A Thread of Recommendations for WFH Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

It’s more similar to a teacher than office personnel.

Any principal who constantly butts into a classroom will be looking for a new teacher by the end of the year, if not sooner. A certain amount of oversight is expected. Having a higher authority in any out all day confuses children, it doesn’t help.

And things like naps, activities, food, discipline, attachment, covid exposure, etc? We talk about those before I’m hired. I don’t work for families unless we’re a match on everything that matters. I do understand that it’s a constantly evolving situation, but I expect to be heard with regard to my perspective of best interest for your child. I don’t expect for my voice to be your sole input, nor do I expect that we would agree on everything. But I do expect to be heard, and I find another family if I’m treated like a random sitter with no experience, no desire to understand your child, and no ability to look at your child and child development in a way that will help you make informed decisions.

That’s all these nannies want. We are professionals. We’ve seen many of the situations that arise many times. We’ve done tens and hundreds of hours of research, without or without college courses, so let us share that with you, to lighten your pile. But most of all? Recognize that we know child development, we know your child, and we know when seeing a parent multiple times is helpful vs when it’s causing issues for your child.

Well, since you drew parallels with teachers. Teachers are licensed, educated specifically for teaching, and the profession is highly scripted in terms what they can and cannot do, or else they will not be employed. When it comes to a small non verbal baby and nanny who is not licensed by any standard body and is not college educated on early childhood development, it's a different weight that her opinion carries. By all means she deserves to be heard but she does not call the shots. The only scenario I can think of is when parents overwhelmed, overworked or checked out for some other reason - then nanny probably is very autonomous, makes decisions for the benefit of the baby, etc. etc.

Many nannies are college-educated. Most have more experience with babies than the average ftp. Even with f a nanny doesn’t have a degree, most have done significant research, again more than ftp.

Some (many) of us are teachers. That’s why I compared our profession to teaching. Public school teachers are highly regulated; depending on the state; private school teachers may not even be required to have a degree in education, let alone an up-to-date certificate. It dies t diminish the capability of a teacher who is not as regulated. Nor is a nanny’s ability diminished when she asks for space to do her job without interference.

Btw, most managers recognize that micromanaging employees leads to high turnover. Field doesn’t matter.

Teachers in private schools have to be licensed and have to have an advanced degree in their field (above bachelors). They are not less regulated. This is a false analogy.
The bolded part is where you're wrong. Also, your generalizations seem far fetched. And if your last statement is a veiled threat that a hypothetical nanny would leave if she receives detailed instructions/supervision - she by all means should leave.

I am only one of the previous responders and what we are trying to explain to you is that a) while we may not all have degrees and licenses many of us have years of on the job training and many of us do continued further research and keep ourselves educated and up to date, b) we are not asking for full autonomy to do whatever we want whenever we want, we are simply asking for some respect, and c) this is the big one-we want to be of service to you and make your life easier but our main concern is the kids welfare. Maybe thats where you are having a misunderstanding about what we are trying to tell you. I understand you may not ask your boss for this and that but I'm sure you wish to be respected in your field as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

It’s more similar to a teacher than office personnel.

Any principal who constantly butts into a classroom will be looking for a new teacher by the end of the year, if not sooner. A certain amount of oversight is expected. Having a higher authority in any out all day confuses children, it doesn’t help.

And things like naps, activities, food, discipline, attachment, covid exposure, etc? We talk about those before I’m hired. I don’t work for families unless we’re a match on everything that matters. I do understand that it’s a constantly evolving situation, but I expect to be heard with regard to my perspective of best interest for your child. I don’t expect for my voice to be your sole input, nor do I expect that we would agree on everything. But I do expect to be heard, and I find another family if I’m treated like a random sitter with no experience, no desire to understand your child, and no ability to look at your child and child development in a way that will help you make informed decisions.

