BTDT Nannies that work with SAHMs
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Anonymous
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I worked for two SAHMs.
One experience was wonderful and lasted over a year until the oldest went to preschool. They were 1, 3, 4. The mom and I clicked very fast, stayed out of each other's way, helped each other out and generally had a good time. I am still in touch with them years later. The other job I got fired from because the 18mo "cried all the time while I was there". He would cry when the mom left, I would get him interested in an activity, and she would turn up ten minutes later to check on him... ad infinitum. I was there for four hours six days a week and it never stopped unless she went out. Then I wasn't there for three days and when I came back she said that he had been so much better and wasn't crying at all, so I was let go. I might have done a jig I was so relieved. I only wish I had quit myself sooner. She was a terrible micromanager and told me off for the most ridiculous things and asked me to do things not in my job description. I was too young to know I was being taken advantage of. So I think the most important thing if you do work for a SAHM is to have clear boundaries of what each of your jobs are, have open lines of communication and above all like and get along with the mother. |
Anonymous
| Both the mother and the nanny need to be incredibly self-disciplined. |
Anonymous
This sounds very similar to a position I had with a WAHM. There were 3 kids (ages 17 months, almost 3, and almost 4). The only play area they had for their kids in the house was the basement, where there was a very large room full of toys, and with an art table, etc. The other (much smaller) room in the basement was MBs home office :/. Every time MB would go into the office the kids would all run over to her office door and start banging on it and screaming and crying for her to come out. She would come out, every single time, and give them all hugs and kisses and tell them "it's okay, mommy has to work but you can play with Larla." And she would go back into the office, and they would scream and cry and bang on her door again. I tried to distract them with games, toys, art projects, books, etc. I would usually succeed in distracting them for a few minutes, but then one of the three would remember mommy and run back over to her door and bang on it and cry, and the others would immediately follow suit, and MB would immediately come out every time. That was day one. Day two, I asked MB to let me walk with them to the playground, in an effort to bond with them without her being present, and to give her a chance to do some work. She agreed, and we walked to the park. It was a great success, but on the walk back home, the eldest fell and scraped her knee on the sidewalk. It was a very minor scrape, but she was being a huge drama queen about it, and when we walked into the house I tried to clean out her cut and put on a bandaid with neosporin, but she was screaming like she was literally dying the whole time. MB came out, the scraped knee DD was screaming and crying about her booboo. MB made some comment like "I knew Larla couldn't handle all 3 at the playground." And told me to go home (my shift was about 30 mins from being over anyway). Then she emailed me that night saying "clearly this arrangement just isn't working." I was very relieved, but it was so frustrating! The situation was doomed to not work because she never gave the kids a chance to acclimate to me without her butting in every two minutes because she didn't trust me! It didn't matter that my previous nanny family also had three young kids (very similar in ages to her family when I started, both of their parents worked outside of the home), and I had worked with them for two and a half great years and their MB had recommended me highly. This MB was used to being home alone with her kids and wouldn't trust ANYONE with her kids no matter what. And she clearly felt the need to make sure that no nanny would ever take mommy's place by running every time they cried for her. Since then I've avoided SAHM and WAHM employers; I'm sure it is possible for it to be a decent arrangement, but it will necessarily take that much more effort and communication from everyone; why deal with the added stress if you can avoid it? |
Anonymous
A job with a SAHM is for nannies who are just starting out and have no experience. I did it early on and it was pretty horrible - but I got a great recommendation and moved on to better positions. |
Anonymous
That is an overgeneralization. Depending on the needs of the children and household, a job with a SAHM might require a nanny with special skills and experience. One size does not fit all. |
Anonymous
You're right. My last job with a SAHM required me to be more of a therapist for mom, while we shared the child care. |
Anonymous
Geez people, it's not *that* bad all the time is it? I work PT and occasionally have some overlap time with our nanny. I do try to stay out of her way 95% of the day but sometimes we need to be in the same space. I try to keep it friendly and chat about t.v. or things I know interest her. I never talk about my or her personal problems with friends, finances, etc. because I don't think it's appropriate. My kids aren't distracted by it and if anything they want me to "go back upstairs and work" because they enjoy the playtime they have with her and they know it's limited so they don't want mom interrupting I'm sure it's easier not to have MB's at home just like I'm more relaxed when my boss isn't around at work, but I know I also sometimes enjoy visiting with them for a few minutes here and there and it gives me a chance to express appreciation for small things throughout the day.
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Anonymous
That's really great but I think OP is probably more interested in a nanny's point of view which might be a little different from your point of view as the employer. |