How many families pay above the minimum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay the stipend amount. 4 school age kids, 25-30 hrs/wk during school year, 45/week during summer. But, we’re also very respectful and kind to AP, cell phone paid for, Netflix available, car available for off duty use, we’re as flexible as possible with vacation requests and will often end up giving an extra week or two of vacation times depending on year.

Biggest factor is treating au pair decently. I could double the stipend and treat au pair like trash but I bet that would flip the happiness factor straight to misery. Well compensated misery I guess?

I absolutely agree with this. We will shortly start our 12th year of hosting. We do not pay more than the stipend. If a week is really taxing or required multiple changes, I will do a $20 gift card but not regularly enough that it's expected. We also do paid iphone, Netflix, car available, and extra vacation provided it works with my work/travel schedule. In addition, we make a point of telling our APs that we will treat them like adults - no curfew, their own car to use as they see fit, a credit card to use for household items/outings, and an open welcome for their friends to come over and stay over - as long as they act like adults. I have no interest in policing AP behavior, so an AP who didn't act like an adult would go to another family, not get extra rules in place. This hasn't happened in 11 years so I don't expect it to. We have no problem attracting highly sought APs, even with our small house and shared (with one child) bathroom, because we are clear that we are interested in AP as a person, supportive of their growth during their year with us, and proactive about engaging and welcoming them. 9 of our previous APs stay in touch, and 8 have come back to visit, several multiple times. I make sure I share the fact that we value our relationship with the AP in our introductory note, and we have no problem getting connections or matching when it's time. I agree that all the money in the world doesn't make a miserable relationship worth it. Several of our APs' friends have lived in enormous mansions with their own wing and a Range Rover to drive, but they were treated like help and not welcomed, and they looked wistfully at our APs who had their favorite soups made for them for lunch when I have time to cook, even with their small bedroom, standard stipend, and Toyota Carolla.

You assume that APs at least get one or the other. As we’ve seen from many HFS here, a number of APs are stuck with the worst of both worlds: few/no perks, cramped living quarters, no car on weekends *and* they are treated like the help,with maxed out hours, rigorous schedules, and curfews.

There are a lot of moms on this board who get offended when people mention their better perks and like to pretend they’re the only warm, kind family in the program even tho they pay the minimum and max out hours. It’s bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay federal minimum.wage, but starting at the minimum.

We've found all out out APs via closed FB networks. Word gets around feom.former APs and who is offering what and how the family dynamic plays out. We can easily bypass the system and quite frankly bump other families.

The stipend takes into account federal minimum wage. That is how they come up with the amount. It is federal minimum wage ($7.25 per hr) x 45 hrs less 40% for room and board.

Yes, everyone knows that. What is your point?

That some people like to say they’re on some moral high ground for paying federal minimum wage in addition to room and board. The rest of us are not immoral for paying the minimum stipend, because it’s set at minimum wage already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay federal minimum.wage, but starting at the minimum.

We've found all out out APs via closed FB networks. Word gets around feom.former APs and who is offering what and how the family dynamic plays out. We can easily bypass the system and quite frankly bump other families.

The stipend takes into account federal minimum wage. That is how they come up with the amount. It is federal minimum wage ($7.25 per hr) x 45 hrs less 40% for room and board.

Yes, everyone knows that. What is your point?

That some people like to say they’re on some moral high ground for paying federal minimum wage in addition to room and board. The rest of us are not immoral for paying the minimum stipend, because it’s set at minimum wage already.

First, no one said you’re immoral, but second, the federal minimum wage isn’t set by a morality barometer. I personally think the stipend amount is too low for the work my APs do and that they do $10/hr of work. You feel differently, that’s your business (as long as you’re following the rules exactly).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay federal minimum.wage, but starting at the minimum.

We've found all out out APs via closed FB networks. Word gets around feom.former APs and who is offering what and how the family dynamic plays out. We can easily bypass the system and quite frankly bump other families.

The stipend takes into account federal minimum wage. That is how they come up with the amount. It is federal minimum wage ($7.25 per hr) x 45 hrs less 40% for room and board.

Yes, everyone knows that. What is your point?

And there are families who pay the full minimum wage per hour worked, with the stipend as the minimum to be paid weekly. No deductions for room/board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay minimum. And your question is stupid.
But we also fly ap to Disney World for a week with a friend and they have their own room on property. That alone is $3500+. AP will work maybe 6-8 hours that week.

We will fly ap home once during their year home/or fly them anywhere in the USA. Value of 500-1000.

AP will live at beach house for most of summer, work 30 hours. Off by 4pm and at bars by 5pm all summer.
Try to put a value on that, basically every 20 somethings dream.

How is she buying food at Disney for a week when she makes such low wages??

We pay for her food while traveling.
We have flown boyfriends in when ap did not have other ap friends who.could travel during the trip.

