Why are there families like this?

[Anonymous]

Sitter: warm body to feed kids and keep them alive

Nanny: someone who teaches manners and social skills, values education, challenges the children to grow and better themselves in independent ways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sitter: warm body to feed kids and keep them alive

Nanny: someone who teaches manners and social skills, values education, challenges the children to grow and better themselves in independent ways

That is both. Values education? Ok, so you value education, most people do. You want to use the term nanny as an elite status when most don't have degrees beyond college? All caretakers should be teaching manners, skills, etc.

[Anonymous]

The term “nanny” is an elite status. Most parents just pretend to have a nanny, but in reality they have an “affordable” sitter.

Here’s a clue:
When you have to give her ongoing direction, you have a sitter, not a nanny.
An experienced nanny can help first time parents navigate the many challenges of parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sitter: warm body to feed kids and keep them alive

Nanny: someone who teaches manners and social skills, values education, challenges the children to grow and better themselves in independent ways

That is both. Values education? Ok, so you value education, most people do. You want to use the term nanny as an elite status when most don't have degrees beyond college? All caretakers should be teaching manners, skills, etc.

This is where you keep messing up in your argument. You obviously haven’t been around educated nannies, so you assume your experiences are universal. They are not. Many nannies are educated and professional. They just tend to have a higher pay range. I don’t know you so I’m not going to say that their pay range is outside of your finances, but that is what it seems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The term “nanny” is an elite status. Most parents just pretend to have a nanny, but in reality they have an “affordable” sitter.

Here’s a clue:
When you have to give her ongoing direction, you have a sitter, not a nanny.
An experienced nanny can help first time parents navigate the many challenges of parenting.

No, you can give a nanny direction on how you want your child raised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The term “nanny” is an elite status. Most parents just pretend to have a nanny, but in reality they have an “affordable” sitter.

Here’s a clue:
When you have to give her ongoing direction, you have a sitter, not a nanny.
An experienced nanny can help first time parents navigate the many challenges of parenting.

No, you can give a nanny direction on how you want your child raised.

Smart parents will cover their child rearing philosophy during the interview, and ask a professional about her philosophy. Hopefully you’re wise enough to find someone who mostly agrees with you. If not, you’ll have issues.

[Anonymous]

A babysitter provides custodial care. They keep the child(ren) alive, feed them, and play with them or let them watch screens.

A nanny provides proactive care. They use their knowledge of child development and their experience/education to promote emotional, social, physical, and intellectual development. The best nannies can offer parents advice on how to manage new stages of growth and development, food issues, school concerns, and physical needs, among dozens of other things.

Nannies plan lessons and weekly learning themes, cook nutritious meals, ensure sufficient amounts of independent and outdoor play happen each day, research and suggest activities your children would enjoy, even take kids to doctor appointments. Nannies can take direction or can take charge, depending on what her employers prefer.

[Anonymous]

Op, the family or families you describe are simply different and not in a good way. The way they treat people and their money is probably consistent in their everyday life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A babysitter provides custodial care. They keep the child(ren) alive, feed them, and play with them or let them watch screens.

A nanny provides proactive care. They use their knowledge of child development and their experience/education to promote emotional, social, physical, and intellectual development. The best nannies can offer parents advice on how to manage new stages of growth and development, food issues, school concerns, and physical needs, among dozens of other things.

Nannies plan lessons and weekly learning themes, cook nutritious meals, ensure sufficient amounts of independent and outdoor play happen each day, research and suggest activities your children would enjoy, even take kids to doctor appointments. Nannies can take direction or can take charge, depending on what her employers prefer.

No, most nannies don't do all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A babysitter provides custodial care. They keep the child(ren) alive, feed them, and play with them or let them watch screens.

A nanny provides proactive care. They use their knowledge of child development and their experience/education to promote emotional, social, physical, and intellectual development. The best nannies can offer parents advice on how to manage new stages of growth and development, food issues, school concerns, and physical needs, among dozens of other things.

Nannies plan lessons and weekly learning themes, cook nutritious meals, ensure sufficient amounts of independent and outdoor play happen each day, research and suggest activities your children would enjoy, even take kids to doctor appointments. Nannies can take direction or can take charge, depending on what her employers prefer.

No, most nannies don't do all that.

Most of your “nannies” are really sitters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sitter: warm body to feed kids and keep them alive

Nanny: someone who teaches manners and social skills, values education, challenges the children to grow and better themselves in independent ways

That is both. Values education? Ok, so you value education, most people do. You want to use the term nanny as an elite status when most don't have degrees beyond college? All caretakers should be teaching manners, skills, etc.

