A Thread of Recommendations for WFH Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

This. The entitled attitude of the nannies on this board is outrageous. I don't know if it is some kind of inferiority complex or what. The parents are the employer and the PARENT of the child and shall therefore dictate the terms in accordance with what was discussed prior to hiring. Nannies on here like to consider themselves "professionals" so perhaps they should become acquainted with the expectations of a professional in their work environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

This. The entitled attitude of the nannies on this board is outrageous. I don't know if it is some kind of inferiority complex or what. The parents are the employer and the PARENT of the child and shall therefore dictate the terms in accordance with what was discussed prior to hiring. Nannies on here like to consider themselves "professionals" so perhaps they should become acquainted with the expectations of a professional in their work environment.

To each their own. Please be clear during interviews that you want an automaton who will do as you decree for each little thing. I will continue to look for families with the same philosophies who will entrust me with following those philosophies while I care for and educate their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been seeing numerous posts of unhappy nannies here. I am also in nanny community Facebook groups and the collective unhappiness since COVID started is insane. I wanted to maybe start a thread of common mistakes WFH (work from home) parents are making during this pandemic with hopes that there will be more understanding. Please feel free to add on.

1. Do NOT work in the same space/room as the nanny and children. While yes we live in DC where many of us don’t have much space now that offices are closed, this is an easy way to get a resignation. The child and nanny need adequate space to bond without hearing your Zoom calls or seeing you. No matter how young or old, children do typically act much differently when parents are present vs when alone with a caregiver. Not to mention if your child is at the separation anxiety age, you really are hurting them more than helping them by being in the same room.

2. Do not micromanage. You hired your nanny because you felt they’re qualified right? Well let them be. It is very disruptive if you come to try an “help” during a tantrum or meltdown. Trust me, if they’re seasoned then they’ve handled plenty of these meltdowns and do not need your assistance. They also do not need your assistance with a daily agenda for the children, nap time, etc unless THEY ASK. Your nanny is there so you can work. Please just do your work and let them be.

3. Nap time should be downtime. This is a mentally exhausting time for us all. Please let your nanny have their lunch, look at their phone, and take a breather while the children are asleep. That laundry or unloading of the dishwasher you expect them to do can wait, or you can do it.

4. Coming downstairs to say hi or “check in” if your child has separation anxiety is a no no. Again, you are hurting your child and making your nanny’s job harder because they are now stuck with a very sad child once you retreat back to your home office. Again this is only if the child has separation anxiety. If your child could care less when you leave then a hi here or there will not hurt. Just ensure it is short and not disruptive especially if your nanny is doing an activity or teaching


Feel free to keep the list going. Nannies, some parents are not realizing this is disruptive as many of them are used to being at an office during the day rather than the same space as you. Communication goes a long way. 90% of parents do not want the person taking care of their children to be disgruntled so they will typically be willing to hear you out.

So much of this can be condensed into a simple notion of respect for each other, and understanding that it's tough for everyone.

We have a live-in nanny who takes care of our youngest (we have two older children who have different care arrangements). DH and I work from home. He has a separate office but I work at our kitchen table to be able to supervise our oldest (4th grade) to keep him focused on his work, cook, and respond to a myriad inquiries. The nanny and her 2-year old charge use the entire house, including the kitchen, living room, playroom and his bedroom. He doesn't even notice me most of the time. The nanny has complete control even when we're in the same room. I don't interfere with her at all other than tell her what food has been cooked/brought in since the last time she opened the fridge (so that she knows what her options are with regard to feeding the child). She doesn't cook or clean. It's tough with so many people at home but it is what it is. Respect and communication is all that is needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

Wow, you sound like an insecure lunatic. Or perhaps you hired an inexperienced sitter, not a professional nanny.