Why is this such a hard concept to understand?

[Anonymous]

Why do so many nanny families flat out refuse to have any sort of backup care in place? I see it so often on here and in my nanny jobs and with other nannies I know. Is it to put pressure on the nanny to never be gone? It was hell for me when my dad suddenly and unexpectedly passes away to have to go through that and feel guilty about missing some work. I be nearly lost my job because of how much strain it put on mb and db. Can't wait til my contract ends.

[Anonymous]

Parents have given up on being super-anything, so they dump it on the nanny, who should do what they can't.

[Anonymous]

I think most parents don't know where to find back up care and then don't want to pay the annual membership fee for something like WhiteHouse Nannies. They just hope that the days you'll be out will happen to be on days that they can afford to take off. A lot of employers offer back up care benefits but don't advertise it - you should push your employers to find out if they have it. You usually have to ask - HR doesn't announce it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most parents don't know where to find back up care and then don't want to pay the annual membership fee for something like WhiteHouse Nannies. They just hope that the days you'll be out will happen to be on days that they can afford to take off. A lot of employers offer back up care benefits but don't advertise it - you should push your employers to find out if they have it. You usually have to ask - HR doesn't announce it.

Those are all personal (lazy) decisions, that really isn't your nannies fault if it ends up biting you in the butt. I know I'm going to include something about backup care in my next contract. I'm so tired of seeing posts indicating that a nanny may lose her job because she had the nerve to be a human being, and her employers were too lazy or cheap to find backup care.

[Anonymous]

*nanny's

[Anonymous]

Because my son has special needs and someone needs to be familar with his daily routine and diet requirments. I can't possibly drop him off at a friends house or leave him at home with someone he doesn't know. He can't handle a day care center. That's why we have a nanny. We dont' have family in the area. I did pay for a girl to come evenings once a week for over a year so she would know my son and could be a "back-up". She came one night a week to work. I didn't need her those nights and it cost money just to have her be familair with my child so that she could provide back-up care if necessary. That got really expensive really quickly. And there was no guarantee she was available at the last moment I needed her if nanny couldn't come in for whatever reason. Sometimes she could, sometimes she couldn't. All my vacation time is used for back-up care and it sucks.

We moved and now we have a new nanny and no options for back-up. Just the way it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because my son has special needs and someone needs to be familar with his daily routine and diet requirments. I can't possibly drop him off at a friends house or leave him at home with someone he doesn't know. He can't handle a day care center. That's why we have a nanny. We dont' have family in the area. I did pay for a girl to come evenings once a week for over a year so she would know my son and could be a "back-up". She came one night a week to work. I didn't need her those nights and it cost money just to have her be familair with my child so that she could provide back-up care if necessary. That got really expensive really quickly. And there was no guarantee she was available at the last moment I needed her if nanny couldn't come in for whatever reason. Sometimes she could, sometimes she couldn't. All my vacation time is used for back-up care and it sucks.

We moved and now we have a new nanny and no options for back-up. Just the way it is.

Do you have a husband? Can't you guys take turns using your PTO? If this is such a problem that he must have the same caregiver, then you should think of hiring two part-time nannies that can also be each other's back up. Or perhaps you need to move to where you do have family around. You simply cannot expect a human being to never get sick or take bereavement leave or anything happen to them. It's just unfair to put that kind of pressure on a nanny.

[Anonymous]

No emergency issues with our nanny the last few years.
Her babysitting and backup recommendations (her other Filipino nanny friends) have been great when she does have to take a long weekend for a family obligation/trip or vacation.

That's also the nice thing about daycare - it doesn't take vacation or get sick or have other obligations that can affect its day job.

