MB refuses to let me feed on demand

[Anonymous]

Been with NF for 3 weeks. Charge is 5 months and becoming more interactive so he doesn't want to eat as much. He just wants to play. Unfortunately he is on a strict eating routine ( 7:30, 11:30, 3:30, and 7:30). He is on Similiac and drinks 7-8oz. With him more interactive, he wants to stop and play after 4oz.

MB has noticed this as well but told me they aren't going off his routine. She directed to either lightly force to eat more or stop at 4oz and hold him off until next feed. He gets hungry at the 3rd hour if he eats less than 6oz. He won't eat more than 4-5oz and she won't let me feed him earlier than the routine. It's horrible because he is hungry but she just says " take him on walk or distract him". I like them and this job but I don't feel it's right to withhold food when he is hungry. What can I do?

[Anonymous]

I know many will call troll but this is serious post. They follow a very strict day routine and they refuse to budge from it.

[Anonymous]

Stick with the schedule. He won't starve to death. Eventually he will learn and eat when it's offered.

[Anonymous]

Wow...Is she a FTM? She seems like she has a lot to learn about motherhood.

The child needs to be fed on demand at this stage of life. Children during the first year of life go through so many different stages and phases that to force them to adhere to a strict schedule at any time is just plain cruel.

Plus, he will have so many growth spurts too. He could be going through one right now which could explain his sudden change in hunger pattern.

You can try explaining again to the mother, but if it falls on deaf ears, you have no choice but to follow her lame rules since at the end of the day she is YOUR boss and his mother unfortunately. While I do not see this baby in danger of dying, he will suffer hunger pangs for awhile until his mom wisens up.

If you really cannot deal with this, it will probably be best to move on and find another job where the parents have some brain cells. That work.

[Anonymous]

Are you able to explain to her that you are capable of feeding him on a schedule, but one that is inline with his hunger cycle.

You may want to mention that adequate feeding during the day helps for a good nights sleep.

If she still refuses I would quit.
I view this as a fundamental disagreement in child care philosophies and this will come up again and again in various forms. Now it's feedings down the road she will want the child toilet trained at exactly 18 months even if the child is showing zero signs of readiness, she will want the child reading by 4 even if child is not ready etc

I also don't allow babies to go hungry.

[Anonymous]

Well, whether or not I (or you) agree with the parents' approach this is their child, not yours, and you need to do as they're directing.

Obviously they will have to adjust the schedule and feedings as the child grows, and within just a few weeks presumably you'll be starting solids - which will significantly impact things.

In my opinion a set schedule is a good thing, as is the flexibility to adjust to the child's needs. Feeding on demand is not something I do with my kids unless they're sick. So I'm somewhere between you and this MB on this issue.

But bottom line - it's their child and you are very new in the job. I think your decision here is whether or not this position is a good fit for you - not whether you can change the parenting approach already well established.

[Anonymous]

Not sure I entirely disagree with MB. I normally put babies on a schedule at 6 months, so maybe it will even out within a month. Nobody is starving here. If you don't like your job, leave.

[Anonymous]

Does no one else find it odd that the schedule is for every 4 hours? Every infant I've ever worked with (as well as my nieces and nephews) were fed every 3 hours.

If baby is not taking well to this schedule, I might suggest a 3 hr schedule to MB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does no one else find it odd that the schedule is for every 4 hours? Every infant I've ever worked with (as well as my nieces and nephews) were fed every 3 hours.

If baby is not taking well to this schedule, I might suggest a 3 hr schedule to MB.

Sure - for infants. But this baby is already 5 months old so this isn't an unreasonable schedule.

[Anonymous]

Gosh, what would this kid do at daycare with an even stricter feeding schedule. holy smokes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does no one else find it odd that the schedule is for every 4 hours? Every infant I've ever worked with (as well as my nieces and nephews) were fed every 3 hours.

If baby is not taking well to this schedule, I might suggest a 3 hr schedule to MB.

Sure - for infants. But this baby is already 5 months old so this isn't an unreasonable schedule.

A 5 month old is an infant, Please tell me you don't care for babies.

Every 3 to 3.5 hours seems to be appropriate for this baby.

Sometimes I truly hate all the books by the "experts" that preach a "perfect" baby if they follow a "blueprint"

MB is likely a ftm that doesn't realize you can create a schedule for a baby that follows their natural feeding cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh, what would this kid do at daycare with an even stricter feeding schedule. holy smokes!

You need to send your baby to a different daycare if they are enforcing a strict feeding schedule on a 5 month old.

Every daycare I have worked in does not force a feeding schedule on infants.

Schedules start with the toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Is there a non-offensive way for you to suggest that MB bring up the changes in eating patterns with the ped and see what the ped recommends? Hopefully your boss would defer to the pediatrician if she says to feed on demand, or to allow for more frequent, small meals.

Alternatively, you could ask if it's okay to start solids and use that to bridge the hunger gap between bottles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a non-offensive way for you to suggest that MB bring up the changes in eating patterns with the ped and see what the ped recommends? Hopefully your boss would defer to the pediatrician if she says to feed on demand, or to allow for more frequent, small meals.

Alternatively, you could ask if it's okay to start solids and use that to bridge the hunger gap between bottles.

Me again. When you say that the baby was hungry today, how does the mom respond? The few times I've been told that, I've made an effort to provide more milk and/or food. I breastfeed and some nannies mistakenly expect breastmilk to work like formula, so I respond with information if it sounds like that's the issue, but otherwise I always try to find a way to provide for more. You know the saying - the #1 rule is to feed the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a non-offensive way for you to suggest that MB bring up the changes in eating patterns with the ped and see what the ped recommends? Hopefully your boss would defer to the pediatrician if she says to feed on demand, or to allow for more frequent, small meals.

Alternatively, you could ask if it's okay to start solids and use that to bridge the hunger gap between bottles.

I would not ask if you can start solids. That seems inappropriate at this time with this mb. My guess is she would not take the question well and would feel like the nanny is over stepping. I'm sure when mb decides to start solids she will let you know. I've noticed a trend recently of waitîny until 12 months to start solids so it might not be as soon as you think it could be.