MB and DB leaving for 10 days...
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Anonymous
| DB just informed me that in September he and MB will be leaving for Europe for 10 days. Her mother will be staying here for those 10 days. However, I’m apprehensive about this situation because she’s an older lady and I really think they are putting too much on her. They expect her to put down two kids at night everyday?! The kids will be 10 months and 4 yo. I briefly met her when I was interviewed so I don’t actually know much about her. According to MB, she’s very strong and energetic for her age (she’s in her early 60s). I Was thinking about suggesting them to hire someone to come from 5-9. (I leave at 5). I don’t know if this is a good suggestion, but I have a feeling grandma might not be able to deal with and handle both kids for 10 days straight. I work from 8-5 and to be quite honest I know at 5 I am ready to go home. I cannot imagaine her feeling any different. I also don’t want to be over stepping boundaries here, but his mother stayed for one night with the kids and she was exhasted even though I was there from 7-5. His mother and her mother aren’t the same, but I just have a feeling they need to hire extra help for nights (maybe not every night) and weekends. |
Anonymous
| No, no need to hire someone. Going 10 nights with young kids is a long time. |
Anonymous
| Nope, MYOB, work 8-5 and let grandma do her 'job'. 60 is not old. |
Anonymous
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60 I not old, OP. However if you think she has some health reason why she can't handle it, talk to your MB about it.
I am a 63 yr old nanny and I routinely stay with a 3 yr old and a 10 month old for days at a time, sleeping over and handling everything for the house and kids myself. You get into a routine - it is no big deal. But I am the kids' nanny and know them well and all their wonderful little quirks and routines. |
Anonymous
I understand. However, forget the age thing. She hardly sees her grandkids. She only sees them once a year for holidays. My point is that she might get overwhelmed with 2 kids for 10 days straight. I’m just concerned the parents aren’t thinking about how difficult it might get for her. I have a hard time juggling both of the kids, but at least I get to go home. Grandma won’t get a break. I was quite shocked that they would just leave like that as leave grandma like that. As a PP said, I guess I’ll just mind my business and work 8-5. |
Anonymous
| Perhaps suggest that Grandma come a few days early and watch the evening/bedtime routine, and try it out by herself at least one night while parents are still there to rescue her? And have a back up nanny's number handy if/when Grandma can't do it! |
Anonymous
| If you are available in the evening, but you just aren’t sure that you want to work such long days, perhaps you could suggest to them that you would be willing to shift your hours and come later so that the time grandma has to handle solo will be morning hours instead of dinner bath and bedtime. Especially with bath, that tends to be much more physically intensive. If she comes in the morning, you could leave breakfast stuff and clothes laid out for the kids and give her suggestions on easy outings (such as someplace like JW Tumbles or scramble). Then you would get there in time to help with lunch and naps and can take them out in the afternoon to make sure that they get some energy out and help with bathtime and bedtime and dinner. |
Anonymous
| From your time frame she has 4 hours to give them dinner, bath, and bed. I am sure she will be fine. |
Anonymous
Older charge is in half day preschool and starts at 11:40-2:40. So I would have to shift my hours to at least have a 10/11 am start and I’m am not willing to do that. I just don’t want them to pin it all on my and grandma. |
Anonymous
| I’m not sure grandma drives. |
Anonymous
Baby is put down at 7:15/7:30 and older is put down around 8. Baby doesn’t have a schedule so he squally is up again at 9:30. Or at least that’s what MB tells me |
Anonymous
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When I went out of town, my nanny stayed late to help my mom. But I have four kids, and bedtime is a zoo.
Grandma will have what, 4 hours a day with both kids before bedtime? Then the overnights with the baby, and then a long day when she can nap. If you're really apprehensive, OP, talk to your NF. But 60 is a young grandma -- I really don't think you need to worry so much. Worst that happens is that bedtime doesn't go well for a couple of days, then they find their groove. |
Anonymous
You’re right. I can handle the kids from 8-5 and grandma can sleep and rest. I don’t mind having them two at all during the day because obviously that’s my job. But I’m just worried about night time routine and during the night. The baby wakes up a lot and needs feeding. |
Anonymous
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I agree that 60 isn't old and you need to tread very carefully OP.
What you could do perhaps is ask your MB if she'd like you to be available for a handful of OT hours, or "help" calls if Grandma gets overwhelmed. You can suggest that maybe she puts together a couple of local babysitters or mommies helpers type kids who could help Grandma out if she wants it. And you could draft a "cheat sheet" for your MB to revise/amend. When I left my kids w/ anyone I left very detailed instructions about bedtime rituals, favorite songs, tricks for managing meltdowns, overall schedule, etc... So you can support MB in helping put things like that together. But tread very lightly on the "she will be overwhelmed, she's old, she doesn't know the kids well, etc..." VERY lightly. And be prepared for her to do just fine! Don't assume the worst - it won't help anything or anyone. |
Anonymous
To be honest, I do not want to be on call for grandma or do OT. They have 2 sitters they use for date nights and weekends. I guess when the date is closer I can start asking questions |