Nanny jealousy issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's sounds very loving op. You won't get that kind of 1 on 1 with daycare. It sounds like you need to learn how to communicate better with your nanny. I used to want to take my charges home with me too! Occasionally I would ask the parents if I could hang out with just the baby after work. The nursing thing is weird but tell her you want privacy.

You need a life outside of your job.

That was 10 years ago in my early 20s and I took care of a toddler as well. Both parents were in medical school and they had no problems with me doing this occasionally.

[Anonymous]

This is super creepy, OP. I would look for a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Update, OP?

[Anonymous]

Hello there. This is for the beautiful mother who posted the original question.

Hope you and your son are past the Nanny issue. I wanted to check with you on how did it go with you later and what steps you took to handle this situation?

I am a mother of 4 months old son and an engineer by profession. I too WFH in pandemic. I have a live-in Nanny who is exactly like what you mentioned about your Nanny. Mine also tells me not to kiss the boy on his face, tells me super stupid suggestions on my house stuff and childcare. It's hard for her to stay focus on only child care and wants to be included in house. I completely understand she is trying to help, but I am capable of handling my life and home and pushback on everything she says. In early days when I let her do what she wanted ( gardening, light house stuff etc) , she started taking decision without asking my approval, even with the kid. Example bringing her own cleaning liquid to wash baby bottle instead of using the one I bought..

I now keep my communication with her short and business like.. Only relevant to the topic being discussed.

Honestly, I do get exhausted mentally with this situation and may not continue after her 6 months contract or request her to work as live-out Nanny. She may not like it, in which case I may find a new helper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello there. This is for the beautiful mother who posted the original question.

Hope you and your son are past the Nanny issue. I wanted to check with you on how did it go with you later and what steps you took to handle this situation?

I am a mother of 4 months old son and an engineer by profession. I too WFH in pandemic. I have a live-in Nanny who is exactly like what you mentioned about your Nanny. Mine also tells me not to kiss the boy on his face, tells me super stupid suggestions on my house stuff and childcare. It's hard for her to stay focus on only child care and wants to be included in house. I completely understand she is trying to help, but I am capable of handling my life and home and pushback on everything she says. In early days when I let her do what she wanted ( gardening, light house stuff etc) , she started taking decision without asking my approval, even with the kid. Example bringing her own cleaning liquid to wash baby bottle instead of using the one I bought..

I now keep my communication with her short and business like.. Only relevant to the topic being discussed.

Honestly, I do get exhausted mentally with this situation and may not continue after her 6 months contract or request her to work as live-out Nanny. She may not like it, in which case I may find a new helper.

Sounds like you didn’t want a nanny, let alone a live-in nanny . You’re definitely more suited to daycare or a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I She can't wait for him to be one year old and able to drink cow's milk so that she can feed him without my pumped milk and without me nursing. She always says she wants to take him home to her house with her.

Sounds a little creepy to me! Like she wants him for herself.

Many red flags here. I’d let her go asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I She can't wait for him to be one year old and able to drink cow's milk so that she can feed him without my pumped milk and without me nursing. She always says she wants to take him home to her house with her.

Sounds a little creepy to me! Like she wants him for herself.

Many red flags here. I’d let her go asap.

Thousands of red flags here. This is super creepy please pay her out 2 weeks and make up any excuse to cut ties covid, hours reduced, relative moving in -whatever! Change your number/block her. I’m a nanny and a parent and this creeps me out. You’re not crazy it’s called a gut feeling and you know what you need to do. Good luck mom

[Anonymous]

I'm Hispanic and I get paid $25 per hour and OT. They work for the government. And they were looking a nanny who speaks fluently Spanish to her girls. I also had nanny jobs that the pay wasn't great like $15 but those kids were so nice that I couldn't say no. Every family is a precious memory. I always teach what is logical, good manners, redirect, etc. I care about what they eat. It's simple. I never needed education. And over the years working with children made me wanna learn more about the early childhood development. And it's simple.
I'm a nanny since I came to this country and now I wanna become a teacher. I love teaching.
And there's bad hispanics and bad lazy white nannies too. Even if you're educated doesn't mean she's a good empathetic person.

