How to pull back emotionally?

[Anonymous]

I am way too devoted to my charge. I just need to pull back emotionally a bit and don't know how to do it. I honestly get teary-eyed when I think that I may have to leave this job (I need more hours and I'm getting worn down by my MB).

I was a preschool teacher for many years, but this is my first long-tern nanny position. My charge is 18 months old and I have been with him since his birth.

[Anonymous]

Get another part-time or weekend nanny gig, OP, and you'll find how easy it is to love another child. You'll also get a better idea of how bad your MB really is in comparison.


All great nannies are devoted to their charges and love them -- it is one of the things that makes a great nanny.

[Anonymous]

The selfish mother should be ashamed of herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get another part-time or weekend nanny gig, OP, and you'll find how easy it is to love another child. You'll also get a better idea of how bad your MB really is in comparison.


All great nannies are devoted to their charges and love them -- it is one of the things that makes a great nanny.

I'm an MB and I think this is great advice.

I'm sure you will love all the kids you work with, and I think this is probably one of the toughest things about being a nanny. It reflects well on you, in that you care and are attached, but if you're going to be a nanny for some period of time I imagine it's something you'll need to learn to manage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am way too devoted to my charge. I just need to pull back emotionally a bit and don't know how to do it. I honestly get teary-eyed when I think that I may have to leave this job (I need more hours and I'm getting worn down by my MB).

I was a preschool teacher for many years, but this is my first long-tern nanny position. My charge is 18 months old and I have been with him since his birth.

Our nanny was with our son from birth to 3yrs old. He is now 6. She is still a big part of our lives. She comes over for dinner, parties, to babysit, or simply to hang out. She is very attached to our son and there is not reason for her to leave his life.

She'll call on a Tuesday night and ask if she can swing by and visit and tell me to go run an errand. HELLO! Um, you don't have to ask twice!

[Anonymous]

If you are truly sure you need to leave this position OP, then I feel for you.

You have established a loving bond w/this child for the past year and a half.

Is there any way the family can offer you more hours? Or could you get a part-time position to supplement your current one?

Regarding your Mom Boss, is there any way you can talk to her directly + figure out a way this can work?

If all bets are off the table, then you have no choice. You can always ask the parent(s) if they would be willing to have you baby-sit him on occasion, maybe for a "date night" or....??

I get very sad when I have to leave my charges as well. However, speaking from genuine experience I can state that w/the passage of time (and hopefully a new job!), your feelings will dissipate. Your former charge will always have a special place in your heart, but you will move on in time.

Good luck, hope this offers some good insight into your situation.

[Anonymous]

good fences make good neighbors. This applies to emotional fences as well.

[Anonymous]

You are dedicated and devoted to your charge because you are a good nanny, OP. Your MB is damn lucky to have found you and I am sorry she is not appreciative of your work.

You've gotten some good advice here -- especially about finding another part-time job if for nothing else but comparison.

Good luck and know that many, many MBs would love a nanny who felt she might be too devoted to her child.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, get a second job for awhile. See how it pans out. Your MB may not be as bad as you think or she may be worst than you think -- you'll need something to compare her to.

But you cannot stop loving a child or being devoted to his welfare and happiness. It just doesn't work that way.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it might be best of you looked at a part-time nanny job, OP. See what else is out there without leaving your charge just now.

I understand that your MB is wearing you down - is there anything you can do to help the situation? Talk to her maybe?

[Anonymous]

Remember that if you left him tomorrow, your charge would not even remember you. You are the Help, OP, and nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember that if you left him tomorrow, your charge would not even remember you. You are the Help, OP, and nothing more.

Yes, you are the Help, OP, and yes, your charge will not actively remember you.

But what he will remember and carry with him all his life is the security you gave him in knowing that you were always there for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember that if you left him tomorrow, your charge would not even remember you. You are the Help, OP, and nothing more.

Why do you post this over and over again? Are you a one trick pony?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that if you left him tomorrow, your charge would not even remember you. You are the Help, OP, and nothing more.

Why do you post this over and over again? Are you a one trick pony?

It is the very simple truth. No, I post many other things but this is the most important and bears repeating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that if you left him tomorrow, your charge would not even remember you. You are the Help, OP, and nothing more.

Why do you post this over and over again? Are you a one trick pony?

It is the very simple truth. No, I post many other things but this is the most important and bears repeating.

No, but it's a convenient lie you need to tell yourself so you can switch nannies like your dirty underwear. Study some early childhood development when you're really to face the truth.