Au Pair Expects to Be Paid for Play date Meals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to her and tell her that you cannot afford $25-40 activities a day for her. Those trips are far more for her than your child. Give her a $25 allowance a week for activities and let her figure it out.

Allowance? APs are not our children. They're caregivers. And there's very little you need to pay for with a toddler. DC Museums are free. Playgrounds are free. Libraries are free. Zoo is free. Sure give money for the occasional hot chocolate/ice cream/lunch out. But $100/month to entertain a toddler in DC? No.

She’s getting entertainment out of it too because she can’t figure out how to entertain the toddler on her own. How os are the other host kids?

Truthfully, I think the host parents are being used to fund activities the au pair wants to do, but doesn't want to pay for. The spy museum is not for toddlers. Our au pair wanted to go there, but not after she saw the cost. I think this group of au pairs is dragging kids around to activities they want to do (but not pay for) during work time. I would not allow this. The trouble you are going to have is that you have given her a lot of freedom to take a small child all over town without advance permission, without an expense account, and she will not like the breaks being put on her fun.

+1. Toddlers don’t need a soy milk drum or aquarium. That should be an au pair crucify for her abs her friends to foot the bill. They think they are slick.

What was that supposed to mean?

OP, this probably should have been covered before she started.

X amount for entertainment, meals/snacks or whatever. That's it.

It looks like it was supposed to say that toddlers don’t need the Spy Museum or (Baltimore) Aquarium. But Autocorrect won the battle. Ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: in our handbook I did not discuss play dates or additional compensation for trips out - it was never an issue with previous AP and I am kind of wary of putting in handbook, because we really push free events at libraries, language meet-ups for kids, community centers, etc. (toddler has movement delays and being around other kids not strapped to a stroller is optimal). We also have a gym/pool membership that we added her to she can take toddler swimming. If we put it in the handbook, I feel like we encourage her to go out and spend money unnecessarily, that we probably wouldn’t spend as a family for a toddler, maybe a 4 year old, but not a toddler.

Give her a set amount weekly and that's it. Define what its for. No manicures, nothing for her personal gain but entry fees or a small snack for both of them. Manicures and adult activities should not be done on work time.

Fee free to ignore this poster and go with your gut (to not put it in the handbook). Toddlers do not need to pay a small entry fee and snack to anything weekly. Occasional, special events...sure. Weekly? No.

[Anonymous]

I really only have this issue in the summer. However my kids like to do stuff the AP likes to do (kings dominion, water parks, movies, top golf) it add up tremendously for us. I'm often at $100/we depending on what's going on.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm in the minority in that I give my AP a CC. The rule is she has to discuss with me first if she's going somewhere special. Small snacks, occasional ice cream dates, picking up milk at the store, etc are ok and she hasn't abused it. I monitor it monthly and we haven't had issues but if there was a larger expense I would probably think twice before allowing them to visit that place again. I am also with the PP in that I schedule activities for my kids so she has a schedule to follow and honestly not much opportunity to "go rogue" so to speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really only have this issue in the summer. However my kids like to do stuff the AP likes to do (kings dominion, water parks, movies, top golf) it add up tremendously for us. I'm often at $100/we depending on what's going on.

If your kids are older, its reasonable if they are not in cap to pay for those kind of activities.