Accidentally forwarded email from MB

[Anonymous]

I was accidentally added to an email chain between MB and the grandma, and I'm kind of hurt by the contents of the message. I've been with the family 4 years and just feel like I've been kicked in the gut. I didn't do anything wrong, but it just basically let me know how little they value me as someone important in their kids lives. The email wasn't mean, it just basically minimized my role. Made me feel like I'm basically just the postman or the gardener. A disposable person. Feeling so hurt.

[Anonymous]

OP again- I was actually approached by the family I sit for on the weekend and they asked me to be their full time nanny. At first I kind of brushed it off, but now I think I'm going to talk to the family this weekend. If you don't value me, why should I stay? I am just so hurt.

[Anonymous]

Definitely let the other family start putting together your compensation package. Make a list of what you're willing to offer, and what you'd like in return for your hard work.

[Anonymous]

This is how easy you can lose your nanny. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is how easy you can lose your nanny. Sad.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

What did it say OP? How do you know she accidentally sent it to you? I highly doubt MB would send you the email if it were bashing you.

[Anonymous]

OP here- it was pretty obvious it was accidental. They were talking about me. It wasn't awful, but it was just very obvious that my role in the kids life wasn't important to them. I didn't think of myself as part of the family, I just thought they values me. The email was basically meh, they could take it of leave it about me. Don't want to get into specifics in case MB is on here.

[Anonymous]

OP again- to clarify, I had emailed the grandma and she was discussing things with the mom back and forth on a chain for a few days, then I think grandma hit reply all or something.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry.
I'm an MB and here's another perspective. I know my nanny is extremely important in my children's lives and I value her highly. My kids are with her as much as me.
Grandma babysits every other weekend and loves my kids. but kids talk about the nanny a lot and it makes Grandma feels like she is less important or not needed. I try to make Grandma feel better and let her know she is more important than nanny. It's not really true at this stage of their lives- kids need/love nanny, but Grandma is family and her grandkids mean everything to her.

Anyway, if it's a good job, try to sort it out with MB first.

[Anonymous]

I respectfully disagree w/the above poster who advises discussing the matter w/your MomBoss.

You now actually KNOW what she wrote about you. And you cannot "unread" her email.

No matter what she could say, her words will always remain in your mind.

I say talk to the other family & if they are still looking for a nanny, seriously consider working for them.

I'm sorry this happened to you OP.
Families should never make a nanny feel indispensable no matter what.

[Anonymous]

OP here- I already contacted the weekend family and they have put together a better package that my current family is offering. In two months I would have been with my job 5 years. I just feel kind of numb. I would understand the email if I had done something wrong, but I haven't done anything except go above and beyond. I don't call in sick, I'm always on time, don't use my phone, work overtime anytime, always come in on weekends, and help maintain the home when the housekeep isn't there just to be nice. I'm well paid, but more important that money I want to feel valued and appreciated. After I talk to weekend family, I'm going to speak to my current employers. I cried the whole drive home from work. I'm going to really miss the kids and this job I thought I loved. I am just devastated but I can't forget what they said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I already contacted the weekend family and they have put together a better package that my current family is offering. In two months I would have been with my job 5 years. I just feel kind of numb. I would understand the email if I had done something wrong, but I haven't done anything except go above and beyond. I don't call in sick, I'm always on time, don't use my phone, work overtime anytime, always come in on weekends, and help maintain the home when the housekeep isn't there just to be nice. I'm well paid, but more important that money I want to feel valued and appreciated. After I talk to weekend family, I'm going to speak to my current employers. I cried the whole drive home from work. I'm going to really miss the kids and this job I thought I loved. I am just devastated but I can't forget what they said.

I'm so sorry your employer was so ruthless. Shame on her. Good that you'll soon move on. But do the transition very carefully, OP. Your employer may have a meltdown and fire you on the spot, so be extra careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I already contacted the weekend family and they have put together a better package that my current family is offering. In two months I would have been with my job 5 years. I just feel kind of numb. I would understand the email if I had done something wrong, but I haven't done anything except go above and beyond. I don't call in sick, I'm always on time, don't use my phone, work overtime anytime, always come in on weekends, and help maintain the home when the housekeep isn't there just to be nice. I'm well paid, but more important that money I want to feel valued and appreciated. After I talk to weekend family, I'm going to speak to my current employers. I cried the whole drive home from work. I'm going to really miss the kids and this job I thought I loved. I am just devastated but I can't forget what they said.

You need to grow up! You cried because an email that wasn't intended for you hurt your feelings? Get over it. Your a domestic worker, not family. You will not be valued higher than the parents or grandma. You need a thicker skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I already contacted the weekend family and they have put together a better package that my current family is offering. In two months I would have been with my job 5 years. I just feel kind of numb. I would understand the email if I had done something wrong, but I haven't done anything except go above and beyond. I don't call in sick, I'm always on time, don't use my phone, work overtime anytime, always come in on weekends, and help maintain the home when the housekeep isn't there just to be nice. I'm well paid, but more important that money I want to feel valued and appreciated. After I talk to weekend family, I'm going to speak to my current employers. I cried the whole drive home from work. I'm going to really miss the kids and this job I thought I loved. I am just devastated but I can't forget what they said.

You need to grow up! You cried because an email that wasn't intended for you hurt your feelings? Get over it. Your a domestic worker, not family. You will not be valued higher than the parents or grandma. You need a thicker skin.

Stop. Just stop. What she is feeling is completely valid. She has helped raise those children and found out that her role in their life isn't important to her employers. That's a big deal. I'd be upset by that too. Nowhere in her post does she say that her role should be more valued than parent's or grandma's. You came up with that on your own.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP.

FWIW, I do think that 23:18 may have a point. I'm not trying to diminish how hurtful it is to read things that feel so crummy to you, but I'm an MB and can tell you that the way my kids' grandparents view/talk about/treat our nanny is VERY difficult to manage.

I routinely have to protect our nanny from them getting overinvolved, and from them making her life difficult. But I also have to try not to offend the grandparents (especially my inlaws) and it is difficult.

Again, I'm not excusing what happened, but I could easily see your current MB being horrified, ashamed, embarrassed and so sorry at what you read. If you found something better - then great. That's a happy ending for you. But with 5 years history with the family I would also suggest letting them know what happened. Whether or not you would want to give them another chance is, of course, totally up to you but that's my two cents.