Toddler got out of house and into street - fire nanny?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she doesnt like the cameras? Your gonna see it anyways through the cameras. I think she wants to get fired. Shes not happy with the job and I dont think the kid escaped. OP kids are curious all the time. I would talk to the nanny about communicating every issue but if you dont feel safe then find another one. And get better locks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she doesnt like the cameras? Your gonna see it anyways through the cameras. I think she wants to get fired. Shes not happy with the job and I dont think the kid escaped. OP kids are curious all the time. I would talk to the nanny about communicating every issue but if you dont feel safe then find another one. And get better locks?

You need better reading comprehension PP. It’s a security camera outside the house.

[Anonymous]

Of course you should fire her. Things could have been a lot worse. She needs her lesson and you need to move on to someone you can trust.

And I'm a nanny. I would never let go something like that.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

When I was working in a daycare center, a toddler somehow got out of the room, past reception and out the door. We couldn't believe that no one saw him!

I would child-proof your house and gate your front garden (if possible) immediately. They have top locks for doors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the replies so far. The nanny is only watching this one toddler, who is 1.5 years old. When she responded to my husband's text last night, she just said "yes, the toddler got out the backdoor, I was looking for her in the house and calling her name." No details about what she was doing while the toddler escaped (maybe bathroom? DD's laundry?), how long she was missing, the fact that she made it to the road and a stranger brought her home, etc.

I agree with PPs that the biggest issue is not telling us. When we arrived home, she did tell us out of nowhere that our daughter is fast and that we need to get a gate on the front driveway. But she didn't tell us why she was saying that. She has had honesty issues in the past, but it was just white lies about things that don't matter, things to try to build herself up. We really like her aside from this and don't think we could find a better nanny in terms of engaging with our DD. So we're leaning towards keeping her but wondering if that would be totally crazy at this point?

As further background, we had a nanny before her who we let go for being a bad fit (cell phone use, not engaging with DD). That is making it more difficult for us to consider firing this nanny. But of course I don't want to put my daughter in danger or work with a nanny who will conceal things. Would love more opinions on whether it would be crazy to not fire her for this. Thanks.

MB here. I'm shocked you would consider keeping her based on this description. Especially because she has already lied to you about other things, even if they don't pertain to your child. You don't know what else she might be concealing. How can you ever trust her again? We had a nanny who we discovered was telling white lies, and a couple weeks later we learned she'd been arrested for driving drunk and on drugs (not with our children thank goodness) and hadn't told us. That was it for her, and in retrospect the white lies were a big red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the replies so far. The nanny is only watching this one toddler, who is 1.5 years old. When she responded to my husband's text last night, she just said "yes, the toddler got out the backdoor, I was looking for her in the house and calling her name." No details about what she was doing while the toddler escaped (maybe bathroom? DD's laundry?), how long she was missing, the fact that she made it to the road and a stranger brought her home, etc.

I agree with PPs that the biggest issue is not telling us. When we arrived home, she did tell us out of nowhere that our daughter is fast and that we need to get a gate on the front driveway. But she didn't tell us why she was saying that. She has had honesty issues in the past, but it was just white lies about things that don't matter, things to try to build herself up. We really like her aside from this and don't think we could find a better nanny in terms of engaging with our DD. So we're leaning towards keeping her but wondering if that would be totally crazy at this point?

As further background, we had a nanny before her who we let go for being a bad fit (cell phone use, not engaging with DD). That is making it more difficult for us to consider firing this nanny. But of course I don't want to put my daughter in danger or work with a nanny who will conceal things. Would love more opinions on whether it would be crazy to not fire her for this. Thanks.

Oh hell no! I would absolutely be looking for her replacement ASAP and I would work from home in the mean time if either of you are able. This is not a safe situation for your kid. Given that this is your second subpar nanny in a row, I wonder if there is something undesirable about the job (low pay, weird hours, etc.)? Or if you are just really bad at hiring. If the latter, a reputable agency would be a very good investment.

—Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the replies so far. The nanny is only watching this one toddler, who is 1.5 years old. When she responded to my husband's text last night, she just said "yes, the toddler got out the backdoor, I was looking for her in the house and calling her name." No details about what she was doing while the toddler escaped (maybe bathroom? DD's laundry?), how long she was missing, the fact that she made it to the road and a stranger brought her home, etc.

I agree with PPs that the biggest issue is not telling us. When we arrived home, she did tell us out of nowhere that our daughter is fast and that we need to get a gate on the front driveway. But she didn't tell us why she was saying that. She has had honesty issues in the past, but it was just white lies about things that don't matter, things to try to build herself up. We really like her aside from this and don't think we could find a better nanny in terms of engaging with our DD. So we're leaning towards keeping her but wondering if that would be totally crazy at this point?