That’s all these nannies want. We are professionals. We’ve seen many of the situations that arise many times. We’ve done tens and hundreds of hours of research, without or without college courses, so let us share that with you, to lighten your pile. But most of all? Recognize that we know child development, we know your child, and we know when seeing a parent multiple times is helpful vs when it’s causing issues for your child.

Well, since you drew parallels with teachers. Teachers are licensed, educated specifically for teaching, and the profession is highly scripted in terms what they can and cannot do, or else they will not be employed. When it comes to a small non verbal baby and nanny who is not licensed by any standard body and is not college educated on early childhood development, it's a different weight that her opinion carries. By all means she deserves to be heard but she does not call the shots. The only scenario I can think of is when parents overwhelmed, overworked or checked out for some other reason - then nanny probably is very autonomous, makes decisions for the benefit of the baby, etc. etc.

Many nannies are college-educated. Most have more experience with babies than the average ftp. Even with f a nanny doesn’t have a degree, most have done significant research, again more than ftp.

Some (many) of us are teachers. That’s why I compared our profession to teaching. Public school teachers are highly regulated; depending on the state; private school teachers may not even be required to have a degree in education, let alone an up-to-date certificate. It dies t diminish the capability of a teacher who is not as regulated. Nor is a nanny’s ability diminished when she asks for space to do her job without interference.

Btw, most managers recognize that micromanaging employees leads to high turnover. Field doesn’t matter.

Teachers in private schools have to be licensed and have to have an advanced degree in their field (above bachelors). They are not less regulated. This is a false analogy.
The bolded part is where you're wrong. Also, your generalizations seem far fetched. And if your last statement is a veiled threat that a hypothetical nanny would leave if she receives detailed instructions/supervision - she by all means should leave.

I am only one of the previous responders and what we are trying to explain to you is that a) while we may not all have degrees and licenses many of us have years of on the job training and many of us do continued further research and keep ourselves educated and up to date, b) we are not asking for full autonomy to do whatever we want whenever we want, we are simply asking for some respect, and c) this is the big one-we want to be of service to you and make your life easier but our main concern is the kids welfare. Maybe thats where you are having a misunderstanding about what we are trying to tell you. I understand you may not ask your boss for this and that but I'm sure you wish to be respected in your field as well.

Lookie, if you think parents are making decisions that endanger children's welfare you should report them to the authorities. On the other hand, if parents have a preference different from yours or different from your previous 10 employers - it's their right. It's not because they disrespect you, they just choose smth you wouldn't have chosen and that's ok. There is no one singe way to do things. This society tolerates anti-vaxxers, so the spectrum of what's acceptable is very very wide. Lastly, if you want to be respected you should also have respect for people you work for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

It’s more similar to a teacher than office personnel.

Any principal who constantly butts into a classroom will be looking for a new teacher by the end of the year, if not sooner. A certain amount of oversight is expected. Having a higher authority in any out all day confuses children, it doesn’t help.

And things like naps, activities, food, discipline, attachment, covid exposure, etc? We talk about those before I’m hired. I don’t work for families unless we’re a match on everything that matters. I do understand that it’s a constantly evolving situation, but I expect to be heard with regard to my perspective of best interest for your child. I don’t expect for my voice to be your sole input, nor do I expect that we would agree on everything. But I do expect to be heard, and I find another family if I’m treated like a random sitter with no experience, no desire to understand your child, and no ability to look at your child and child development in a way that will help you make informed decisions.

That’s all these nannies want. We are professionals. We’ve seen many of the situations that arise many times. We’ve done tens and hundreds of hours of research, without or without college courses, so let us share that with you, to lighten your pile. But most of all? Recognize that we know child development, we know your child, and we know when seeing a parent multiple times is helpful vs when it’s causing issues for your child.

Well, since you drew parallels with teachers. Teachers are licensed, educated specifically for teaching, and the profession is highly scripted in terms what they can and cannot do, or else they will not be employed. When it comes to a small non verbal baby and nanny who is not licensed by any standard body and is not college educated on early childhood development, it's a different weight that her opinion carries. By all means she deserves to be heard but she does not call the shots. The only scenario I can think of is when parents overwhelmed, overworked or checked out for some other reason - then nanny probably is very autonomous, makes decisions for the benefit of the baby, etc. etc.

