Nineteen-month-old male charge like to play with a baby doll at the library playroom.

[Anonymous]

He is adorable. He picks up this small baby doll in the library playroom and "shows" it things. He gives it kisses. All totally normal and developmentally on track if not a little early.

However, I made the huge mistake of mentioning that my charge like to play with the baby doll to his father. He was clearly unhappy and asked that I discourage this behavior.

This is the first time I have refused to comply with something my charge's parents asked me to do. I told the father that I was not comfortable restricting what his son could play with, explained that it was healthy and empathetic behavior for a child so young, and that it would make his son unhappy. Again, the father said something like, "I don't want him playing with dolls".

It is not something I want to make into a bigger issue by talking to the mother about it. But the bottom line, for me, is that I am not going to NOT allow my charge to play with the damn doll. If I get fired for it, so be it. I am not going to lie but I am also not going to mention it again. I'm just going to let him keep playing with the doll at the library playroom.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I would follow my DBs explicit instructions and not let my charge play with the doll. It is not your child and you have an obligation to raise the child in the way that his parents - not you - see fit.

I hope the father shows up unexpectedly at the library and fires you on the spot.

[Anonymous]

Your DB is a jerk. I wouldn't follow his instructions either.

[Anonymous]

Wow...His father sounds homophobic to me. And very old-fashioned.

I do not agree with his view on this. If they want to, young boys should be allowed to play with baby dolls and baby strollers too. Why? Because caring for babies is not something that only little girls should pretend to do.

Boys will grow up into men who need to learn how to be great fathers. Why should little girls only be the ones allowed to play being a parent....??! Parenting works both ways for both genders.

However, that being said...Since the father specifically instructed you to not allow his son to play with dolls and was 100% serious in telling you this, as his employee you are obligated to do as you are told. Technically he is your boss and he is the one who gives you a paycheck so in spite of your personal feelings about this, you are obligated to comply with his wishes or seek a new position.

While I highly disagree with his personal view on boys playing with dolls, as his employee I would do as instructed for the sake of my job integrity.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

This is something I would talk to your MB about. You don't have to make it a big deal - just mention DB's request. As a mother, this nonsense is something I would definitely want to know about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DB is a jerk. I wouldn't follow his instructions either.

Amen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is something I would talk to your MB about. You don't have to make it a big deal - just mention DB's request. As a mother, this nonsense is something I would definitely want to know about.

My DH can be a real ass sometimes about stuff like this with our boys. Yes, as your MB I would want to know if my husband told you something ridiculous like this.

Tell your MB - you don't have to make it a big deal but definitely mention it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DB is a jerk. I wouldn't follow his instructions either.

Amen!

+2 Do you really think he would fire you if he found out you let his son play with a doll? Some requests are simply too stupid to even try to follow.

[Anonymous]

my DB many years ago wouldnt let his son wear his sisters headband when he was 2, or read him a Madeline book of his sisters when he was 3 or 4 because it was a girls book.
Now many years have passed and guess who is gay! The DD, not the DS.

I still laugh about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would follow my DBs explicit instructions and not let my charge play with the doll. It is not your child and you have an obligation to raise the child in the way that his parents - not you - see fit.

I hope the father shows up unexpectedly at the library and fires you on the spot.

Who are you to make such a ridiculous recommendation?
a) A control freak mother
b) An ignorant babysitter

Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Do as you are told. He's not asking you to spank the child for playing with dolls, just don't let him play with the dolls, it's really simple. If you want to make the choices then have your own children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do as you are told. He's not asking you to spank the child for playing with dolls, just don't let him play with the dolls, it's really simple. If you want to make the choices then have your own children.

Control freak parents need to raise their own kids. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my DB many years ago wouldnt let his son wear his sisters headband when he was 2, or read him a Madeline book of his sisters when he was 3 or 4 because it was a girls book.
Now many years have passed and guess who is gay! The DD, not the DS.

I still laugh about this.

When would your laugh how awful for that family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would follow my DBs explicit instructions and not let my charge play with the doll. It is not your child and you have an obligation to raise the child in the way that his parents - not you - see fit.

I hope the father shows up unexpectedly at the library and fires you on the spot.

I totally agree with this. They might have a friend or neighbor that goes to the library.

[Anonymous]

It is a ridiculous request. I would talk to MB and express how unnatural it is to take an age-appropriate toy away from a toddler.

What does the father want you to do? Not go to the library or remove the doll from your charge's hand every time you go into the library playroom?