BTDT Nannies that work with SAHMs

[Anonymous]

What's your experience been like?
Pros and cons and tips?
I have only been an independent nanny no other adults at home so I am used to running the show so to speak during the day, but I am considering a position with a SAHM of a 14 month old and newborn twins.

[Anonymous]

Why would a SAHM need a nanny? That should be your first clue to run....

[Anonymous]

Healthy boundaries are essential.
What did she tell you she'll be doing while you're there?
"Helping" you?
Beware.

[Anonymous]

Aside from the fact that it just sounds like a nightmare day to day, I'd be more concerned about long term job security. Once she feels like she can handle things by herself, and/or put the older child in preschool, she'll probably let you go with little notice. Did she tell you how long she's expecting to need a nanny?

[Anonymous]

I had a nanny for a while even though I was a SAHM. I have four kids and needed laundry and dinner and baby help. While I engaged with the older kids after school the nanny took care of the babies. It worked out really well although there was a big training period because we have distinct systems to keep things running smoothly. Every time I wound up frustrated with the nanny, it was because I'd screwed up my communication.

[Anonymous]

If you want to "train" a nanny, don't hire one who's already experienced.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it, OP. SAHMs want maids and mother's helpers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it, OP. SAHMs want maids and mother's helpers.

+ 1 This is true, OP. I accepted a job like this and it was far and above to worst job I have ever had in my life. I lasted two weeks before I gave my notice and did the happy dance when I left for that last day.

Take a job like this ONLY if you have no experience as a nanny and need to build a resume.

[Anonymous]

OP, thanks for the input.
I don't need the experience.
I was drawn to the job because they needed help caring for twins and I miss caring for twins.
But you are all probably right in that they are most likely looking for a mother's helper,and I am beyond that at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for the input.
I don't need the experience.
I was drawn to the job because they needed help caring for twins and I miss caring for twins.
But you are all probably right in that they are most likely looking for a mother's helper,and I am beyond that at this point.

Hang in there, OP. There is always a good job out there for a nanny with twin experience. You don't need to cater to a SAHM to get twin charges again.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny who has worked for a SAHM, and think it can be a wonderful situation, given the right circumstances. I worked for the SAHM for almost 5 years, and we got along beautifully. In really felt like I was a partner in helping to raise the children and the parents both greatly valued my input. I don't work for them any longer, but we're like family now and still get together quite frequently. I wouldn't trade my time with them for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would a SAHM need a nanny? That should be your first clue to run....

Because she has a 14 month old and newborn twins.

[Anonymous]

I would first and foremost make sure that you have great chemistry with the mother. Hopefully you have spent some time with her and the kids and she seems to be relaxed, laid back and not too uptight about things. There is nothing worse than working for a Type A mother. Nothing.

If your personalities click, then I would say you must feel comfortable taking direction because with the mother in the home, she will be giving out instructions daily.

A good idea would be if perhaps you and her are not constantly around each other the whole day.

Perhaps you watch the children while she runs errands, naps, showers or cleans the house. Or you can take the toddler out on daily outings to give her a break.

[Anonymous]

I have four close in age, now almost 5 down to one month. I have had a full time nanny since #2 came around. I work part time, but also use the nanny time to run errands, do appointments, cook much more elaborate meals than I could otherwise, nap sometimes, and when there's a new baby, I can be attached at the boob for a few months (and get a nap in sometimes) while the older ones maintain their schedule.

I try to stay out of her way during the day, especially during nap/quiet time so that she gets a break to herself.

I do not ask the nanny to do housekeeping tasks beyond child-related ones (their laundry, clean up after their snacks/meals, help maintain toys). I have another person I've hired to help with those tasks when necessary.

There are some advantages:
-- I have never turned down a nanny's request for time off, because I am always available to cover.
-- Start and end times are firm, and there is never a chance I'll be home late.
-- I am often available to take over for a little while so the nanny can go to the bathroom in peace, or can clean up from an activity without having to also corral the children.
-- I often have one or more of the kids myself, so even though she's paid for four children, she often has fewer (not always, and not always on a predictable schedule, but often).
-- When we're doing something difficult, like potty training, we can work together so that it's less stressful.
-- I'm here, so I'll change diapers, or clean up, or whatever, if it's needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have four close in age, now almost 5 down to one month. I have had a full time nanny since #2 came around. I work part time, but also use the nanny time to run errands, do appointments, cook much more elaborate meals than I could otherwise, nap sometimes, and when there's a new baby, I can be attached at the boob for a few months (and get a nap in sometimes) while the older ones maintain their schedule.

I try to stay out of her way during the day, especially during nap/quiet time so that she gets a break to herself.

I do not ask the nanny to do housekeeping tasks beyond child-related ones (their laundry, clean up after their snacks/meals, help maintain toys). I have another person I've hired to help with those tasks when necessary.

There are some advantages:
-- I have never turned down a nanny's request for time off, because I am always available to cover.
-- Start and end times are firm, and there is never a chance I'll be home late.
-- I am often available to take over for a little while so the nanny can go to the bathroom in peace, or can clean up from an activity without having to also corral the children.
-- I often have one or more of the kids myself, so even though she's paid for four children, she often has fewer (not always, and not always on a predictable schedule, but often).
-- When we're doing something difficult, like potty training, we can work together so that it's less stressful.
-- I'm here, so I'll change diapers, or clean up, or whatever, if it's needed.

All your positives are really negatives, for example....

When I am alone and need to poop I can plop baby in the crib. Now with you around I have to ask you for help to cover me, worrying about if I'm taking too long, should I finish up and come back later for more or try to clean myself out now. Will you think I'm pooping too much. I hate they you know my poop schedule.

Same with everything else, having you butt in or "help out" just makes everything awkward, especially since you already have the attitude of "your being paid for 4 kids but I have 1 or 2 most of the time".