Many nannies are college-educated. Most have more experience with babies than the average ftp. Even with f a nanny doesn’t have a degree, most have done significant research, again more than ftp.

Some (many) of us are teachers. That’s why I compared our profession to teaching. Public school teachers are highly regulated; depending on the state; private school teachers may not even be required to have a degree in education, let alone an up-to-date certificate. It dies t diminish the capability of a teacher who is not as regulated. Nor is a nanny’s ability diminished when she asks for space to do her job without interference.

Btw, most managers recognize that micromanaging employees leads to high turnover. Field doesn’t matter.

Teachers in private schools have to be licensed and have to have an advanced degree in their field (above bachelors). They are not less regulated. This is a false analogy.
The bolded part is where you're wrong. Also, your generalizations seem far fetched. And if your last statement is a veiled threat that a hypothetical nanny would leave if she receives detailed instructions/supervision - she by all means should leave.

Nope, private schools teachers don’t have to be licensed, depending on the state:
https://www2.ed.gov/admins/comm/choice/regprivschl/regprivschl.pdf

Again, most employees are given general guidelines, then are left to develop their own routines. Micromanaging everything leads to high turnover. Most new nannies run afoul of this once, then we refuse to be micromanaged again. General agreement is great: naps in the crib, when to potty train, etc. But micromanaging everything? As I said, it’s leads to high turnover in EVERY field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

It’s more similar to a teacher than office personnel.

Any principal who constantly butts into a classroom will be looking for a new teacher by the end of the year, if not sooner. A certain amount of oversight is expected. Having a higher authority in any out all day confuses children, it doesn’t help.

And things like naps, activities, food, discipline, attachment, covid exposure, etc? We talk about those before I’m hired. I don’t work for families unless we’re a match on everything that matters. I do understand that it’s a constantly evolving situation, but I expect to be heard with regard to my perspective of best interest for your child. I don’t expect for my voice to be your sole input, nor do I expect that we would agree on everything. But I do expect to be heard, and I find another family if I’m treated like a random sitter with no experience, no desire to understand your child, and no ability to look at your child and child development in a way that will help you make informed decisions.

That’s all these nannies want. We are professionals. We’ve seen many of the situations that arise many times. We’ve done tens and hundreds of hours of research, without or without college courses, so let us share that with you, to lighten your pile. But most of all? Recognize that we know child development, we know your child, and we know when seeing a parent multiple times is helpful vs when it’s causing issues for your child.

Well, since you drew parallels with teachers. Teachers are licensed, educated specifically for teaching, and the profession is highly scripted in terms what they can and cannot do, or else they will not be employed. When it comes to a small non verbal baby and nanny who is not licensed by any standard body and is not college educated on early childhood development, it's a different weight that her opinion carries. By all means she deserves to be heard but she does not call the shots. The only scenario I can think of is when parents overwhelmed, overworked or checked out for some other reason - then nanny probably is very autonomous, makes decisions for the benefit of the baby, etc. etc.

Many nannies are college-educated. Most have more experience with babies than the average ftp. Even with f a nanny doesn’t have a degree, most have done significant research, again more than ftp.

Some (many) of us are teachers. That’s why I compared our profession to teaching. Public school teachers are highly regulated; depending on the state; private school teachers may not even be required to have a degree in education, let alone an up-to-date certificate. It dies t diminish the capability of a teacher who is not as regulated. Nor is a nanny’s ability diminished when she asks for space to do her job without interference.

Btw, most managers recognize that micromanaging employees leads to high turnover. Field doesn’t matter.

