Touchy topic and how to address

[Anonymous]

I am a member of an old-school christian religion that is well-known for espousing some backwards beliefs about gay marriage, etc. I don't share those beliefs, but this is the faith I was raised in and I find a lot of meaning in the community and connect to other aspects of the religion.

In a few months I was going to start a job with family A, which is a gay couple. I absolutely love the two of them, really hit it off in the interview and was thrilled to work with them. They happen to be friends with my current employers (family B).

So last weekend families A and B went out for drinks and afterwards MB from family B sort of apologized and said that they were discussing me (she is trying to persuade them to hire me long term, since their schedule would allow me to do date-night sitting for her ( ) and she mentioned something about my church and family A asked about my religion and she told him. According to MB he expressed concern that I wouldn't be "okay with" their marriage/them and she reassured him that it wouldn't be a problem, and pointed out that I have been respectful and interested in her religion (hindu).

A few days later I emailed both dads from family about an unrelated matter. They normally get back to me very quickly on emails, but it's been several days and no word. I am concerned that they are now convinced I am a homophobe and want to end things. In all honesty, I was thrilled to work for them, but I know that it is my choice to align myself with a group that has this reputation and if that is not something they can deal with, then I'm fine with that; I want rhem to be happy to work with me, not just honor our contract out of obligation. But I'm not sure whether I should attempt to address this or just wait it out. I don't start with them for 2 months so there's a little time before I would be pressed to find another job (and I have another family that literally has begged me to blow off family B and come work for them, so I'm not too concerned about being unemployed)
Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Just email them again and say that you're concerned about the lack of communication, and you're looking forward to working with them, but if something has changed on their end to please let you know.

Honestly everything about this post feels very weird. Aside from the whole religion, gay couple thing, it seems really odd to me that your current MB would go out with your future DBs for drinks at all, and especially more weird since her motivation was "to persuade them to hire [you] long term" for her own date night needs: 1. Wouldn't most nanny jobs still allow you to pick up the occasional Friday or Saturday night with another family anyway? 2. Is the job with the gay couple temporary? Why would she need to convince them to hire you long term? Isn't that their intention anyway, and if not, why would you take a short term position since your services are apparently in such high demand?

Troll? I don't know....very odd to say the least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just email them again and say that you're concerned about the lack of communication, and you're looking forward to working with them, but if something has changed on their end to please let you know.

Honestly everything about this post feels very weird. Aside from the whole religion, gay couple thing, it seems really odd to me that your current MB would go out with your future DBs for drinks at all, and especially more weird since her motivation was "to persuade them to hire [you] long term" for her own date night needs: 1. Wouldn't most nanny jobs still allow you to pick up the occasional Friday or Saturday night with another family anyway? 2. Is the job with the gay couple temporary? Why would she need to convince them to hire you long term? Isn't that their intention anyway, and if not, why would you take a short term position since your services are apparently in such high demand?

Troll? I don't know....very odd to say the least.

She and one of the dads are friends.

She and her husband prefer Wednesday nights as they both have that day off, and this job would allow for that.

It is a newborn only job, which I accepted since I haven't had as much experience with newborn twins; I have lots of long-term offers, but was looking forward to working with brand new newborn twins again to boost my resume. Never hurts to get more specialized experience. They had expressed an interest in maybe having me longer term after originally planning to have an au pair they reconsidered and were looking at hiring a nanny. Current MB was stoked that her beloved longterm nanny would a) be in the area (I was considering moving), b) be working for a friend and c) be working a schedule that allows for their unusual wednesday afternoon date "nights," so she thought she would try to tip the scales.

[Anonymous]

Still doesn't fully make sense. If they need newborn care, they could never have been considering an au pair because au pairs are not allowed to care for infants under 3 months of age. Anyway, if your MB is apparently so close with them you should ask her to inquire with them on your behalf, especially since she was the one who brought up your religion with them in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still doesn't fully make sense. If they need newborn care, they could never have been considering an au pair because au pairs are not allowed to care for infants under 3 months of age. Anyway, if your MB is apparently so close with them you should ask her to inquire with them on your behalf, especially since she was the one who brought up your religion with them in the first place.

Which is why they hired me for the first three months, and were planning to transition to an AP at that time. They are now waffling as they have realized they might not want an AP until the kids are much older and have expressed interested in my working with them longer term, which would work for me. My goal was to get another 3 months of newborn twin experience under my belt and then market myself to families with newborn twins.

[Anonymous]

Why in the world would you ever make your religion known to any employer?! My religion has never come up in any discussion I have ever had with my employers - ever.

Personally, I would have a hard time having a nanny who belonged to and supported such a church for any reason once I knew. The last think I would want was that kind of bigoted influence on my children even though I am straight.

[Anonymous]

Your employer should never ask nor even know your religion. Act like more of a professional and this kind of thing will not happen in the future.

[Anonymous]

Our present MB torpedoed you. She had no right to do this and you should tell her so. The job is lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your employer should never ask nor even know your religion. Act like more of a professional and this kind of thing will not happen in the future.

Np here. Every employer I've had has asked me at some point about my religion. Sometimes it's in the interview and sometimes its 6 months in. I personallly answer the question when asked. I've never once told a mb or db that I'm not comfortable answering any question. I simply answer honestly.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't hire you either. Birds like a feather.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your employer should never ask nor even know your religion. Act like more of a professional and this kind of thing will not happen in the future.

Np here. Every employer I've had has asked me at some point about my religion. Sometimes it's in the interview and sometimes its 6 months in. I personallly answer the question when asked. I've never once told a mb or db that I'm not comfortable answering any question. I simply answer honestly.

Please know your employers are breaking the law in asking you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't hire you either. Birds like a feather.

+1 Most certainly I would never hire you as a nanny or sitter for my young children.

[Anonymous]

Would you hire someone who belonged to the KKK (even if just for their bake sales) to care for your African American children? Or any child for that matter?

I, too, think you are a troll trying to prove some ridiculous and misguided understanding about "tolerance".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your employer should never ask nor even know your religion. Act like more of a professional and this kind of thing will not happen in the future.

Np here. Every employer I've had has asked me at some point about my religion. Sometimes it's in the interview and sometimes its 6 months in. I personallly answer the question when asked. I've never once told a mb or db that I'm not comfortable answering any question. I simply answer honestly.

Please know your employers are breaking the law in asking you.

They are not. Some people actually are friendly and not bitter and get more casual with people they work with. If you and your boss go out drinking and end up talking about religion and you tell him you are Jewish because he inquired no one has broken any laws. That is how these things happen. Now, if the CEO of the company pops into your office after flying in from overseas and ask you "Your Jewish right?" and then you get fired, someone might have broken a law.

[Anonymous]

What exactly is the point of belonging to a religion that asks you to believe certain unprovable things if you are going to cherry pick the things you believe and the things you don't?