Charges sporting events

[Anonymous]

How many activities such as soccer, baseball and basketball games do you nannies attend of your charges each season ? My charges are both doing baseball and soccer this season. Going to every game would really tie up my weekends and my relaxation time. How many games are appropriate? I was thinking 1 each which would end up being 4 this season. Does that seem fair ?

[Anonymous]

I usually go to two or three a season. It really means a lot to my charges that I'm there so I do sacrifice a bit of off-time to go. Same with their birthday parties.

[Anonymous]

I have a strange schedule, so I'm not sure how many will be possible. I might have one or both of the other kids at home.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I do not expect our kids' nanny to attend ANYTHING outside of working hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I do not expect our kids' nanny to attend ANYTHING outside of working hours.

+1

While I love love my charges, I would not want to attend any sports games on my days off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I do not expect our kids' nanny to attend ANYTHING outside of working hours.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many activities such as soccer, baseball and basketball games do you nannies attend of your charges each season ? My charges are both doing baseball and soccer this season. Going to every game would really tie up my weekends and my relaxation time. How many games are appropriate? I was thinking 1 each which would end up being 4 this season. Does that seem fair ?

Sounds very generous of you.

[Anonymous]

Never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

Op here. I'm a live in nanny so I wouldn't just be showing up. I would be riding in the car with the family to the event. I go to all other events that the children have, most are in the evening during the week so I just hop in the car right along with everyone else after I get off work or I drive the children myself and we meet the parents.

Friday evening I was asked by both children if I would be attending their games this season. It made me uncomfortable as I don't want to attend every game as it would take up 4-5 hours of my Saturday and my Sunday. Potentially 10 hours each weekend. I'm hoping to strike a balance that everyone is happy with. I do want to see their games , just not all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

Why is it about you, rather than the child and nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

Op here. I'm a live in nanny so I wouldn't just be showing up. I would be riding in the car with the family to the event. I go to all other events that the children have, most are in the evening during the week so I just hop in the car right along with everyone else after I get off work or I drive the children myself and we meet the parents.

Friday evening I was asked by both children if I would be attending their games this season. It made me uncomfortable as I don't want to attend every game as it would take up 4-5 hours of my Saturday and my Sunday. Potentially 10 hours each weekend. I'm hoping to strike a balance that everyone is happy with. I do want to see their games , just not all of them.

18.56 here. I'm in the same boat, OP, and I've yet to figure out what I'm going to do. As it is, I've done enough the last month that I haven't had a full day to myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

Op here. I'm a live in nanny so I wouldn't just be showing up. I would be riding in the car with the family to the event. I go to all other events that the children have, most are in the evening during the week so I just hop in the car right along with everyone else after I get off work or I drive the children myself and we meet the parents.

Friday evening I was asked by both children if I would be attending their games this season. It made me uncomfortable as I don't want to attend every game as it would take up 4-5 hours of my Saturday and my Sunday. Potentially 10 hours each weekend. I'm hoping to strike a balance that everyone is happy with. I do want to see their games , just not all of them.

I understand that you have your own relationship with the children, and that these are older children. However, this is something your MB and DB should help with. Please talk to them. They need to explain your place in the household to the children, and help them to understand that you are not another family member, and that, in fact, you need time for your own life and family.

They and you need to think of kind ways to explain this, but it sounds like you have all been acting more like you're an au pair or older sister, who is expected to be part of the family at all times. I am sure that has fostered a comfortable and loving relationship, but this is one of those instances where the "job" nature of the relationship needs to be accepted by everyone, including the children.

If the parents are unwilling to explain the employer/employee nature of your presence to the children, and therefore expect you to just kind of tell them that you don't want to go to their games, that would be really shitty of them, and would make me start to rethink how good this relationship really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

Sure you care about her in that you want her to be happy as long as she's not too close to you kids. With whom she spends her days. Yep. That seems possible.

Even my former charges still occasionally invite me to their events. Why on Earth would it be uncomfortable? If you are THAT uncomfortable spending time with you children's caregiver in an unpaid capacity, then you need a new nanny (because you don't get along with the current one) or you need to stay home (because you don't understand and value the role of a nanny).