Teachers in private schools have to be licensed and have to have an advanced degree in their field (above bachelors). They are not less regulated. This is a false analogy.
The bolded part is where you're wrong. Also, your generalizations seem far fetched. And if your last statement is a veiled threat that a hypothetical nanny would leave if she receives detailed instructions/supervision - she by all means should leave.

I am only one of the previous responders and what we are trying to explain to you is that a) while we may not all have degrees and licenses many of us have years of on the job training and many of us do continued further research and keep ourselves educated and up to date, b) we are not asking for full autonomy to do whatever we want whenever we want, we are simply asking for some respect, and c) this is the big one-we want to be of service to you and make your life easier but our main concern is the kids welfare. Maybe thats where you are having a misunderstanding about what we are trying to tell you. I understand you may not ask your boss for this and that but I'm sure you wish to be respected in your field as well.

Lookie, if you think parents are making decisions that endanger children's welfare you should report them to the authorities. On the other hand, if parents have a preference different from yours or different from your previous 10 employers - it's their right. It's not because they disrespect you, they just choose smth you wouldn't have chosen and that's ok. There is no one singe way to do things. This society tolerates anti-vaxxers, so the spectrum of what's acceptable is very very wide. Lastly, if you want to be respected you should also have respect for people you work for.

As a parent you are entitled to parent however you want. You are -not- entitled to any nanny you want. If you don’t want to participate in a back-and-forth exchange about what is and isn’t working for you, your nanny and your child, then you may very well lose a good nanny. Not because she is some self-important b!tch who is too big for her britches, but because a nanny who has spent years of her life (in my case well over a decade), reading about child development, studying different pedagogical approaches, refining her practice and generally being in the trenches caring for children hands-on—that kind of nanny is not interested in being micromanaged by someone who knows less about her own field than she does.

It sounds like you don’t want that experienced, confident caregiver, so as usual it all sorts itself out. Parents like you who feel the need to have constant input into every detail of their child’s day will end up with an inexperienced nanny who needs that level of hand-holding or a nanny with a passive personality who at least doesn’t mind. Parents who are comfortable treating their nanny as a trusted resource and independent operator will end up hiring someone with a self-starter personality and the experience and education needed to make her job work without direct supervision at every step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

It’s more similar to a teacher than office personnel.

Any principal who constantly butts into a classroom will be looking for a new teacher by the end of the year, if not sooner. A certain amount of oversight is expected. Having a higher authority in any out all day confuses children, it doesn’t help.

And things like naps, activities, food, discipline, attachment, covid exposure, etc? We talk about those before I’m hired. I don’t work for families unless we’re a match on everything that matters. I do understand that it’s a constantly evolving situation, but I expect to be heard with regard to my perspective of best interest for your child. I don’t expect for my voice to be your sole input, nor do I expect that we would agree on everything. But I do expect to be heard, and I find another family if I’m treated like a random sitter with no experience, no desire to understand your child, and no ability to look at your child and child development in a way that will help you make informed decisions.

That’s all these nannies want. We are professionals. We’ve seen many of the situations that arise many times. We’ve done tens and hundreds of hours of research, without or without college courses, so let us share that with you, to lighten your pile. But most of all? Recognize that we know child development, we know your child, and we know when seeing a parent multiple times is helpful vs when it’s causing issues for your child.

Well, since you drew parallels with teachers. Teachers are licensed, educated specifically for teaching, and the profession is highly scripted in terms what they can and cannot do, or else they will not be employed. When it comes to a small non verbal baby and nanny who is not licensed by any standard body and is not college educated on early childhood development, it's a different weight that her opinion carries. By all means she deserves to be heard but she does not call the shots. The only scenario I can think of is when parents overwhelmed, overworked or checked out for some other reason - then nanny probably is very autonomous, makes decisions for the benefit of the baby, etc. etc.

Many nannies are college-educated. Most have more experience with babies than the average ftp. Even with f a nanny doesn’t have a degree, most have done significant research, again more than ftp.

