MB and DB leaving for 10 days...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that 60 isn't old and you need to tread very carefully OP.

What you could do perhaps is ask your MB if she'd like you to be available for a handful of OT hours, or "help" calls if Grandma gets overwhelmed. You can suggest that maybe she puts together a couple of local babysitters or mommies helpers type kids who could help Grandma out if she wants it.

And you could draft a "cheat sheet" for your MB to revise/amend. When I left my kids w/ anyone I left very detailed instructions about bedtime rituals, favorite songs, tricks for managing meltdowns, overall schedule, etc... So you can support MB in helping put things like that together.

But tread very lightly on the "she will be overwhelmed, she's old, she doesn't know the kids well, etc..." VERY lightly.

And be prepared for her to do just fine! Don't assume the worst - it won't help anything or anyone.

To be honest, I do not want to be on call for grandma or do OT. They have 2 sitters they use for date nights and weekends. I guess when the date is closer I can start asking questions

Oh sorry, I misunderstood a part of your comment. Of course grandma can call me to ask questions. I thought you meant grandma would call me and ask me to go to the house

[Anonymous]

Then let it go OP.

The MB has a plan, has backup sitters, has told you it's fine and seems to have confidence in both you and Grandma.

You need to back way off. You sound like you just want to be critical - not helpful. This would be getting on my nerves tremendously if you worked for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then let it go OP.

The MB has a plan, has backup sitters, has told you it's fine and seems to have confidence in both you and Grandma.

You need to back way off. You sound like you just want to be critical - not helpful. This would be getting on my nerves tremendously if you worked for me.

They never said the sitters would come in. I’m just saying they have sitter who they can ask to come one. And good thing I don’t work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then let it go OP.

The MB has a plan, has backup sitters, has told you it's fine and seems to have confidence in both you and Grandma.

You need to back way off. You sound like you just want to be critical - not helpful. This would be getting on my nerves tremendously if you worked for me.

+1. Let them go on their trip. Grandma can call them and ask for help if she needs it, and then you can say "no."

It sounds like what you're really worried about is that they will leave, grandma will be overwhelmed, and you'll feel responsible to stay late. If that's the issue, then address that one. Say to your bosses, "when you are gone, if grandma needs extra help, do you have anyone lined up for that?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then let it go OP.

The MB has a plan, has backup sitters, has told you it's fine and seems to have confidence in both you and Grandma.

You need to back way off. You sound like you just want to be critical - not helpful. This would be getting on my nerves tremendously if you worked for me.

+1. Let them go on their trip. Grandma can call them and ask for help if she needs it, and then you can say "no."

It sounds like what you're really worried about is that they will leave, grandma will be overwhelmed, and you'll feel responsible to stay late. If that's the issue, then address that one. Say to your bosses, "when you are gone, if grandma needs extra help, do you have anyone lined up for that?"

Yes, this is a worry of mine too. Thank you for the suggestion. MB and DB seem nonchalant about it, so I guess I’ll have to wait and see how grandma handles the two kids.

[Anonymous]

You absolutely need to let this go. You are responsible for the children during your working hours. Clearly the parents trust the grandma to watch the kids - that is all you need to know. You are the nanny, not the parents.

My 63 year old mother watches my kids when I travel and I would be completely offended if my nanny tried to tell me she didn't think that was a good idea. It would be goodbye nanny.

Stay in your lane, and do not overstep.

[Anonymous]

It may be a rough 10 days for everyone, but you will all survive. I’d mention having backup sitters available for grandma to call for help if needed. That will signal to them that you are unwilling and gives them direction to make sure the grandma isn’t overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it is best if mum is the word & you do not say anything to the parents.

Just do your job + assume the parents know what they are doing.

You said sixty is old.
You must be in your early-20’s, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is best if mum is the word & you do not say anything to the parents.

Just do your job + assume the parents know what they are doing.

You said sixty is old.
You must be in your early-20’s, right?

Seriously. I'm an old mom - young children in my early 50's. You can smell the youthful ageism and entitlement a mile away with this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is best if mum is the word & you do not say anything to the parents.

Just do your job + assume the parents know what they are doing.

You said sixty is old.
You must be in your early-20’s, right?

Seriously. I'm an old mom - young children in my early 50's. You can smell the youthful ageism and entitlement a mile away with this one.

Op here and everyone CALM down. I swear everyone on here gets offended for anything. I have never been around older people my whole life so I’m not too sure what to expect. And from my understanding grandma has never been alone with both kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is best if mum is the word & you do not say anything to the parents.

Just do your job + assume the parents know what they are doing.

You said sixty is old.
You must be in your early-20’s, right?

Seriously. I'm an old mom - young children in my early 50's. You can smell the youthful ageism and entitlement a mile away with this one.

My DB is early 50s, youngest child is 5. He’s fit, but constantly exhausted by kids, and he flat out tells them he can’t do some things anymore because he’s getting older and they’re getting older/heavier/faster. He was fine for toddlers and preschoolers, but it is starting to take a toll. He’s also starting to realize that he will be eligible for Medicare as kids graduate from high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it is best if mum is the word & you do not say anything to the parents.

Just do your job + assume the parents know what they are doing.

You said sixty is old.
You must be in your early-20’s, right?

Seriously. I'm an old mom - young children in my early 50's. You can smell the youthful ageism and entitlement a mile away with this one.

My DB is early 50s, youngest child is 5. He’s fit, but constantly exhausted by kids, and he flat out tells them he can’t do some things anymore because he’s getting older and they’re getting older/heavier/faster. He was fine for toddlers and preschoolers, but it is starting to take a toll. He’s also starting to realize that he will be eligible for Medicare as kids graduate from high school.

OP here and my mom is in her early 50s and gets tired a lot and always says she doesn’t feel as energized as she felt when she was younger. I was/am concerned about her age, but who knows maybe she’s strong and energetic. The point that I am more concerned about is her being all 10 days with the kids. I know I would need a break and rest time if I was her. Everyone is different and everyone here is assuming ALL older people have the same physical capability. When the time gets closer, I’ll see what B/DB tell me. Maybe they’ll ask me to stay late or come in the weekend. But I will decline and tell them I need to rest up too.

[Anonymous]

OP, let it go.

Just let. it. go.

For god's sake...

[Anonymous]

OP, please let this go. You get tired by 5 because it is your job and you do this day in, day out. Some grandmas would be ecstatic to spend time with their grandchildren (one of the real long-term joys of having a family and getting older) — my mom and MIL have both leapt at such opportunities even though it is an exhausting time, because it’s a labor of love and they “get” to do it very rarely and can catch up on sleep afterwards. Some grandmas may not feel such joy in unpaid labor. that family dynamic is none of your business though. Offer some limited on call time during regular work hours if yo want to, but please don’t presume to tell the mom she needs to hire extra help. My mother and MIL would both be incredibly offended if my nanny implied in any way they couldn’t do the “job” of caring for their grandkids.

[Anonymous]

It’s not your call. You only saw grandma once briefly. Why don’t you trust your employers with their decision. She will manage just fine.