Yes, we paid for air fare, food, and park access (with hopper and photopass) for ap and guest.

This is why the question was stupid.

Weekly wage is nothing compared to what the family actually provides. One of our AP's friends flies private air, EVERY WEEKEND.
The other AP is someone you see on TV all the time from the WH. Family on Air Force 1? Hard to put that in a profile or to contend with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay minimum. And your question is stupid.
But we also fly ap to Disney World for a week with a friend and they have their own room on property. That alone is $3500+. AP will work maybe 6-8 hours that week.

We will fly ap home once during their year home/or fly them anywhere in the USA. Value of 500-1000.

AP will live at beach house for most of summer, work 30 hours. Off by 4pm and at bars by 5pm all summer.
Try to put a value on that, basically every 20 somethings dream.

How is she buying food at Disney for a week when she makes such low wages??

We pay for her food while traveling.
We have flown boyfriends in when ap did not have other ap friends who.could travel during the trip.

Yes, we paid for air fare, food, and park access (with hopper and photopass) for ap and guest.

This is why the question was stupid.

Weekly wage is nothing compared to what the family actually provides. One of our AP's friends flies private air, EVERY WEEKEND.
The other AP is someone you see on TV all the time from the WH. Family on Air Force 1? Hard to put that in a profile or to contend with.

What a family provides has nothing to do with weekly wages. Usually when an AP flies its because of the family needs, not theirs. There is no additional cost to give Aupair and friend the photo pass so that isn't really a perk.

There is also a huge difference in 1-2 kids vs. 4 and what each has to do. Some are replacement parents and others just do the basic caretaking.

[Anonymous]

I don't get the comments about housing. More than likely you have that extra bedroom regardless of it is used so its not costing you any more and you have her/him living with you for your need, not theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the comments about housing. More than likely you have that extra bedroom regardless of it is used so its not costing you any more and you have her/him living with you for your need, not theirs.

Just trying to rationalize for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the comments about housing. More than likely you have that extra bedroom regardless of it is used so its not costing you any more and you have her/him living with you for your need, not theirs.

But if a young woman was to try to be a live-out nanny - she would have to pay a lot of money for housing in this area. So host families are providing a huge financial benefit to these au pairs. How do you possibly not understand that?

Putting the au pair program aside, this is why live-in nannies are paid less than live-out nannies even when the job is typically a lot harder.

How is this a hard concept to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the comments about housing. More than likely you have that extra bedroom regardless of it is used so its not costing you any more and you have her/him living with you for your need, not theirs.

Maybe not for you.

For us, it's definitely an expense. Welcome basket with tolietries, snacks, gift certificates, metro card, etc. New towels/sheets. Custom decorations specifically for incoming AP based on their likes.

Plus an extra adult is slightly more power/water/other utilities in addition to extra food.

It's nice if you're rich enough not to notice these costs. It definitely weighs into our budget and whether we go with AP vs nanny vs daycare, etc. decision because the cost is not strictly agency fee plus stipend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the comments about housing. More than likely you have that extra bedroom regardless of it is used so its not costing you any more and you have her/him living with you for your need, not theirs.

But if a young woman was to try to be a live-out nanny - she would have to pay a lot of money for housing in this area. So host families are providing a huge financial benefit to these au pairs. How do you possibly not understand that?

Putting the au pair program aside, this is why live-in nannies are paid less than live-out nannies even when the job is typically a lot harder.

How is this a hard concept to understand?

If a young woman was sent by an employer to NYC for work, and they put her in a very expensive hotel room, that's not effectively a "benefit" for the employee. She's being required to work in NYC. If a family lives in the Watergate and that extra bedroom costs them $$$ or lives in Olney and it costs them relatively less, the difference in those two bedrooms isn't reasonably part of the au pair's compensation package, any more than my employer paying in my hotel room in NYC vs Sioux Falls, SD is.

And, when calculating a live-in nanny's pay, you're only allowed to take the value of housing into consideration, for wage law compliance purposes, when the nanny has the option to live out if she so chooses. Otherwise, that's considered to be for your benefit, not the nanny's.

Is THAT hard for YOU to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the comments about housing. More than likely you have that extra bedroom regardless of it is used so its not costing you any more and you have her/him living with you for your need, not theirs.

But if a young woman was to try to be a live-out nanny - she would have to pay a lot of money for housing in this area. So host families are providing a huge financial benefit to these au pairs. How do you possibly not understand that?

Putting the au pair program aside, this is why live-in nannies are paid less than live-out nannies even when the job is typically a lot harder.

How is this a hard concept to understand?

