Accidentally forwarded email from MB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- Weekend family agreed to wait 4 weeks, so I gave a months notice today. Did not specify why I am leaving. MB was angry, DB was sad and said he will write me a glowing reference. I've been babysitting for weekend family for several years, so I know them already and it will be a good fit. Pay increase, more benefits and vacation. Sorry to disappoint the angry nannies on here that called me unprofessional, but I quit very professionally. I can't work for someone who doesn't respect me as a person or value my contribution. Maybe you can, but you'd probably be miserable in your job (hence the reason you come on this board regularly to spew venom and awful comments).

Congratulations, OP! So happy for you.
I suspect some parents here claim to be nannies with their bad advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I already contacted the weekend family and they have put together a better package that my current family is offering. In two months I would have been with my job 5 years. I just feel kind of numb. I would understand the email if I had done something wrong, but I haven't done anything except go above and beyond. I don't call in sick, I'm always on time, don't use my phone, work overtime anytime, always come in on weekends, and help maintain the home when the housekeep isn't there just to be nice. I'm well paid, but more important that money I want to feel valued and appreciated. After I talk to weekend family, I'm going to speak to my current employers. I cried the whole drive home from work. I'm going to really miss the kids and this job I thought I loved. I am just devastated but I can't forget what they said.

You need to grow up! You cried because an email that wasn't intended for you hurt your feelings? Get over it. Your a domestic worker, not family. You will not be valued higher than the parents or grandma. You need a thicker skin.

You need to babysit your own kids.

[Anonymous]

This all sounds incredibly melodramatic.

OP, are you sure something else is not bothering you? 5 years with a a family and you have a meltdown over some email language which you are choosing to speculate upon. It's not gushy enough for you or singing the high praises?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- Weekend family agreed to wait 4 weeks, so I gave a months notice today. Did not specify why I am leaving. MB was angry, DB was sad and said he will write me a glowing reference. I've been babysitting for weekend family for several years, so I know them already and it will be a good fit. Pay increase, more benefits and vacation. Sorry to disappoint the angry nannies on here that called me unprofessional, but I quit very professionally. I can't work for someone who doesn't respect me as a person or value my contribution. Maybe you can, but you'd probably be miserable in your job (hence the reason you come on this board regularly to spew venom and awful comments).

If you were babysitting for the weekend family for years, did they just fire their current nanny to hire you? You'd better hope things work out because you just burnt a bridge with your full-time, five year reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Grandma was actually saying nice things about me. That I was a good role model, she was happy I was in their lives, the kids were so lucky etc. It was my MB who basically acted like I had done zero to help the kids, it was nature vs nature and if anyone was a good role model it was her, I was just a warm body in the house (for 60-70 hours a week but whatever) etc. I can't forget that. I was worried at first about posting details, but I've already decided to leave.

Does Grandma praise her daughter for being a good mother by working to help support her family? Or is this a sore point between these two? Nothing hurts more than having your parent praise someone else for having certain skills or qualities and omit that praise from you. How was MB as an employer before this happened? Sometimes it is the mother who is the real advocate for the nanny since she interacts with her more, persuading her spouse to raise the nanny's pay or give a better bonus, add health insurance or other perks, and the father ends up getting the credit. You were never intended to see that email. Don't we all complain about our boss, colleagues and subordinates at one time or another when we are talking to our friends and families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- Weekend family agreed to wait 4 weeks, so I gave a months notice today. Did not specify why I am leaving. MB was angry, DB was sad and said he will write me a glowing reference. I've been babysitting for weekend family for several years, so I know them already and it will be a good fit. Pay increase, more benefits and vacation. Sorry to disappoint the angry nannies on here that called me unprofessional, but I quit very professionally. I can't work for someone who doesn't respect me as a person or value my contribution. Maybe you can, but you'd probably be miserable in your job (hence the reason you come on this board regularly to spew venom and awful comments).

If you were babysitting for the weekend family for years, did they just fire their current nanny to hire you? You'd better hope things work out because you just burnt a bridge with your full-time, five year reference.

Sour grapes?

