MB pregnant but not telling me

[Anonymous]

I know for sure my boss is about 4 months pregnant but she doesn't tell me anything. Why?!?!?! We have a great relationship, I've been taking care of her baby girl for 17 months .... Is this normal?!

[Anonymous]

Yes, because it is none of your business.

[Anonymous]

it's only 4 months which means she might not be telling any people yet. this is absolutely not your business until she is 7 or 8 months pregnant (which at that point might just mean she doesn't want you and you don' thave that great of a relationship)

[Anonymous]

She might be waiting to hear back on some blood work, or she might be thinking through what they want their childcare situation to be while she's on maternity leave and when she goes back to work, and she probably doesn't want to open that discussion until she's able to provide you the answers and clarity that you'd like.

[Anonymous]

How do you know she's 4 months? Also some people stop things things like alcohol or certain foods while they are trying to get pregnant. Or perhaps she's taking meds to try to get pregnant. Or maybe she's put on weight.

[Anonymous]

Oh the irony. Funny how none of these reason apply to nannies. If you're a nanny and you dont tell the moment you find out, you're deceptive, even though it is perfectly okay to discriminate against you once they know.

OP your MB just may not be ready to tell you. She may be waiting until after certain tests happen, she may want to tell friends and family first, she may not have planned this and is still coming to terms with it, etc. You know, and you can start planning. Decide whether you'd be okay taking on an infant, decide what compensation you'd require to do it, brush up on your newborn skills, and polish up your resume in case they decide to let you go.

[Anonymous]

That's not a great relationship. You are the help, not her friend.

Look out for yourself and get a new job if you don't want baby care for an extra dollar an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know she's 4 months? Also some people stop things things like alcohol or certain foods while they are trying to get pregnant. Or perhaps she's taking meds to try to get pregnant. Or maybe she's put on weight.

As a nanny it's pretty easy to notice changes in the household. I figured out pretty quick that my MB was pregnant because of all the pregnancy test boxes and then doctor appointments. They were also pretty moderate wine drinkers but the wine disappeared.

[Anonymous]

Why do you all have to be such b***hes?
Can you not answer the question without calling her "the help?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know she's 4 months? Also some people stop things things like alcohol or certain foods while they are trying to get pregnant. Or perhaps she's taking meds to try to get pregnant. Or maybe she's put on weight.

As a nanny it's pretty easy to notice changes in the household. I figured out pretty quick that my MB was pregnant because of all the pregnancy test boxes and then doctor appointments. They were also pretty moderate wine drinkers but the wine disappeared.

I agree. I always know when my MBs are pregnant. It's not difficult to figure out.

[Anonymous]

She's not telling you because she's not ready to tell you.

There are all kinds of reasons why she's not ready and they may have nothing to do with you.

It will become plenty obvious, in plenty of time for discussion and planning.

Don't take it personally, just do your job and see what happens over the next couple of months.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry about it just yet OP. Doesn't mean anything about your relationship or your job. Plenty of people don't tell for a long time.

[Anonymous]

I remember being very nervous to tell our nanny when I was pregnant with our third. My older two were already a handful, and I was afraid that she would quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh the irony. Funny how none of these reason apply to nannies. If you're a nanny and you dont tell the moment you find out, you're deceptive, even though it is perfectly okay to discriminate against you once they know.

OP your MB just may not be ready to tell you. She may be waiting until after certain tests happen, she may want to tell friends and family first, she may not have planned this and is still coming to terms with it, etc. You know, and you can start planning. Decide whether you'd be okay taking on an infant, decide what compensation you'd require to do it, brush up on your newborn skills, and polish up your resume in case they decide to let you go.

ummm, obviously parents want to know ASAP if the nanny is pregnant because that might mean they have no childcare. and I've never heard it call deceptive when nannies don't disclose this, though I do think they should be very upfront about it. on the hand, it's less important for MBs to disclose that early because the nanny's job usually doesn't change a ton - if anything, it means job security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh the irony. Funny how none of these reason apply to nannies. If you're a nanny and you dont tell the moment you find out, you're deceptive, even though it is perfectly okay to discriminate against you once they know.

OP your MB just may not be ready to tell you. She may be waiting until after certain tests happen, she may want to tell friends and family first, she may not have planned this and is still coming to terms with it, etc. You know, and you can start planning. Decide whether you'd be okay taking on an infant, decide what compensation you'd require to do it, brush up on your newborn skills, and polish up your resume in case they decide to let you go.

ummm, obviously parents want to know ASAP if the nanny is pregnant because that might mean they have no childcare. and I've never heard it call deceptive when nannies don't disclose this, though I do think they should be very upfront about it. on the hand, it's less important for MBs to disclose that early because the nanny's job usually doesn't change a ton - if anything, it means job security.

1) its said all the time, nannies are always encouraged to tell asap
2) I understand the motivation, of course, but that doesn't mean the double standard is okay. A nanny can have the same exact reasons for not telling, if not more because her job is not protected.
3) I disagree that the news has no real effect on a nanny. Pregnant MBs can be an emotional territorial pain in the butt, it means nanny will have to pick up more slack, it means preparing to deal with visiting grandparents, maternity leave, and a newborn to care for. Its not a walk in the park, and a nanny must decide if she's willing to stomach it for $1/hour extra. Not to mention the fact that it can mean job security or it could mean losing her job altogether.