Need to vent: my nanny is always sick!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:thanks, PPs. I just don't see what sitting down with her will resolve. She's clearly sick and not playing hooky. When she's out, DH and I have to coordinate child care on our own (usually splitting the day). And having her come in when sick means my kids get sick too. So what's the solution? I just wish she wasn't sick so much, but what can I do about that other than hiring someone else right? (which I don't want to do)

The solution is reminding her that she has 5 paid sick days which she has used. Hire a couple of backup sitters or a backup service, give your nanny the phone numbers, and let her know that going forward any further sick days are unpaid and that she can arrange her backup after informing you she will be out. Don't stress over it any more.

Agree, this is common protocol.
Stop stressing and being your nanny's secretary, she should arrange her backup care if she has such frequent issues. Then you need to decide if you consider her "reliable childcare" or not and if you want so many strangers in the house, with your kids, getting up to speed on your appliances/ kids' routines. Yuck.

Is it common protocol for the nanny to help arrange back-up care? We have a nanny who is wonderful, but she takes a lot of personal days (not sick days), typically 1-2 a month so at this point has used up all paid and is taking unpaid days off. She is never sick, but recently started taking sick days because of leg pain she is having. I have asked her if she has a back-up sitter and she has said no, she "does not feel comfortable endorsing someone." Ironic because the way we were first introduced to her is as the back-up sitter for our date night sitter. Anyway, it is a pain to find a back-up sitter that frequently and a lot of times none of our back-ups are free and I end up staying home because I don't want a random stranger watching our infant. I know the nanny knows babysitters among her family and friends and while she ultimately might not find someone she feels comfortable to "endorse" as her back-up, is it fair of me to ask her to TRY? Which she hasn't so far? I feel like with the frequency of her missed days (three in May, at least two planned in June), it should be part her obligation to at least try to help find us back-up care.

This would not be sustainable in my house. Why are you agreeing to all these days off? I'd be looking for someone who can actually work a full time job.

Whats wrong with a nanny that only wants to work 80% of the work days in a given month? Also what's a little leg pain and inability to do her job amongst friends and employers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:thanks, PPs. I just don't see what sitting down with her will resolve. She's clearly sick and not playing hooky. When she's out, DH and I have to coordinate child care on our own (usually splitting the day). And having her come in when sick means my kids get sick too. So what's the solution? I just wish she wasn't sick so much, but what can I do about that other than hiring someone else right? (which I don't want to do)

The solution is reminding her that she has 5 paid sick days which she has used. Hire a couple of backup sitters or a backup service, give your nanny the phone numbers, and let her know that going forward any further sick days are unpaid and that she can arrange her backup after informing you she will be out. Don't stress over it any more.

Agree, this is common protocol.
Stop stressing and being your nanny's secretary, she should arrange her backup care if she has such frequent issues. Then you need to decide if you consider her "reliable childcare" or not and if you want so many strangers in the house, with your kids, getting up to speed on your appliances/ kids' routines. Yuck.

Is it common protocol for the nanny to help arrange back-up care? We have a nanny who is wonderful, but she takes a lot of personal days (not sick days), typically 1-2 a month so at this point has used up all paid and is taking unpaid days off. She is never sick, but recently started taking sick days because of leg pain she is having. I have asked her if she has a back-up sitter and she has said no, she "does not feel comfortable endorsing someone." Ironic because the way we were first introduced to her is as the back-up sitter for our date night sitter. Anyway, it is a pain to find a back-up sitter that frequently and a lot of times none of our back-ups are free and I end up staying home because I don't want a random stranger watching our infant. I know the nanny knows babysitters among her family and friends and while she ultimately might not find someone she feels comfortable to "endorse" as her back-up, is it fair of me to ask her to TRY? Which she hasn't so far? I feel like with the frequency of her missed days (three in May, at least two planned in June), it should be part her obligation to at least try to help find us back-up care.

This would not be sustainable in my house. Why are you agreeing to all these days off? I'd be looking for someone who can actually work a full time job.

The nanny has always taken personal days for compelling reasons, such as a death or hospitalization of a family member, and previously, it would be one day a month. But lately, the days off have ramped up because of issues in her immediate family - husband had a mild heart attack a few weeks ago and her son's planned knee surgery, is coming up and as he's a minor, she has to attend all of his doctor visits, then the leg pain, which left her unable to walk, just happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:thanks, PPs. I just don't see what sitting down with her will resolve. She's clearly sick and not playing hooky. When she's out, DH and I have to coordinate child care on our own (usually splitting the day). And having her come in when sick means my kids get sick too. So what's the solution? I just wish she wasn't sick so much, but what can I do about that other than hiring someone else right? (which I don't want to do)

The solution is reminding her that she has 5 paid sick days which she has used. Hire a couple of backup sitters or a backup service, give your nanny the phone numbers, and let her know that going forward any further sick days are unpaid and that she can arrange her backup after informing you she will be out. Don't stress over it any more.