[Anonymous]

I mean, do what you want because it's your life. But as an employee, have you NEVER blown off your MB/DB in a moment of stress? NEVER said anything that you might be embarrassed they might hear? NEVER complained about them, or underplayed the ways in which they tried to support you?

We're all adults here... we know people have moods and private conversations are supposed to be private. I wouldn't necessarily want to hear what my nanny said about me but if I did, I wouldn't necessarily fire her even if it hurt my feelings. I would try to look at the concrete things: is she doing her job, are my kids happy, does this arrangement make my life easier overall? If yes, then great. In your position I would have possibly quit for the higher salary if other family didn't match, but I would also have tried to negotiate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- Weekend family agreed to wait 4 weeks, so I gave a months notice today. Did not specify why I am leaving. MB was angry, DB was sad and said he will write me a glowing reference. I've been babysitting for weekend family for several years, so I know them already and it will be a good fit. Pay increase, more benefits and vacation. Sorry to disappoint the angry nannies on here that called me unprofessional, but I quit very professionally. I can't work for someone who doesn't respect me as a person or value my contribution. Maybe you can, but you'd probably be miserable in your job (hence the reason you come on this board regularly to spew venom and awful comments).

If you were babysitting for the weekend family for years, did they just fire their current nanny to hire you? You'd better hope things work out because you just burnt a bridge with your full-time, five year reference.

Sour grapes?

No, I am not a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Op here- Not quite sure why there is so much hate for putting myself in a better situation. Did I stomp into work screaming and quitting over an email? No. I calmly gave my notice and did not mention the email. I actually told the family I was moving on because the kids were older and I needed to work more hours (hence my job with the weekend family). I did not burn a bridge and the Dad wrote me a wonderful reference letter yesterday. I gave a months notice.

Weekend family's nanny is moving and they were interviewing. This just kind of fell into place. They have younger children and plan to have more, so long term this is a better fit.

So sorry to disappoint the crazy nannies on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- Not quite sure why there is so much hate for putting myself in a better situation. Did I stomp into work screaming and quitting over an email? No. I calmly gave my notice and did not mention the email. I actually told the family I was moving on because the kids were older and I needed to work more hours (hence my job with the weekend family). I did not burn a bridge and the Dad wrote me a wonderful reference letter yesterday. I gave a months notice.

Weekend family's nanny is moving and they were interviewing. This just kind of fell into place. They have younger children and plan to have more, so long term this is a better fit.

So sorry to disappoint the crazy nannies on this board.

Wow, everything did fall into place all of a sudden. Amazing!

[Anonymous]

He already wrote you a glowing letter, OP, and you still had a month to go? That was super responsive of him. Sounds like everything is just perfect. Congratulations on your good fortune!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- it was pretty obvious it was accidental. They were talking about me. It wasn't awful, but it was just very obvious that my role in the kids life wasn't important to them. I didn't think of myself as part of the family, I just thought they values me. The email was basically meh, they could take it of leave it about me. Don't want to get into specifics in case MB is on here.

How many other MBs are going to send their nanny a negative email about her accidentally. If she's on here she already knows it's you...

This is the first one I've heard about. Most people are careful to check who they are cc'ing on replies.

[Anonymous]

An email is just a snapshot.

I have sent emails to my Mom complaining about how our nanny took vacation days then got sick. Then sick again a month later.

I was under stress at work and being me me me to my own Mom. I didn't really feel angry or pissed at our amazing nanny. I was venting.

Also, moms now give up less than our own moms did so sometimes we want our mom to think we are doing more than we are, which means minimizing the nanny's involvement. I admit that our nanny raises my kids mon-fri, but I have been tempted to take more credit than I'm due in front of my mom.

I would give her a chance to explain, if you like the family and the job.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm so glad things worked out for you. I'm sorry this happened with the other family. It sounds like it was very hurtful. I hope you're happy and secure in your other position. You sound like a wonderful nanny and a good person. Please don't let this experience get you down.

[Anonymous]

OP, great that you could finish things so amicably.

Just wondering though if the MB even acknowledged that you were included in the email chain? Or is she completely unaware that you saw the email? Did Grandma get back to you once she realised her mistake?