Some (many) of us are teachers. That’s why I compared our profession to teaching. Public school teachers are highly regulated; depending on the state; private school teachers may not even be required to have a degree in education, let alone an up-to-date certificate. It dies t diminish the capability of a teacher who is not as regulated. Nor is a nanny’s ability diminished when she asks for space to do her job without interference.

Btw, most managers recognize that micromanaging employees leads to high turnover. Field doesn’t matter.

Teachers in private schools have to be licensed and have to have an advanced degree in their field (above bachelors). They are not less regulated. This is a false analogy.
The bolded part is where you're wrong. Also, your generalizations seem far fetched. And if your last statement is a veiled threat that a hypothetical nanny would leave if she receives detailed instructions/supervision - she by all means should leave.

I think “office environment” PP is a troll.

It is completely appropriate for an office employee to communicate OP’s topics to their supervisor.
In fact, office supervisors should be ASKING for this kind of feedback, trying to figure out what their employees need to be productive and effective.
Same with nannies.

If PP can’t say this stuff to their supervisor they have a very bad work environment.

[Anonymous]

My experience with some MBs (not all of course) is that they let their egos sometimes get in the way of making good decisions. They feel they must be in control of all at all times. They are under a lot of pressure and sometimes accidentally end up shooting themselves in the foot when it comes to childcare. I don't think any of this is intentional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

It’s more similar to a teacher than office personnel.

Any principal who constantly butts into a classroom will be looking for a new teacher by the end of the year, if not sooner. A certain amount of oversight is expected. Having a higher authority in any out all day confuses children, it doesn’t help.

And things like naps, activities, food, discipline, attachment, covid exposure, etc? We talk about those before I’m hired. I don’t work for families unless we’re a match on everything that matters. I do understand that it’s a constantly evolving situation, but I expect to be heard with regard to my perspective of best interest for your child. I don’t expect for my voice to be your sole input, nor do I expect that we would agree on everything. But I do expect to be heard, and I find another family if I’m treated like a random sitter with no experience, no desire to understand your child, and no ability to look at your child and child development in a way that will help you make informed decisions.

That’s all these nannies want. We are professionals. We’ve seen many of the situations that arise many times. We’ve done tens and hundreds of hours of research, without or without college courses, so let us share that with you, to lighten your pile. But most of all? Recognize that we know child development, we know your child, and we know when seeing a parent multiple times is helpful vs when it’s causing issues for your child.

Well, since you drew parallels with teachers. Teachers are licensed, educated specifically for teaching, and the profession is highly scripted in terms what they can and cannot do, or else they will not be employed. When it comes to a small non verbal baby and nanny who is not licensed by any standard body and is not college educated on early childhood development, it's a different weight that her opinion carries. By all means she deserves to be heard but she does not call the shots. The only scenario I can think of is when parents overwhelmed, overworked or checked out for some other reason - then nanny probably is very autonomous, makes decisions for the benefit of the baby, etc. etc.

Many nannies are college-educated. Most have more experience with babies than the average ftp. Even with f a nanny doesn’t have a degree, most have done significant research, again more than ftp.

Some (many) of us are teachers. That’s why I compared our profession to teaching. Public school teachers are highly regulated; depending on the state; private school teachers may not even be required to have a degree in education, let alone an up-to-date certificate. It dies t diminish the capability of a teacher who is not as regulated. Nor is a nanny’s ability diminished when she asks for space to do her job without interference.

Btw, most managers recognize that micromanaging employees leads to high turnover. Field doesn’t matter.

Teachers in private schools have to be licensed and have to have an advanced degree in their field (above bachelors). They are not less regulated. This is a false analogy.
The bolded part is where you're wrong. Also, your generalizations seem far fetched. And if your last statement is a veiled threat that a hypothetical nanny would leave if she receives detailed instructions/supervision - she by all means should leave.