Agree, this is common protocol.
Stop stressing and being your nanny's secretary, she should arrange her backup care if she has such frequent issues. Then you need to decide if you consider her "reliable childcare" or not and if you want so many strangers in the house, with your kids, getting up to speed on your appliances/ kids' routines. Yuck.

Is it common protocol for the nanny to help arrange back-up care? We have a nanny who is wonderful, but she takes a lot of personal days (not sick days), typically 1-2 a month so at this point has used up all paid and is taking unpaid days off. She is never sick, but recently started taking sick days because of leg pain she is having. I have asked her if she has a back-up sitter and she has said no, she "does not feel comfortable endorsing someone." Ironic because the way we were first introduced to her is as the back-up sitter for our date night sitter. Anyway, it is a pain to find a back-up sitter that frequently and a lot of times none of our back-ups are free and I end up staying home because I don't want a random stranger watching our infant. I know the nanny knows babysitters among her family and friends and while she ultimately might not find someone she feels comfortable to "endorse" as her back-up, is it fair of me to ask her to TRY? Which she hasn't so far? I feel like with the frequency of her missed days (three in May, at least two planned in June), it should be part her obligation to at least try to help find us back-up care.

This would not be sustainable in my house. Why are you agreeing to all these days off? I'd be looking for someone who can actually work a full time job.

The nanny has always taken personal days for compelling reasons, such as a death or hospitalization of a family member, and previously, it would be one day a month. But lately, the days off have ramped up because of issues in her immediate family - husband had a mild heart attack a few weeks ago and her son's planned knee surgery, is coming up and as he's a minor, she has to attend all of his doctor visits, then the leg pain, which left her unable to walk, just happened.

SUcks OP, you are stuck with her now I guess. Hope she quits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:thanks, PPs. I just don't see what sitting down with her will resolve. She's clearly sick and not playing hooky. When she's out, DH and I have to coordinate child care on our own (usually splitting the day). And having her come in when sick means my kids get sick too. So what's the solution? I just wish she wasn't sick so much, but what can I do about that other than hiring someone else right? (which I don't want to do)

The solution is reminding her that she has 5 paid sick days which she has used. Hire a couple of backup sitters or a backup service, give your nanny the phone numbers, and let her know that going forward any further sick days are unpaid and that she can arrange her backup after informing you she will be out. Don't stress over it any more.

Agree, this is common protocol.
Stop stressing and being your nanny's secretary, she should arrange her backup care if she has such frequent issues. Then you need to decide if you consider her "reliable childcare" or not and if you want so many strangers in the house, with your kids, getting up to speed on your appliances/ kids' routines. Yuck.

Is it common protocol for the nanny to help arrange back-up care? We have a nanny who is wonderful, but she takes a lot of personal days (not sick days), typically 1-2 a month so at this point has used up all paid and is taking unpaid days off. She is never sick, but recently started taking sick days because of leg pain she is having. I have asked her if she has a back-up sitter and she has said no, she "does not feel comfortable endorsing someone." Ironic because the way we were first introduced to her is as the back-up sitter for our date night sitter. Anyway, it is a pain to find a back-up sitter that frequently and a lot of times none of our back-ups are free and I end up staying home because I don't want a random stranger watching our infant. I know the nanny knows babysitters among her family and friends and while she ultimately might not find someone she feels comfortable to "endorse" as her back-up, is it fair of me to ask her to TRY? Which she hasn't so far? I feel like with the frequency of her missed days (three in May, at least two planned in June), it should be part her obligation to at least try to help find us back-up care.

This would not be sustainable in my house. Why are you agreeing to all these days off? I'd be looking for someone who can actually work a full time job.

The nanny has always taken personal days for compelling reasons, such as a death or hospitalization of a family member, and previously, it would be one day a month. But lately, the days off have ramped up because of issues in her immediate family - husband had a mild heart attack a few weeks ago and her son's planned knee surgery, is coming up and as he's a minor, she has to attend all of his doctor visits, then the leg pain, which left her unable to walk, just happened.

In a similar situation, I have offered my nanny the possibility of going to part time, with the understanding that I would hire someone else for the other days, so there was no guarantee of a full time job sometime down the road. As part of this discussion, I sympathized with her position, but also explained that we couldn't manage all the time off.

[Anonymous]

To the lady that posted this issue, I have exactly the same problem and feel your pain. The people on this blog who are complaining have no idea what they are talking about and at likely don’t have to deal with the same issue.

I say just keep calm and move on, that’s what I do in my current situation. Every day is a battle and some battles are lost. I keep my son at home so that he doesn’t get sick from
other kids at daycare. We have no family or friends to help us in case there is an issue so we have to be smart about it. Unfortunately our strategy is backfiring a bit because our nanny has chronic illness issues which she did not disclose when she was hired (as can be expected). Not sure what to do except for hoping for the best.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny. I would definitely let go any nanny who was sick this often for any reason. It’s tragic that she has had so many issues but she needs to show up for work.

Let her go, OP. Any other company or business would.