Charges sporting events

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And what's wrong? You have a great nanny. Interested in children and sports. This is wonderful.

Why would you pull up a thread from 2 years ago and comment on it as though it is current???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

Sure you care about her in that you want her to be happy as long as she's not too close to you kids. With whom she spends her days. Yep. That seems possible.

Even my former charges still occasionally invite me to their events. Why on Earth would it be uncomfortable? If you are THAT uncomfortable spending time with you children's caregiver in an unpaid capacity, then you need a new nanny (because you don't get along with the current one) or you need to stay home (because you don't understand and value the role of a nanny).

NP. I'll be honest, our former nanny was very different from us. I didn't really want her coming to an event like a kid's game where I'm spending the time with my friends. She was invited to our kids' birthday parties and did attend, but I was so busy during those it's not like I was sitting around just hanging out. Our current nanny is very much like us and I invite her to things and she either attends or doesn't based on her schedule and interest. Maybe it helps that she is friends with our friends' nannies so it just seems so much more natural to have her around. Our old nanny was very good at taking care of our kids, but socially we had nothing in common with her, so if she came to a game I'd feel obligated to sit there and talk to her and then not enjoy chatting with my friends instead. For what it's worth, she cared for our kids when they were younger, so they never had sporting events or anything like that to attend. They did have preschool performances but she never asked to attend those even though she knew when they were and frankly it didn't occur to me to invite her. Our current nanny wants to attend school stuff. All that to say, both nannies were very qualified and well-paid but they were different people with whom we clicked on different levels. I think it's possible to have a good working relationship with someone that you don't want to spend time with socially. I get along great with my boss but have no desire to hang out with him on the weekends. So you need to shake the chip off your shoulder, relax, and consider that there are many types of nanny/parent relationships that can work well for all involved without needing to have an off-the-clock component as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

Sure you care about her in that you want her to be happy as long as she's not too close to you kids. With whom she spends her days. Yep. That seems possible.

Even my former charges still occasionally invite me to their events. Why on Earth would it be uncomfortable? If you are THAT uncomfortable spending time with you children's caregiver in an unpaid capacity, then you need a new nanny (because you don't get along with the current one) or you need to stay home (because you don't understand and value the role of a nanny).

NP. I'll be honest, our former nanny was very different from us. I didn't really want her coming to an event like a kid's game where I'm spending the time with my friends. She was invited to our kids' birthday parties and did attend, but I was so busy during those it's not like I was sitting around just hanging out. Our current nanny is very much like us and I invite her to things and she either attends or doesn't based on her schedule and interest. Maybe it helps that she is friends with our friends' nannies so it just seems so much more natural to have her around. Our old nanny was very good at taking care of our kids, but socially we had nothing in common with her, so if she came to a game I'd feel obligated to sit there and talk to her and then not enjoy chatting with my friends instead. For what it's worth, she cared for our kids when they were younger, so they never had sporting events or anything like that to attend. They did have preschool performances but she never asked to attend those even though she knew when they were and frankly it didn't occur to me to invite her. Our current nanny wants to attend school stuff. All that to say, both nannies were very qualified and well-paid but they were different people with whom we clicked on different levels. I think it's possible to have a good working relationship with someone that you don't want to spend time with socially. I get along great with my boss but have no desire to hang out with him on the weekends. So you need to shake the chip off your shoulder, relax, and consider that there are many types of nanny/parent relationships that can work well for all involved without needing to have an off-the-clock component as well.

Let me be honest too. If you tried to socialize with me beyond basic pleasantries when I’m there to cheer on and encourage my charge at a game/meet/tournament, I’d be uncomfortable too. I socialize a little at practice, but I’m also looking for ways to help my charge improve. At the actual game, I’m there to take pictures and videos of successes and things to improve, and to let me charge know that they mean enough to me that I’m willing to give up part of my (very limited!) free time to cheer them on doing something they love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

Sure you care about her in that you want her to be happy as long as she's not too close to you kids. With whom she spends her days. Yep. That seems possible.

Even my former charges still occasionally invite me to their events. Why on Earth would it be uncomfortable? If you are THAT uncomfortable spending time with you children's caregiver in an unpaid capacity, then you need a new nanny (because you don't get along with the current one) or you need to stay home (because you don't understand and value the role of a nanny).

I'm not going to stay home and we plan to keep our nanny as long as we can. Zero intention of getting anyone else. Look at the live-ins who said they were asked to attend games and don't want to go - I won't have my kids imposing that way on other people. If they're in a sports game every single weekend, that's not special. If they made it to state championships or something, that would be different. But even then, I wouldn't let the kids invite the nanny and if they did, I'd immediately explain a possible out so they didn't feel obligated. I don't want the kids' nanny to burn out.

Uh-huh. You said that having your nanny there would be "weird and uncomfortable" because you care about HER. Checks out.

Np. You have an axe to grind, and your posts are annoying.

Op can you decide week to week, depending on what else is going on in your life?

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- I would make up events you have to attend so you don’t hurt the kids feelings and leave the house before the game starts, then return while they are gone. It’s unreasonable to expect you to attend that many games. I’d attend one per season if I was a live in and ZERO for live out.

[Anonymous]

Nanny again- I’m a live out and attend school performances when they are on my scheduled working days, but no I don’t go to recitals or attend events other than bday parties on my days off. My bosses don’t invite me and it would be weird if I invited myself. I’ve been with my nanny family for 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them to practices? If so, one each per season is plenty. To the MB, we aren't talking about what the parents require but about the relationship with the kids. Whether or not you care about the nanny, she may be important to your kids and they may value having her present in their lives beyond the scope of a paycheck.

If the nanny I employed showed up at my kids' events uninvited and outside of their working hours that would be weird and uncomfortable. I care about our childrens' nanny, and it's unclear why you extrapolated otherwise.

Op here. I'm a live in nanny so I wouldn't just be showing up. I would be riding in the car with the family to the event. I go to all other events that the children have, most are in the evening during the week so I just hop in the car right along with everyone else after I get off work or I drive the children myself and we meet the parents.

Friday evening I was asked by both children if I would be attending their games this season. It made me uncomfortable as I don't want to attend every game as it would take up 4-5 hours of my Saturday and my Sunday. Potentially 10 hours each weekend. I'm hoping to strike a balance that everyone is happy with. I do want to see their games , just not all of them.

18.56 here. I'm in the same boat, OP, and I've yet to figure out what I'm going to do. As it is, I've done enough the last month that I haven't had a full day to myself.

Easy. " I am your nanny, not your parent. I take care of you during their absence. Otherwise, YOUR PARENTS go to sporting events."

It is up to you to set boundaries with entire family and you are not on duty 24/7!