I am only one of the previous responders and what we are trying to explain to you is that a) while we may not all have degrees and licenses many of us have years of on the job training and many of us do continued further research and keep ourselves educated and up to date, b) we are not asking for full autonomy to do whatever we want whenever we want, we are simply asking for some respect, and c) this is the big one-we want to be of service to you and make your life easier but our main concern is the kids welfare. Maybe thats where you are having a misunderstanding about what we are trying to tell you. I understand you may not ask your boss for this and that but I'm sure you wish to be respected in your field as well.

Lookie, if you think parents are making decisions that endanger children's welfare you should report them to the authorities. On the other hand, if parents have a preference different from yours or different from your previous 10 employers - it's their right. It's not because they disrespect you, they just choose smth you wouldn't have chosen and that's ok. There is no one singe way to do things. This society tolerates anti-vaxxers, so the spectrum of what's acceptable is very very wide. Lastly, if you want to be respected you should also have respect for people you work for.

But completely subsuming your own opinions all day long, everyday just doesn’t work. That’s why we look for families with the same or nearly identical philosophies. It’s not about thinking that parents are going to hurt the child with their choices. The point is that nannies are professionals, able to design a day to benefit the child in the most effective way. We know how to handle separation anxiety, but when parents are constantly in and out, we can only do so much. We build room into the day to handle possible meltdowns, diaper blowouts, and just feeling off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

It’s not realistic since Covid work is very busy for me so honestly I don’t have time to keep trying to micromanage someone and if that’s that you need to do take care of your kids yourself and let your nanny find a family that would love and respect her.... my nanny has been with me 5 years and I have 2 kids that adore her and my husband and I are fortunate enough to rent out an office space and work so that she and the kids can DEFINITELY still have somewhat of a normal routine..... I get not every family can do this but if you respect her as a person the least you can do is talk and have a serious heart to heart and try to come up with a compromise.

[Anonymous]

I keep in touch with the parents and kids I took care of twenty years ago. We were a team that operated with mutual respect for each other. (PS the kids are all geniuses now but I kind of knew that from the beginning) ((Not bragging))

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

Fire your nanny and take care of you own child.
I suspect that you have gone through many nannies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

You should see someone about your need to control every one and every thing around you.

The whole family feels the anxiety and stress when someone in the home grasps so tightly to control, that everyone walks on eggshells.

[Anonymous]

When my sister was a FTM she had the nice Mormon mom of 5 next door take care of her new baby. Sis did not care if neighbor had a degree or not, that woman knew how to take of babies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: When my sister was a FTM she had the nice Mormon mom of 5 next door take care of her new baby. Sis did not care if neighbor had a degree or not, that woman knew how to take of babies!

This sounds like a great solution for everybody!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

You should see someone about your need to control every one and every thing around you.

The whole family feels the anxiety and stress when someone in the home grasps so tightly to control, that everyone walks on eggshells.

It's not everybody/everything. It's a small non-verbal child. If you think parents should just fork over the money and turn away, you're delusional. It's normal and healthy to have specific informed wishes about child rearing, discipline, nutrition, development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. If I told my office employer all these things that I'll be needing, they would think I've gone mad. But somehow it's ok for nanny to ask for all of this?

It's not micromanagement. It's my child. My house. My money which I pay in order for nanny to do with children what in my opinion is best. That includes naps, daily activities, food and all other things. If I am in doubt I will ask. But if I don't ask and instead say how I want things done - that means I know what I want, I've spent hours researching, I've talked to the pediatrician, to other moms and came to the conclusion on how I want certain things to be. Telling a parent to mind their own business and let nanny be is unprofessional and unrealistic.

You should see someone about your need to control every one and every thing around you.

The whole family feels the anxiety and stress when someone in the home grasps so tightly to control, that everyone walks on eggshells.

It's not everybody/everything. It's a small non-verbal child. If you think parents should just fork over the money and turn away, you're delusional. It's normal and healthy to have specific informed wishes about child rearing, discipline, nutrition, development.

And it’s normal and healthy to seek someone with the same overarching views, then let them do their job.