Need to vent: my nanny is always sick!

[Anonymous]

We love our nanny but she is sick A LOT. She has a young stepson in daycare and many young nieces and nephews that she spends all her time off with. My toddlers have gotten sick several times this winter and while I can't blame her for all of that I do think it's very likely she's infected them on occasion. She's already used up the five sick days in her contract in only six months. She called out sick yesterday and showed up today saying she wasn't fully recovered, coughing and sneezing. My kids have JUST gotten over their second ear infection of the winter and I really don't want them getting sick again. Just needed to rant, sorry. I wish I had thought to ask her if she had young kids before hiring her, although I'm not even sure that's legal. Just looking for some commiseration.

[Anonymous]

Sorry!

[Anonymous]

Sit down with her and talk about this. If you do a search, you will see that this is a common issue, and sometimes you have to make a change. But, it may also be that if she understands that you can't cover more PTO than you've offered her, she'll stop calling out for every sniffle.

[Anonymous]

Ear infections aren't contagious, so it's not the nanny's fault that your kids have had them.

On the other hand, she's getting sick because her step-son and other relatives are passing on germs.

I can commiserate, but there are also tons of nannies out there who wouldn't be calling in like this.

[Anonymous]

Reason 74 why I won't hire nannies who have young kids/step kids. Totally hypocritical, I realize. But it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

thanks, PPs. I just don't see what sitting down with her will resolve. She's clearly sick and not playing hooky. When she's out, DH and I have to coordinate child care on our own (usually splitting the day). And having her come in when sick means my kids get sick too. So what's the solution? I just wish she wasn't sick so much, but what can I do about that other than hiring someone else right? (which I don't want to do)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reason 74 why I won't hire nannies who have young kids/step kids. Totally hypocritical, I realize. But it is what it is.

So is this something you ask before hiring? Are you even legally allowed to ask that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reason 74 why I won't hire nannies who have young kids/step kids. Totally hypocritical, I realize. But it is what it is.

At least you recognize your hypocrisy. I'm sure you would've raised a huge stink if anyone had suggested you were a less worthy employee because YOU have young kids at home. This nanny sounds unreliable, of course, but not everyone with young kids is. What "it" is is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Not that this helps but I totally understand. Our nanny has been sick a lot too recently and it is getting out of hand. We did sit down with her and stated that she needs to get a flu shot and that we cannot pay her if we have to pay for back-up care. Be prepared for defensiveness but it is what it is - this is a job where you need your nanny to work so you can work!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:thanks, PPs. I just don't see what sitting down with her will resolve. She's clearly sick and not playing hooky. When she's out, DH and I have to coordinate child care on our own (usually splitting the day). And having her come in when sick means my kids get sick too. So what's the solution? I just wish she wasn't sick so much, but what can I do about that other than hiring someone else right? (which I don't want to do)

The solution is reminding her that she has 5 paid sick days which she has used. Hire a couple of backup sitters or a backup service, give your nanny the phone numbers, and let her know that going forward any further sick days are unpaid and that she can arrange her backup after informing you she will be out. Don't stress over it any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reason 74 why I won't hire nannies who have young kids/step kids. Totally hypocritical, I realize. But it is what it is.

At least you recognize your hypocrisy. I'm sure you would've raised a huge stink if anyone had suggested you were a less worthy employee because YOU have young kids at home. This nanny sounds unreliable, of course, but not everyone with young kids is. What "it" is is wrong.

The difference is that my company's function doesn't rely on just me. There are others who can step in and do my job when I am out. Not so with nannies- they are a one-person business. A daycare also doesn't have this problem because there is more than one carer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reason 74 why I won't hire nannies who have young kids/step kids. Totally hypocritical, I realize. But it is what it is.

At least you recognize your hypocrisy. I'm sure you would've raised a huge stink if anyone had suggested you were a less worthy employee because YOU have young kids at home. This nanny sounds unreliable, of course, but not everyone with young kids is. What "it" is is wrong.

The difference is that my company's function doesn't rely on just me. There are others who can step in and do my job when I am out. Not so with nannies- they are a one-person business. A daycare also doesn't have this problem because there is more than one carer.

I understand the "why." It's just frustrating that so many in this country can simultaneously say that childcare workers do such important work, and nannies specifically perform an indispensable function allowing working parents to fully function in their own jobs, and at the same time underpay and fight legislation that would protect us.

Your nanny is one human being. If she's so valuable that you can't afford for her to get sick, providing healthcare is a good start, as is usable time off, and pay that affords and healthy standard of living. It'd also be smart to have contingency plans seeing as how you rely so heavily on this one person. The answer to this problem is NOT discrimination. It never is, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reason 74 why I won't hire nannies who have young kids/step kids. Totally hypocritical, I realize. But it is what it is.

At least you recognize your hypocrisy. I'm sure you would've raised a huge stink if anyone had suggested you were a less worthy employee because YOU have young kids at home. This nanny sounds unreliable, of course, but not everyone with young kids is. What "it" is is wrong.

The difference is that my company's function doesn't rely on just me. There are others who can step in and do my job when I am out. Not so with nannies- they are a one-person business. A daycare also doesn't have this problem because there is more than one carer.

I understand the "why." It's just frustrating that so many in this country can simultaneously say that childcare workers do such important work, and nannies specifically perform an indispensable function allowing working parents to fully function in their own jobs, and at the same time underpay and fight legislation that would protect us.

