Nanny just quit over text

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is stupid rationale pp. just because someone has acted poorly in the past doesn't give you the right to turn around and screw a completely different family. What your nanny did was wrong and very inconsiderate.

PP here and I agree. However, this is how people react to constantly being treated poorly - they treat other people poorly. Respect and consideration begets respect and consideration.

I know I will never again be as flexible, respectful or accommodating to any employer as I was with my first employer.

[Anonymous]

Nanny always always used "my family member is sick" to quit the job. Why cant they tell the truth?

I'm in San Diego and we had American nanny to care for our daughter. She is very nice and very good <-- only for the first and second month. On the third month she always come late always come up with something and one day she want to borrow money from us because of her "family problem". We gave her 1K (yes not much but hey its still MONEY). After that she disappear. We call her many times - NADA. We call her husband and he threatened to make police report saying we harassing his wife. What?? so we do the police report to protect our self. So be careful people some nanny is CRAZY and dangerous!

[Anonymous]

Not an excuse pp. This family was obviously very accommodating for their nanny, holding the job for her and not just firing her when she left with less than a week's notice. Even if she'd had bad experiences before- which we don't know but you're assuming - clearly OP was not in the category of employers trying to screw their nannies. This is also why nannies get a bad name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny always always used "my family member is sick" to quit the job. Why cant they tell the truth?

I'm in San Diego and we had American nanny to care for our daughter. She is very nice and very good <-- only for the first and second month. On the third month she always come late always come up with something and one day she want to borrow money from us because of her "family problem". We gave her 1K (yes not much but hey its still MONEY). After that she disappear. We call her many times - NADA. We call her husband and he threatened to make police report saying we harassing his wife. What?? so we do the police report to protect our self. So be careful people some nanny is CRAZY and dangerous!

Your English is atrocious so I seriously doubt an American nanny would have worked for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny always always used "my family member is sick" to quit the job. Why cant they tell the truth?

I'm in San Diego and we had American nanny to care for our daughter. She is very nice and very good <-- only for the first and second month. On the third month she always come late always come up with something and one day she want to borrow money from us because of her "family problem". We gave her 1K (yes not much but hey its still MONEY). After that she disappear. We call her many times - NADA. We call her husband and he threatened to make police report saying we harassing his wife. What?? so we do the police report to protect our self. So be careful people some nanny is CRAZY and dangerous!

Your English is atrocious so I seriously doubt an American nanny would have worked for you.

I wouldn't work for her. English proficiency is something I won't skimp on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just need to vent so I can be calm and positive when I respond. We hired a nanny 3 months ago through an agency (our first time using one) and she committed to a year. Recently she told us she needed to take unplanned time off to help a family member so we agreed to hold the job open and try and find a temp while she was gone. We only had a week's notice (she told us on Monday that Thursday of that week was her last day for some period of time) but we tried to be understanding given that life happens and we wanted to support her. We've been scrambling in the meantime trying to cover the hours and give her the time she needs. It's been a few weeks and I hadn't heard from her so I checked in yesterday. She just texted me back that she's quitting. I get it people have lives and I certainly don't expect anyone to put my family above their own, but it would have been nice to know this several weeks ago so we could have just started looking for a replacement and not been in limbo. Also, I think it's really unprofessional and not courteous to quit via text. I know this is DCUM so people will jump in and say we're shitty employers and that's why she's leaving but that's not the case. We pay a good rate, we're always on time coming home, give lots of vacation and paid sick leave, do small "gifts" here and there and always express how much we appreciate our nannies. Before this we've always had long term relationships of 2+ years and we're still in contact with our former nannies even though we've moved out of state. I'm so steamed about it and more annoyed that I feel like she took advantage of our goodwill in holding the job open. We specifically asked if she was coming back and assured her we would make something work in the meantime so she wouldn't come back to being without a job and a source of income. I feel like a total idiot and now we're starting from scratch... Thanks for letting me vent. There's obviously no use in being rude so I'm planning to acknowledge the message, wish her the best and move on, but I needed to just get this out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just need to vent so I can be calm and positive when I respond. We hired a nanny 3 months ago through an agency (our first time using one) and she committed to a year. Recently she told us she needed to take unplanned time off to help a family member so we agreed to hold the job open and try and find a temp while she was gone. We only had a week's notice (she told us on Monday that Thursday of that week was her last day for some period of time) but we tried to be understanding given that life happens and we wanted to support her. We've been scrambling in the meantime trying to cover the hours and give her the time she needs. It's been a few weeks and I hadn't heard from her so I checked in yesterday. She just texted me back that she's quitting. I get it people have lives and I certainly don't expect anyone to put my family above their own, but it would have been nice to know this several weeks ago so we could have just started looking for a replacement and not been in limbo. Also, I think it's really unprofessional and not courteous to quit via text. I know this is DCUM so people will jump in and say we're shitty employers and that's why she's leaving but that's not the case. We pay a good rate, we're always on time coming home, give lots of vacation and paid sick leave, do small "gifts" here and there and always express how much we appreciate our nannies. Before this we've always had long term relationships of 2+ years and we're still in contact with our former nannies even though we've moved out of state. I'm so steamed about it and more annoyed that I feel like she took advantage of our goodwill in holding the job open. We specifically asked if she was coming back and assured her we would make something work in the meantime so she wouldn't come back to being without a job and a source of income. I feel like a total idiot and now we're starting from scratch... Thanks for letting me vent. There's obviously no use in being rude so I'm planning to acknowledge the message, wish her the best and move on, but I needed to just get this out.