My aunt has a family childcare in Virginia and all her customers are people who works with FBI, White House, etc. They hear such good reviews about my aunt. The parents love her hispanic healthy food, good manners, teachings and love to their children.

[Anonymous]

For those ignorant people, don't be afraid about foreign languages. It's a good thing to learn as much as you can like a new language. Kids brain from 0 to 3 years old are like sponges learning so fast that they can learn a full new language. Adults have harder time learning new a new language. We live in an interconnected World. You can't close yourself in a bubble forever.

[Anonymous]

I'm Hispanic and your nanny is not professional. Maybe she's used to and parents let her since she has experience with children. Idk.

OP
Sounds like a grandma or mother in law...but she isn't :'3 You have to set boundaries. It's your house. Say i will brb. Go to your baby's room and lock the door and feed your baby. Say I need some space when I'm with my baby. Also give them space to your nanny and baby. That's why you hire a nanny to take care of your baby.
If you feel uncomfortable then find another nanny.

Use straight and neutral communication. If it doesn't work then find another nanny stay home.

[Anonymous]

*Or stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oooh you didnt know there are poor Americans who can only afford a Nanny for $12 per hour? Are you gonna help those poor good families or just criticize behind the screen and do nothing?
I'm Hispanic and I get paid very good, have OT, holidays and vacations paid. I had nanny jobs for $15 per hour befire but is alright. I loved thier kids and I felt very appreciated and welcomed. Sometimes is better to find a good family and not a bad family who pays well.

[b]

"Get paid very good"... *I am paid very well.

Do you also teach these kids your English? You get what you pay for.

Wow NAZI Grammer! Everyone understood what she said. It's so obvious...

I hope your kids don't ended up like you with so much hate. If you don't understand when someone is speaking English as a second language then try to understand, it's so obvious what she was saying...
You didn't need to be a Nazi Grammer. Your soul stinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oooh you didnt know there are poor Americans who can only afford a Nanny for $12 per hour? Are you gonna help those poor good families or just criticize behind the screen and do nothing?
I'm Hispanic and I get paid very good, have OT, holidays and vacations paid. I had nanny jobs for $15 per hour befire but is alright. I loved thier kids and I felt very appreciated and welcomed. Sometimes is better to find a good family and not a bad family who pays well.

[b]

"Get paid very good"... *I am paid very well.

Do you also teach these kids your English? You get what you pay for.

And BTW ignorant human. The parents pays her to speak only Spanish to their kids like most famiies. It's so obvious or are you an idiot or a racist?
I've seen two American white girls raised by their grandma and one of them can't speak at all at 2 years old age. Grandma gave only attention to the extrovert one than the one who needed help. Its not about languages. It's about communication.
And kids learns English from their parents abd school. So obvious, everyone knows that. Oops not you Nazi Grammer.



My boss pays me $25 per hour to speak only in Spanish and cook healthy foods to their girls.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am a Nanny myself & think your Nanny is more than unprofessional…

She definitely does sound extremely jealous as well as competitive.

I love my charges (both past + present!) to the moon and back.
Yet my love for them is always going to take a backseat to their parent’s - and it does not bother me in the very least.
I love to see my charges get excited when their parents return.

I can respect healthy boundaries >> it sounds like your Nanny cannot.
Besides, WHO talks to a child while that child is actively nursing????!!

I would let the Nanny go & find a brand-new one.
Just because your current Nanny is a bit of a weirdo does not mean you should just send your son off to daycare.

He is a little too young for that.
Trust me, the vast majority of available Nannies out there are nothing like the one you have now.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

*I said your child is too young for daycare because at his age, socialization is not really a priority.

Since you can afford an in-home Nanny, then that is your best option.
A Nanny can provide the individual personal attention that is so important at his life stage.