Nanny just quit over text

[Anonymous]

I just need to vent so I can be calm and positive when I respond. We hired a nanny 3 months ago through an agency (our first time using one) and she committed to a year. Recently she told us she needed to take unplanned time off to help a family member so we agreed to hold the job open and try and find a temp while she was gone. We only had a week's notice (she told us on Monday that Thursday of that week was her last day for some period of time) but we tried to be understanding given that life happens and we wanted to support her. We've been scrambling in the meantime trying to cover the hours and give her the time she needs. It's been a few weeks and I hadn't heard from her so I checked in yesterday. She just texted me back that she's quitting. I get it people have lives and I certainly don't expect anyone to put my family above their own, but it would have been nice to know this several weeks ago so we could have just started looking for a replacement and not been in limbo. Also, I think it's really unprofessional and not courteous to quit via text. I know this is DCUM so people will jump in and say we're shitty employers and that's why she's leaving but that's not the case. We pay a good rate, we're always on time coming home, give lots of vacation and paid sick leave, do small "gifts" here and there and always express how much we appreciate our nannies. Before this we've always had long term relationships of 2+ years and we're still in contact with our former nannies even though we've moved out of state. I'm so steamed about it and more annoyed that I feel like she took advantage of our goodwill in holding the job open. We specifically asked if she was coming back and assured her we would make something work in the meantime so she wouldn't come back to being without a job and a source of income. I feel like a total idiot and now we're starting from scratch... Thanks for letting me vent. There's obviously no use in being rude so I'm planning to acknowledge the message, wish her the best and move on, but I needed to just get this out.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

18:30 here. I think it's critically important to maintain regular meetings between both parents and the nanny. This is where I see most parents failing. From my perspective, if they don't care enough to make the time, what can I do but move on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18:30 here. I think it's critically important to maintain regular meetings between both parents and the nanny. This is where I see most parents failing. From my perspective, if they don't care enough to make the time, what can I do but move on?

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I feel awful for you all! You were more than fair and she should have appreciated that, not left you in a lurch after you had clearly accommodated her needs. Nannies who display behavior like she did give the good ones a bad name. Even if you were the worst bosses ever (clearly not the case), then she should have at least sat down with you, given notice and explained her reason for quitting, rather than leaving you scrambling for temp care and then quitting anyway. I feel for you and wish you luck in finding another nanny that more resembles the other nannies that you had before her.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, OP. You hired a bad nanny.

[Anonymous]

Yeah that sucks. If I were you I'd call the agency and ask what they can do to help you. I hope you find someone good very soon.

[Anonymous]

The agency should cover this for you, for sure.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 22.18 about contacting the agency, as most of them have guarantees, and as long as you can show that she effectively quit a while ago, you're definitely within the window.

As for the unprofessional attitude, manner of quitting and so on, you need to address it with the agency. Make sure that they screen for nannies who have been with the same family for at least 2 years (barring circumstances where the family terminated earlier due to moving or other significant changes and then you would want to see at least one year), and let them know how disappointed you are with the way she handled the situation. The is no reason for her to do something similar to another family later, especially through the same agency.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks all. I did contact the agency and their basic response was "oh well, we can't control what people do." Sure that's true but geez, I would think there would be a higher expectation of professionalism given that we paid some hefty fees. We've found a temp on our own in the meantime (agency still hadn't found us anyone on the Sunday before we needed someone on a Monday so I reached out to a recommendation from another mom). That's how we've always found people in the past and the only reason I used an agency this time is because we moved to an area where we don't have any contacts or family backup so I thought it was more of a guarantee. So far they've sent us someone who worked 3 months and quit over text, a temp person who took the job on a Friday and quit Saturday with a nice note saying she had been offered a full time job at $25/hr -she's still babysitting occasionally for us so I know it wasn't an issue with us or the kids - and they haven't been able to find a regular replacement for the past three weeks. Going from having the same caregivers for years to cycling through several within a matter of weeks, I'm really frustrated and have definitely learned a lesson about the fact that an agency is *not* better than doing it on our own. I wish we could just get our money back and move on. This whole thing has left such a bad taste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks all. I did contact the agency and their basic response was "oh well, we can't control what people do." Sure that's true but geez, I would think there would be a higher expectation of professionalism given that we paid some hefty fees. We've found a temp on our own in the meantime (agency still hadn't found us anyone on the Sunday before we needed someone on a Monday so I reached out to a recommendation from another mom). That's how we've always found people in the past and the only reason I used an agency this time is because we moved to an area where we don't have any contacts or family backup so I thought it was more of a guarantee. So far they've sent us someone who worked 3 months and quit over text, a temp person who took the job on a Friday and quit Saturday with a nice note saying she had been offered a full time job at $25/hr -she's still babysitting occasionally for us so I know it wasn't an issue with us or the kids - and they haven't been able to find a regular replacement for the past three weeks. Going from having the same caregivers for years to cycling through several within a matter of weeks, I'm really frustrated and have definitely learned a lesson about the fact that an agency is *not* better than doing it on our own. I wish we could just get our money back and move on. This whole thing has left such a bad taste.

You should *really* mention which agency. You might find them changing their tune.

[Anonymous]

I would but they're not in the DC area so I don't think it would help

[Anonymous]

Nannies get fired all the time by text messages. No notice, no warning, no chance to say good-bye to the children. It sucks but this is the nanny/employer relationship today. Even if you are a great employer, the nanny has known enough bad ones to not give you the benefit of the doubt.

[Anonymous]

This is stupid rationale pp. just because someone has acted poorly in the past doesn't give you the right to turn around and screw a completely different family. What your nanny did was wrong and very inconsiderate.

[Anonymous]

My agency in Atlanta offers a one-year guarantee. They prorate their fees if the nanny leaves in less than a year. If there are any other agencies in your area, I would look into them.