Your sitter teaches manners? Interesting. Most sitters I know put kids to bed, turn on the TV and wait for parents to get home from their dates. Or they shuttle the kids from school to activities and warm up dinner while kids do homework. Neither one is there as more than a warm body and chauffeur.

A nanny is so much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The term “nanny” is an elite status. Most parents just pretend to have a nanny, but in reality they have an “affordable” sitter.

Here’s a clue:
When you have to give her ongoing direction, you have a sitter, not a nanny.
An experienced nanny can help first time parents navigate the many challenges of parenting.

No, you can give a nanny direction on how you want your child raised.

Smart parents will cover their child rearing philosophy during the interview, and ask a professional about her philosophy. Hopefully you’re wise enough to find someone who mostly agrees with you. If not, you’ll have issues.

And once you go over the main things, you're not micromanaging the day-to-day. Nannies don't need or want a daily list of instructions on how to bathe, diaper, feed, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A babysitter provides custodial care. They keep the child(ren) alive, feed them, and play with them or let them watch screens.

A nanny provides proactive care. They use their knowledge of child development and their experience/education to promote emotional, social, physical, and intellectual development. The best nannies can offer parents advice on how to manage new stages of growth and development, food issues, school concerns, and physical needs, among dozens of other things.

Nannies plan lessons and weekly learning themes, cook nutritious meals, ensure sufficient amounts of independent and outdoor play happen each day, research and suggest activities your children would enjoy, even take kids to doctor appointments. Nannies can take direction or can take charge, depending on what her employers prefer.

No, most nannies don't do all that.

Most nannies CAN do all that. Whether or not they do is up to the parent. If you don't want your nanny doing a weekly theme, she won't, but she'll teach letters and numbers through games and songs. If you don't want her to cook, she won't. If you don't want her to take kids to the doctor, it'll be up to you. But a nanny CAN and will if it's in the contract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: They don’t follow contract. Don’t pay on time. Treat their employers poorly. Are bad communicators. Basically are terrible employers and don’t keep a nanny for more than half a year.

But they don’t seem to care. Every time a nanny quits they don’t seem fazed. On to the next poor soul.
..

How are you privvy to this info? Are you their friend? Are you the nanny that has experienced these high HHI families? Are you aware that a HHI of $200k might seem high, but that they most likely can’t afford that $12-$16 hour nanny? The family pays taxes on their income, they incur expenses such as gas or metro fare to commute to work, plus incidentals such as extra work clothes. Then they have to pay the nanny.
As an example, I earned around $85k. After paying income and SS taxes, my health insurance and 401k, and paying a nanny’s rate FT hours, I net about $1000 or something a month. The nanny’s take home pay was way higher than mine. Ok, so if we add back the amounts for health insurance and 401k as those are my personal stuff, I was still making a net amount LESS than my nanny. It was very discouraging.

Or think of it this way. To pay a nanny $20/hr, the parent has to earn at least around $40 to break even. For the parent to take home $20 after paying the nanny, they need to be earning $60. That translates into a six figures job, which is not easy to get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: They don’t follow contract. Don’t pay on time. Treat their employers poorly. Are bad communicators. Basically are terrible employers and don’t keep a nanny for more than half a year.

But they don’t seem to care. Every time a nanny quits they don’t seem fazed. On to the next poor soul.
..

How are you privvy to this info? Are you their friend? Are you the nanny that has experienced these high HHI families? Are you aware that a HHI of $200k might seem high, but that they most likely can’t afford that $12-$16 hour nanny? The family pays taxes on their income, they incur expenses such as gas or metro fare to commute to work, plus incidentals such as extra work clothes. Then they have to pay the nanny.
As an example, I earned around $85k. After paying income and SS taxes, my health insurance and 401k, and paying a nanny’s rate FT hours, I net about $1000 or something a month. The nanny’s take home pay was way higher than mine. Ok, so if we add back the amounts for health insurance and 401k as those are my personal stuff, I was still making a net amount LESS than my nanny. It was very discouraging.

Or think of it this way. To pay a nanny $20/hr, the parent has to earn at least around $40 to break even. For the parent to take home $20 after paying the nanny, they need to be earning $60. That translates into a six figures job, which is not easy to get.

NP here. Nothing in your post addresses the OP’s statement.

I am a nanny who has worked with extremely wealthy parents as well as struggling graduate students. My graduate student parents always paid me on time, followed our contract, communicated brilliantly and were open with and respectful of me. It has nothing to do with an employer’s income.