If a young woman was sent by an employer to NYC for work, and they put her in a very expensive hotel room, that's not effectively a "benefit" for the employee. She's being required to work in NYC. If a family lives in the Watergate and that extra bedroom costs them $$$ or lives in Olney and it costs them relatively less, the difference in those two bedrooms isn't reasonably part of the au pair's compensation package, any more than my employer paying in my hotel room in NYC vs Sioux Falls, SD is.

And, when calculating a live-in nanny's pay, you're only allowed to take the value of housing into consideration, for wage law compliance purposes, when the nanny has the option to live out if she so chooses. Otherwise, that's considered to be for your benefit, not the nanny's.

Is THAT hard for YOU to understand?

A young woman could find affordable housing - live with a family member, in a group house, etc. The value of housing is more for the employer to have an extra adult in the house vs. that adult. Most don't want to live in someone else home under their rules and restrictions and quirks (look at the posts about food). You aren't paying the extra bedroom costs. You have a house size and regardless of if a live-in is there you will have that house and just have it as a kids room, office or guest room. You did not buy that house for the Au Pair. You may have picked a house for live-in child care but that only lasts so far.

If you travel for work, an employer gives you a hotel room and travel, that is not part of the compensation package but the requirement to do the job. The requirement is to live in. Most probably would rather be paid that extra money and live out of your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the comments about housing. More than likely you have that extra bedroom regardless of it is used so its not costing you any more and you have her/him living with you for your need, not theirs.

Maybe not for you.

For us, it's definitely an expense. Welcome basket with tolietries, snacks, gift certificates, metro card, etc. New towels/sheets. Custom decorations specifically for incoming AP based on their likes.

Plus an extra adult is slightly more power/water/other utilities in addition to extra food.

It's nice if you're rich enough not to notice these costs. It definitely weighs into our budget and whether we go with AP vs nanny vs daycare, etc. decision because the cost is not strictly agency fee plus stipend.

Or, pay them more and they can choose their own sheets/bedding and other stuff. Yes, it is an extra expense but its your choice to have someone live in. It isn't that much more for power/water/food/utilities. That's just an excuse. A welcome basket is a gift, not an expense. If you don't want to do it, then don't. Most people would rather go buy their own hair and other products of their choosing. Same with snacks. Metro card is more for them to take your kids places than for them. Maybe you shouldn't have had kids if child care is that much of an issue. You will have similar expenses regardless of which you choose, including staying at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the comments about housing. More than likely you have that extra bedroom regardless of it is used so its not costing you any more and you have her/him living with you for your need, not theirs.

Maybe not for you.

For us, it's definitely an expense. Welcome basket with tolietries, snacks, gift certificates, metro card, etc. New towels/sheets. Custom decorations specifically for incoming AP based on their likes.

Plus an extra adult is slightly more power/water/other utilities in addition to extra food.

It's nice if you're rich enough not to notice these costs. It definitely weighs into our budget and whether we go with AP vs nanny vs daycare, etc. decision because the cost is not strictly agency fee plus stipend.

Or, pay them more and they can choose their own sheets/bedding and other stuff. Yes, it is an extra expense but its your choice to have someone live in. It isn't that much more for power/water/food/utilities. That's just an excuse. A welcome basket is a gift, not an expense. If you don't want to do it, then don't. Most people would rather go buy their own hair and other products of their choosing. Same with snacks. Metro card is more for them to take your kids places than for them. Maybe you shouldn't have had kids if child care is that much of an issue. You will have similar expenses regardless of which you choose, including staying at home.

This is the most insulting, least helpful comment ever, especially on a parenting board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the comments about housing. More than likely you have that extra bedroom regardless of it is used so its not costing you any more and you have her/him living with you for your need, not theirs.

Maybe not for you.

For us, it's definitely an expense. Welcome basket with tolietries, snacks, gift certificates, metro card, etc. New towels/sheets. Custom decorations specifically for incoming AP based on their likes.

Plus an extra adult is slightly more power/water/other utilities in addition to extra food.

It's nice if you're rich enough not to notice these costs. It definitely weighs into our budget and whether we go with AP vs nanny vs daycare, etc. decision because the cost is not strictly agency fee plus stipend.

Or, pay them more and they can choose their own sheets/bedding and other stuff. Yes, it is an extra expense but its your choice to have someone live in. It isn't that much more for power/water/food/utilities. That's just an excuse. A welcome basket is a gift, not an expense. If you don't want to do it, then don't. Most people would rather go buy their own hair and other products of their choosing. Same with snacks. Metro card is more for them to take your kids places than for them. Maybe you shouldn't have had kids if child care is that much of an issue. You will have similar expenses regardless of which you choose, including staying at home.

This is the most insulting, least helpful comment ever, especially on a parenting board.

No, its not insulting. Its reality of having children. You don't have huge extra costs in terms of housing and other stuff as you already have a house large enough for a live in caretaker and you are looking for cheap care. If a one time welcome basket is that much of an issue then you got bigger issues.