Toddler got out of house and into street - fire nanny?

[Anonymous]

We have a security camera at the front of our home. I was reviewing it today and noticed a lot of activity at one point. I watched it and saw a stranger carry my child up the driveway from the street. My nanny ran out of the house, and the stranger was gesturing angrily towards the road. I believe that my toddler was in the road and this person pulled over and rescued her.

My husband texted our nanny and asked if our toddler had gotten outside today. The nanny said that the backdoor was left unlocked (by her), and that the toddler got out the back and escaped. The nanny did not mention this to us when she saw us in person earlier tonight - we only learned about it by watching the security camera.

Nannies, does this type of thing happen with a toddler, and we only know about it because we happened to watch the security camera today? We are pretty upset but aren't sure if this is a fireable offense or just bad luck. I'm most upset that our nanny didn't tell us herself. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Having a child escape wouldn’t be automatically fireable for me (depending on whether you have childproof locks the toddler can’t reach and how it happened), but the not telling you about it would make me fire her for sure. Accidents do happen, but she should own up to exactly what happened and take steps to make sure it never happens again at the very least.

[Anonymous]

How long was your daughter out there for? Why didn’t the nanny notice she was gone and chase after her?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I can't tell exactly how long she was out based on the camera footage, but maybe 5 minutes to get from the back door to the road, with some stops along the way.

[Anonymous]

Agreed with PP--the fact that it happened wouldn't be a fireable offense for me. The fact that she didn't tell you (and when you asked, still did not give the full story) would be.

If you really like her, maybe sit down and have a conversation about this and set some conditions for what you expect moving forward. If this is one of multiple concerns, though, it would be sound grounds to fire her if that's what you decide to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can't tell exactly how long she was out based on the camera footage, but maybe 5 minutes to get from the back door to the road, with some stops along the way.

Ask the nanny what she was doing that she didn’t run after her immediately. The fact that someone had to bring her in shoes how your nanny was not keeping an eye on her.

[Anonymous]

How many kids do you have? If she was changing a baby’s diaper or refereeing a fight between older siblings it would be more understandable that it happened.

However! I can’t imagine hiding something like this! My youngest charge is a preschooler, but I still tell parents about misbehavior, bumps/scrapes and highlights of the day, that way they have a place to start a conversation with the child.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and yes, I would find this to be a firing offense UNLESS there were extenuating circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Accidents happen.

There are a few things to consider here.
Was the Nanny taking care of other young children at the same time?
Like another previous poster suggested, could she have been changing a diaper?
Does your Nanny have any chores that perhaps she was rushing to complete??

Regardless, I have to agree that telling you when you got home should have occurred.
She may have felt scared or ashamed for what occurred, but she should have told you regardless.

Not sure if it is a firing offense, but my trust in her would be weaker after an incident such as this.

[Anonymous]

A few things:

1) How old is the child? If this is a one or two yo, that is more serious, but some people on DCUM will refer to their 3 1/2yo as a “toddler.” An older 2yo or a 3yo might reasonably be left out of direct line of sight for independent play.

2) What was nanny doing during this time? If this is her only charge, even if there are chores, etc. (barring something crazy like scrubbing the bathroom with toxis chemicals), she should have eyes and ears on the kid all day and should have noticed and investigated immediately.

3) How hard is it to get out? If the toddler plays in the same room as the exterior door and the toddler may have unlocked it himself, then it is again more excusable. If the lock is definitely kid-proof, or the exterior door is in a different part of the house, again that means nanny was clearly inattentive for a long stretch or that she failed to secure the door.

As for whether this kind of thing “just happens with toddlers,” I have been a nanny for 10 years and I always work with at least 2 kids, usually twins. I also take on a fair amount of other duties, particularly cooking. The farthest a kid has gotten on my watch was opening the door. Right now I have 2yo twins and if I have to change a tampon (for example), I first make sure they are in a babyproofed, locked room.

[Anonymous]

Mom here. This happened to me when I was a nanny. The door lock wasn't working and the parents forgot to tell me. My charge was sleeping with his father when I arrived and he somehow slipped pass me and out the door! It was super scary. I don't think you should fire her but definitely have a very serious talk. Accidents do happen.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all of the replies so far. The nanny is only watching this one toddler, who is 1.5 years old. When she responded to my husband's text last night, she just said "yes, the toddler got out the backdoor, I was looking for her in the house and calling her name." No details about what she was doing while the toddler escaped (maybe bathroom? DD's laundry?), how long she was missing, the fact that she made it to the road and a stranger brought her home, etc.

I agree with PPs that the biggest issue is not telling us. When we arrived home, she did tell us out of nowhere that our daughter is fast and that we need to get a gate on the front driveway. But she didn't tell us why she was saying that. She has had honesty issues in the past, but it was just white lies about things that don't matter, things to try to build herself up. We really like her aside from this and don't think we could find a better nanny in terms of engaging with our DD. So we're leaning towards keeping her but wondering if that would be totally crazy at this point?

As further background, we had a nanny before her who we let go for being a bad fit (cell phone use, not engaging with DD). That is making it more difficult for us to consider firing this nanny. But of course I don't want to put my daughter in danger or work with a nanny who will conceal things. Would love more opinions on whether it would be crazy to not fire her for this. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can't tell exactly how long she was out based on the camera footage, but maybe 5 minutes to get from the back door to the road, with some stops along the way.

That's a long time. What was she doing? Tending to a baby?

[Anonymous]

The odd thing is she knew you have cameras so all the more reason to tell you. I would sit down with her and ask her to walk through the whole situation, exactly what happened and what she was doing. I would tell her that you are understanding that things happen but can’t tolerate her not telling you.

[Anonymous]

I remember when I was working in a center a child escaped once. Its because the new assistant forgot to lock the door. But that kid was a brat, I'm sure does the same at home.