As further background, we had a nanny before her who we let go for being a bad fit (cell phone use, not engaging with DD). That is making it more difficult for us to consider firing this nanny. But of course I don't want to put my daughter in danger or work with a nanny who will conceal things. Would love more opinions on whether it would be crazy to not fire her for this. Thanks.

I can see how a child would get out, and the nanny's explanation is reasonable. Maybe she was in the bathroom or swapping out a load of laundry, came out, didn't see the toddler, and started looking for her inside, which would be reasonable. But not telling you about it is a BIG problem.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny of 2 toddlers in a share. One of the homes have a screen door that the toddlers can open (and get out) if the door is not locked. If I have to run upstairs or use the bathroom I either lock the screen door (we're on a main street so they like to look at the cars and we get a lot of sirens) or close the front door and open it once I come back.

Things do happen. I would talk to her because she was probably scared she would get fired. Or she didn't think it was a big deal and if that's the case, I wouldn't keep her around. But its best to talk to her and inform her of how important it is to lock doors, and keep a watchful eye on him or her. 5 minutes is way too long to not notice a child is missing. If my charges are quiet for more than 5 seconds I yell out "what are ya'll doing" they normally run in wherever I am (usually kitchen prepping meals) or they will start making some sort of noise. If I hear nothing within 2 seconds, I stop what I am doing to check- most likely, when toddlers are quiet it means trouble. I am glad your baby wasn't hurt!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she doesnt like the cameras? Your gonna see it anyways through the cameras. I think she wants to get fired. Shes not happy with the job and I dont think the kid escaped. OP kids are curious all the time. I would talk to the nanny about communicating every issue but if you dont feel safe then find another one. And get better locks?

You need better reading comprehension PP. It’s a security camera outside the house.

So feisty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny of 2 toddlers in a share. One of the homes have a screen door that the toddlers can open (and get out) if the door is not locked. If I have to run upstairs or use the bathroom I either lock the screen door (we're on a main street so they like to look at the cars and we get a lot of sirens) or close the front door and open it once I come back.

Things do happen. I would talk to her because she was probably scared she would get fired. Or she didn't think it was a big deal and if that's the case, I wouldn't keep her around. But its best to talk to her and inform her of how important it is to lock doors, and keep a watchful eye on him or her. 5 minutes is way too long to not notice a child is missing. If my charges are quiet for more than 5 seconds I yell out "what are ya'll doing" they normally run in wherever I am (usually kitchen prepping meals) or they will start making some sort of noise. If I hear nothing within 2 seconds, I stop what I am doing to check- most likely, when toddlers are quiet it means trouble. I am glad your baby wasn't hurt!

+1 I would above all else ask her why she didn’t tell you and how you finding out via camera is much worse

[Anonymous]

Accidents do happen. The correct response would be for the nanny to tell you about the incident because otherwise you won’t know to be on alert for a repeat of the toddler behavior. Not reporting the incident means the nanny needs to be fired.

[Anonymous]

No nanny in her right mind is going to tell you a child escaped. Lots of dramatic nannies and mbs here. Sit down and have a very serious talk with your child's nanny. Whos to say the next nanny will be any better. Accidents do happen all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No nanny in her right mind is going to tell you a child escaped. Lots of dramatic nannies and mbs here. Sit down and have a very serious talk with your child's nanny. Whos to say the next nanny will be any better. Accidents do happen all the time.

Nanny here and if you are a nanny, you aren’t a good one. If an accident happens on my watch I absolutely tell the parents, along with some ideas of what we can do to prevent. I do not lie to my employers, and little issues or big ones. Trust is imperitive!

[Anonymous]

Yep, I'd fire her, now question. Accidents do happen. I understand that. There are still consequences for accidents. If I lost my company $10 million (or much less), whether or not by accident, you bet I'd be out of a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she doesnt like the cameras? Your gonna see it anyways through the cameras. I think she wants to get fired. Shes not happy with the job and I dont think the kid escaped. OP kids are curious all the time. I would talk to the nanny about communicating every issue but if you dont feel safe then find another one. And get better locks?

You need better reading comprehension PP. It’s a security camera outside the house.

So feisty

Stop embarrassing yourself. OP, the nanny may not like this job for whatever reason and your child’s safety is at stake. Better to part ways now before you regret if something serious happened. And re-evaluate your criteria for hiring nanny or talk to agency.