Your nanny is one human being. If she's so valuable that you can't afford for her to get sick, providing healthcare is a good start, as is usable time off, and pay that affords and healthy standard of living. It'd also be smart to have contingency plans seeing as how you rely so heavily on this one person. The answer to this problem is NOT discrimination. It never is, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

You've rolled up a lot of issues in one. Yes, a nanny is indispensable. But 5 sick days a year is more than I get at my own job- if that's not enough for a worker that's a problem. Additionally, I am going to discriminate based on my experiences and expectations. (Not OP, btw, so don't get mad at her.) I wouldn't hire a nanny with a chronic illness nor one who cannot speak decent English either- why? Because I want to be able to rely on and communicate with my nanny and those things have the POTENTIAL (but not the certainty) to cause problems with those criteria. No different with a nanny with small kids.

Now, wages have nothing to do with this. You think you are underpaid, but being a "nanny" requires no skills, education, certificate or license. Nanny wages are basically in line with-- or higher than-- other unskilled jobs, and, as we all know on this forum, some nannies far exceed those salaries.

As for legislation- I'm not aware of any nor am I fighting any. I do think, however, nannies must be cognizant that should their wages increase dramatically, their opportunities for employment will decrease dramatically unless there is some government subsidy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reason 74 why I won't hire nannies who have young kids/step kids. Totally hypocritical, I realize. But it is what it is.

At least you recognize your hypocrisy. I'm sure you would've raised a huge stink if anyone had suggested you were a less worthy employee because YOU have young kids at home. This nanny sounds unreliable, of course, but not everyone with young kids is. What "it" is is wrong.

The difference is that my company's function doesn't rely on just me. There are others who can step in and do my job when I am out. Not so with nannies- they are a one-person business. A daycare also doesn't have this problem because there is more than one carer.

I understand the "why." It's just frustrating that so many in this country can simultaneously say that childcare workers do such important work, and nannies specifically perform an indispensable function allowing working parents to fully function in their own jobs, and at the same time underpay and fight legislation that would protect us.

Your nanny is one human being. If she's so valuable that you can't afford for her to get sick, providing healthcare is a good start, as is usable time off, and pay that affords and healthy standard of living. It'd also be smart to have contingency plans seeing as how you rely so heavily on this one person. The answer to this problem is NOT discrimination. It never is, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

You've rolled up a lot of issues in one. Yes, a nanny is indispensable. But 5 sick days a year is more than I get at my own job- if that's not enough for a worker that's a problem. Additionally, I am going to discriminate based on my experiences and expectations. (Not OP, btw, so don't get mad at her.) I wouldn't hire a nanny with a chronic illness nor one who cannot speak decent English either- why? Because I want to be able to rely on and communicate with my nanny and those things have the POTENTIAL (but not the certainty) to cause problems with those criteria. No different with a nanny with small kids.

Now, wages have nothing to do with this. You think you are underpaid, but being a "nanny" requires no skills, education, certificate or license. Nanny wages are basically in line with-- or higher than-- other unskilled jobs, and, as we all know on this forum, some nannies far exceed those salaries.

As for legislation- I'm not aware of any nor am I fighting any. I do think, however, nannies must be cognizant that should their wages increase dramatically, their opportunities for employment will decrease dramatically unless there is some government subsidy.

All of the issues are related. People with access to good healthcare, usable rest time away from their jobs, and satisfaction in their jobs get sick less often and do a better job. Nannies on the whole are less likely to have decent healthcare, receive little time off outside of that which is dictated to them by their employers, and it is a constant battle to get any respect for the work that we do.

You want a reliable nanny? Pay her what her skills and the job she is doing is worth. Stop standing behind the "unskilled labor" BS, because you know it isn't true. It is simply undervalued labor because it is the labor or brown women.

Give her a decent amount of vacation and LET HER USE IT. You likely get 4-6 weeks of vacation a year, stop making your nanny share one of her 2 weeks with you, and giving her crap for taking time off. Then maybe she won't use sick days as vacation days.

Offer healthcare and encourage her to use it! If your nanny could afford to go to the doctor and get medication when she was sick, she wouldn't have to rest at home for a week to get better.

Finally, you know you hired a nanny, you know she's going to need time off, and you know you aren't going to like covering her at the last minute. Take a moment to develop a plan, inform your nanny of the plan and what you need to make it work. Need a few hours notice to arrange backup care? Would you prefer she let you know the night before if she can? Can you promise not to give her crap for taking time off so she feels comfortable giving you advanced notice whenever possible?

ALL of these things play into reliability and your ability as an employer to function. You have to recognize your own role in this dynamic and make sure that you're doing what you can to create an environment in which your employee can succeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:thanks, PPs. I just don't see what sitting down with her will resolve. She's clearly sick and not playing hooky. When she's out, DH and I have to coordinate child care on our own (usually splitting the day). And having her come in when sick means my kids get sick too. So what's the solution? I just wish she wasn't sick so much, but what can I do about that other than hiring someone else right? (which I don't want to do)

Then part of this is on you. You don't want her there if she's sick? Even just the sniffles? I get that with a newborn - 3 month-old, but after that, she should just use good hand-washing hygiene and come to work. Otherwise, even if she's got seasonal allergies she won't come in because you can never be sure ...

Most of us (MB here), expect the nanny to do what we do with our own jobs: call out if you can't get out of bed or it's something super contagious and you know you're still contagious. Otherwise, take some Dayquil and power through. The weeklong flus and pneumonias of life should be rare. If they aren't, you may find yourself out of work through no real fault of your own.

Also, as keeps coming up in these threads, if you're someone with a terrible immune system, who catches every bug that comes around, maybe working as a nanny isn't a good fit. You are the sole person in the position and reliability is as important as any other factor, and kids are germ factories.