Face it, being a childcare provider is not an office job.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. My more recent long term clients had capable grandparents in the area, and/or worked a job where they could work from home or take the day off without it causing problems if I was sick. I always /hate/ calling out sick, regardless, but it did give me a bit of peace of mind to know that they would be "okay" if I had a fever, etc. Some of my other clients had it tougher; no family in town, jobs that were not at all flexible, etc. I remember once calling out sick with a family who was in that situation. I had worked for them for two years and had not taken a sick day before. I called up in the morning, feeling very ill, and explained that I felt terrible, had a pounding headache, was throwing up, etc. MB started yelling at me about having a very important meeting that day, and asked me "well what do you expect me to do??" I told her I was sorry, and that maybe if I took some medicine I might feel well enough to come in an hour or two late, if she wanted. She then made a snarky comment about me being hung over! (I don't even drink!!) and went on to yell at me for another minute before basically hanging up on me. Needless to say, I didn't call out sick for her again, I just showed up even if I thought I might be contagious, because I didn't want her to yell at me again (and I stopped working for them about six months later, mostly due to other issues pertaining to being a PITA MB).

I think back up care can be a difficult thing to set up, even without other issues (such as special needs). Sure, you can have a person or two on call, but there are never any guarantees they won't be working for someone else or otherwise busy on any given day with little to no notice. Well, I guess you could hire someone to be on call, but that sounds crazy expensive. I live in a smaller town and there isn't anything that I know of like White House nannies here for emergency back up care. There are nanny agencies, yes, but the ones I am familiar with here only do long term placements.

For me, I just do the very best I can to stay healthy and not call out sick, and (knock on wood!) I haven't had any serious health issues that have required more than two or three sick days per year.

[Anonymous]

OP, some people just have to learn the hard way be they employer or nanny. That's really all it is.

I actually ask about back up care plans in interviews now, and if they do not have a plan I am more than willing to help them formulate options.

I've done the always available nanny thing, and it wasn't good for my health physical or emotional.

I'm at a point in my life where I have certain standards .when it comes to my well being and my job.

Call me entitled if you want. I would agree with you . I am entitled to a relationship with my loved ones, I am entitled to taking care of my health and body, and I am entitle to working for people who respect me, and I in turn respect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, some people just have to learn the hard way be they employer or nanny. That's really all it is.

I actually ask about back up care plans in interviews now, and if they do not have a plan I am more than willing to help them formulate options.

I've done the always available nanny thing, and it wasn't good for my health physical or emotional.

I'm at a point in my life where I have certain standards .when it comes to my well being and my job.

Call me entitled if you want. I would agree with you . I am entitled to a relationship with my loved ones, I am entitled to taking care of my health and body, and I am entitle to working for people who respect me, and I in turn respect them.

Very well said. Thank you. I hope some MBs take careful note and reconsider their attitude towards their nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think back up care can be a difficult thing to set up, even without other issues (such as special needs). Sure, you can have a person or two on call, but there are never any guarantees they won't be working for someone else or otherwise busy on any given day with little to no notice. Well, I guess you could hire someone to be on call, but that sounds crazy expensive. I live in a smaller town and there isn't anything that I know of like White House nannies here for emergency back up care. There are nanny agencies, yes, but the ones I am familiar with here only do long term placements.

+1


It isn't a difficult concept to understand, but it is one that is difficult to practically implement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think back up care can be a difficult thing to set up, even without other issues (such as special needs). Sure, you can have a person or two on call, but there are never any guarantees they won't be working for someone else or otherwise busy on any given day with little to no notice. Well, I guess you could hire someone to be on call, but that sounds crazy expensive. I live in a smaller town and there isn't anything that I know of like White House nannies here for emergency back up care. There are nanny agencies, yes, but the ones I am familiar with here only do long term placements.

+1


It isn't a difficult concept to understand, but it is one that is difficult to practically implement.

I agree it can be difficult to set up, but it's so worth having. That's why I offer to help set something up if a family doesn't have a plan in place.

[Anonymous]

Well for those who cannot successfully implement it, then need to use a daycare instead. You cannot rely on just ONE person and only ONE person for all of your child care needs at all times. It's just not possible for someone to be your only option ever and then worry about being fired if a relative of theirs dies suddenly or if they themselves land in the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well for those who cannot successfully implement it, then need to use a daycare instead. You cannot rely on just ONE person and only ONE person for all of your child care needs at all times. It's just not possible for someone to be your only option ever and then worry about being fired if a relative of theirs dies suddenly or if they themselves land in the hospital.

Thank you. We're only human, just like the rest of you.