You seam to me good people,I hope I find one nice family like you .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny always always used "my family member is sick" to quit the job. Why cant they tell the truth?

I'm in San Diego and we had American nanny to care for our daughter. She is very nice and very good <-- only for the first and second month. On the third month she always come late always come up with something and one day she want to borrow money from us because of her "family problem". We gave her 1K (yes not much but hey its still MONEY). After that she disappear. We call her many times - NADA. We call her husband and he threatened to make police report saying we harassing his wife. What?? so we do the police report to protect our self. So be careful people some nanny is CRAZY and dangerous!

Your English is atrocious so I seriously doubt an American nanny would have worked for you.

We hire American nanny so that she can teach our kids a good English. We immigrants (not South America) have lots of money and we can afford to have American nanny.

[Anonymous]

She was most likely telling a white lie about a family member needing help, and really was just not feeling the job and looking for an out. You sound like a decent employer, but there are so many other things that may put a nanny off. Biggest one - how well are your kids behaved? I'm at the point in my career where I've accepted the fact that I'm not able or willing to "fix" anyone's family, so if I'm unfortunate enough to land some chronically misbehaving kids, I'm out of there. Are the hours too long? Do you or your spouse ever intrude (unintentionally) on Nanny's job? There are any number of things that could have caused her to quite.

Of course, there is the possibility that she really did have a sort of family emergency and for some reason just needed to quit.

The text thing is pretty lousy, but not really a big deal. It's pretty common these days.

[Anonymous]

I don't mean to be rude or anything of the kind and I understand what your nanny did to you was not fair but I just can't understand how families do that to nannies all the freaking time and it is ok but when a nanny does it is the end of the world..

[Anonymous]

OP, I am a nanny and from my point of view, you sound like an awesome employer who hired a nanny with a horrible work ethic. It is HER, not your fault.

You are right, you did everything you could to accommodate her needs and she ended up burning you.
No one on here can fault you.

I am so glad you had us to vent to. Sometimes just getting things off your chest is a good way to rid yourself of toxic thoughts.

I would contact the agency that sent you her and ask them for a much better replacement for NO cost. Also, I wouldn't hesitate to write them a bad review on Yelp.

Keeping my fingers crossed the next nanny is much more responsible and reliable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny always always used "my family member is sick" to quit the job. Why cant they tell the truth?

I'm in San Diego and we had American nanny to care for our daughter. She is very nice and very good <-- only for the first and second month. On the third month she always come late always come up with something and one day she want to borrow money from us because of her "family problem". We gave her 1K (yes not much but hey its still MONEY). After that she disappear. We call her many times - NADA. We call her husband and he threatened to make police report saying we harassing his wife. What?? so we do the police report to protect our self. So be careful people some nanny is CRAZY and dangerous!

Yikes PP!!

I also reside in San Diego and would like to know where you found this nanny since I don't want to make any mistakes and run into her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean to be rude or anything of the kind and I understand what your nanny did to you was not fair but I just can't understand how families do that to nannies all the freaking time and it is ok but when a nanny does it is the end of the world..

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

OP here - 13:40 and PP who said the same thing, I don't think "I got screwed so I'm going to screw someone else" is a good rationale or a reasonable thing to do as an adult. Of course it's not the "end of the world" but yes, it has meant a lot of disruption for our family and my children specifically over the past three weeks while we struggled to accommodate the sudden leave and hold the job open for her. If she wanted to leave for whatever reason, I would have rather she told us upfront and given us some reasonable notice. I would certainly do the same if roles were reversed and I've never been one to end the relationship suddenly (although I know of course there are families that do). I always see nannies wanting to be treated like professionals and that's how I approach the job but this type of behavior is anything but. I've had some pretty bad jobs myself and I've never quit over text or left my employer completely in the lurch. I think what's most upsetting is that she didn't even say goodbye to the kids who have been asking about her. To answer another PP, no my kids aren't hellions who send people running for the hills. They're kids of course so they have their moments like anyone but our previous nannies and any babysitters we have always comment on how sweet and generally pleasant they are. I'm not sure how to screen for this type of thing in the future since it's never been an issue but from this board it sounds like it's not so uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - 13:40 and PP who said the same thing, I don't think "I got screwed so I'm going to screw someone else" is a good rationale or a reasonable thing to do as an adult. Of course it's not the "end of the world" but yes, it has meant a lot of disruption for our family and my children specifically over the past three weeks while we struggled to accommodate the sudden leave and hold the job open for her. If she wanted to leave for whatever reason, I would have rather she told us upfront and given us some reasonable notice. I would certainly do the same if roles were reversed and I've never been one to end the relationship suddenly (although I know of course there are families that do). I always see nannies wanting to be treated like professionals and that's how I approach the job but this type of behavior is anything but. I've had some pretty bad jobs myself and I've never quit over text or left my employer completely in the lurch. I think what's most upsetting is that she didn't even say goodbye to the kids who have been asking about her. To answer another PP, no my kids aren't hellions who send people running for the hills. They're kids of course so they have their moments like anyone but our previous nannies and any babysitters we have always comment on how sweet and generally pleasant they are. I'm not sure how to screen for this type of thing in the future since it's never been an issue but from this board it sounds like it's not so uncommon.

With professionals, it's very uncommon. With someone who considers it just a temporary thing, it's quite common.