell current employers about this but be aware that your HCP can notify them if it's determined that you may be capable of harm to yourself or them.

Having anxiety does not mean she is suicidal or wants to hurt others! Please know what you are talking about.
Why should she quit a job she likes just to go to the doctor once a week? How does she support herself and pay the doctor bills with no job?

While I agree with your first point, unfortunately, being a nanny isn’t the type of job that you can just leave early once a week. If the schedule is 8-5 then I expect the nanny to work the agreed upon hours. Being hired for the position means that is the coverage needed. If your employer has to now either find coverage for you or take the time off themselves that presents an issue for them. It’s easier to just find a new nanny. Op doesn’t have to quit but she will most likely be fired.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP. Also, anxiety does not guarantee an automatic disability. They've become very strict regarding disability claims, especially if you're in Virginia. I was diagnosed with PTSD and BPD, in addition to some physical disabilities that make me unable to work. My claim is in its final appeal. I filed 9 years ago this December. If you do not have another source of income, do not quit your job. Talk to your employers, and let them know that you have a standing appointment for a while (you can set how often you see the psychiatrist). Some people do every two weeks. Also, remember to breathe and to try to put your mind in a good place when you start to feel anxious. It does help. Good luck, OP. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

most therapists are open well into the evening, because most people work during the day. i would go on Zocdoc or call your insurance company and find someone that way. alternatively, you can research sliding scale counseling in your area who will work with you to help you afford to see them. if you need this job to pay the bills, you should not make this request.

[Anonymous]

Just find a therapist who will see you at 6PM.

It is okay to go to your doctor/dentist occasionally during work hours but once a week would cause undue upheaval for most families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if you have mental health issues it's better to quit and seek treatment. There are many services that offer support for these kind of issues plus you should qualify for disability. Once your issues are resolved or under control you can seek employment. Also you are not obliged to tell current employers about this but be aware that your HCP can notify them if it's determined that you may be capable of harm to yourself or them.

Having anxiety does not mean she is suicidal or wants to hurt others! Please know what you are talking about.
Why should she quit a job she likes just to go to the doctor once a week? How does she support herself and pay the doctor bills with no job?

Are you with her everyday? Are you in her shoes to know what she is struggling with? Please do not minimize mental illness because it is serious issues. FYI anxiety can be linked to other serious mood disorders like depression, bipolar and OCD. Plus once she sees her doctor she may be put on drugs that sometimes have undesirable side effects. YOU DO YOUR RESEARCH, honey because I study this already so I know exactly what I am talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if you have mental health issues it's better to quit and seek treatment. There are many services that offer support for these kind of issues plus you should qualify for disability. Once your issues are resolved or under control you can seek employment. Also you are not obliged to tell current employers about this but be aware that your HCP can notify them if it's determined that you may be capable of harm to yourself or them.

Having anxiety does not mean she is suicidal or wants to hurt others! Please know what you are talking about.
Why should she quit a job she likes just to go to the doctor once a week? How does she support herself and pay the doctor bills with no job?

While I agree with your first point, unfortunately, being a nanny isn’t the type of job that you can just leave early once a week. If the schedule is 8-5 then I expect the nanny to work the agreed upon hours. Being hired for the position means that is the coverage needed. If your employer has to now either find coverage for you or take the time off themselves that presents an issue for them. It’s easier to just find a new nanny. Op doesn’t have to quit but she will most likely be fired.

Please shut up! It might not work for you but as a nanny who has worked many years, there is definitely flexibility in this field! You may be the parent who doesn’t allow your nanny to use leave, want them to tell why the need time off and only offer 1 week of their chosen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like if you have mental health issues it's better to quit and seek treatment. There are many services that offer support for these kind of issues plus you should qualify for disability. Once your issues are resolved or under control you can seek employment. Also you are not obliged to tell current employers about this but be aware that your HCP can notify them if it's determined that you may be capable of harm to yourself or them.

Having anxiety does not mean she is suicidal or wants to hurt others! Please know what you are talking about.
Why should she quit a job she likes just to go to the doctor once a week? How does she support herself and pay the doctor bills with no job?

While I agree with your first point, unfortunately, being a nanny isn’t the type of job that you can just leave early once a week. If the schedule is 8-5 then I expect the nanny to work the agreed upon hours. Being hired for the position means that is the coverage needed. If your employer has to now either find coverage for you or take the time off themselves that presents an issue for them. It’s easier to just find a new nanny. Op doesn’t have to quit but she will most likely be fired.

Please shut up! It might not work for you but as a nanny who has worked many years, there is definitely flexibility in this field! You may be the parent who doesn’t allow your nanny to use leave, want them to tell why the need time off and only offer 1 week of their chosen.

Stop being a child! The PP simply disagrees with you. I am a nanny and I know my employers could not handle me leaving 1.5 hours every week - and I have full medical, a leased car and three weeks a year vacation. Plus I earn $27 an hour for one child.

My advice would be to find a therapist with evening hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just find a therapist who will see you at 6PM.

It is okay to go to your doctor/dentist occasionally during work hours but once a week would cause undue upheaval for most families.

This is true, but if it's for a limited time, like, say 4-5 weeks, more people would agree. OP, I suggest that you ask, but make it for a short period of time. You can look for another therapist with longer hours in the meantime.

There are some situations where a family could accommodate this, and (me for example), might be happy to let you use your PTO for it. Others would not be able to swing a once-a-week early evening indefinitely. I don't think it's impossible though, and worth asking.

[Anonymous]

Op here . Thank you all for your comments. For now I’ll try to find an office that opens later. My employers have been very accommodating in the past due to school. As have I (coming in extra early, staying late etc). Of course this might create an issue for them. I will ask for maybe 2 months of leaving early until I’m able to find another office that opens later.