Looking for a live-in nanny for twins in Mclean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: There are two categories of live in nannies.

The first group is experienced and often highly educated career nannies who specialize in providing tailored and often round the clock or very flexible care to high net worth families for very high rate.

The second group is primarily nannies who are young/inexperienced. These nannies view living in as a way to live either in a better neighborhood/region than they could otherwise afford with minimal expenses. If you are a nice young lady from the Midwest who just wants to live near a major city but doesn’t want to deal with figuring out roommates or finding a decent paying job that will allow you to support yourself in a big city, then working as a nanny for a few years might be a good way to get familiar with a new area within the comfortable structure of family life. These nannies will charge you if you dollars below the going rate to care for your children because they view living in as a perk rather than a drawback of the job.

Some live in nannies like myself are a mixture of the two . I have years of experience as a career live in nanny. I've worked around the clock a few times and I've had jobs where I've had to be very flexible. Most of my live in jobs however have been very straight forward, typically 7-6 Monday through Friday. I am from the west coast and when I'm in between live in jobs on the east coast I go back home and I travel. I enjoy being a live in nanny because I can save almost all of my paycheck. I don't make a lot of money but I love my job and I can't imagine doing anything else .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I am interested in this live in nanny position. How can I get ahold of you?

OP here. What's your rate?

It is so very interesting that this is your first question to a potential LIVE-IN NANNY. Any interest that I may have had in such a job would evaporate with this comment. If I am going to be living in your home, sharing a house and amenities with a family, I need to have different conversations (PLURAL) about expectations, personalities, setting boundaries, do's and dont's, kids discipline, etc etc. Yes money is always an important factor but for someone who will be sharing your personal space full time, it should not be the primary factor.

My thoughts exactly.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who is fantastic! She's looking for another live in job because the current family isn't a good fit. Can you post a way to get a hold of you.? This sounds like the kind of family she is looking for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The last time I accepted a live-in position, I earned $25/hr + generous benefits package. Living-in is a huge loss of privacy, unless you have a totally separate dwelling on the estate.

OP here. We certainly don't have an "estate" We have a nice sized 5BR/5BA house. There's only us four, which means MBR for us, one or two BRs for the kids, which still leaves 2 extra BRs. There's even a huge "play area" (if you wanna think of it that way) on the second floor that can be used as a BR if need be.

And I have to be honest, $25/hr + generous benefits is not something we can afford. Ballpark would in the $15 range. If that means, a live-in nanny is not an option, so be it. We'll look at live out nannies.

Op you can find great live in candidates for 15 per hr.

+1. The person who wants 25+ plus full room and board is out of their mind.
We have a live in nanny. We pay 15 an hour- guaranteed hours of 40 a week. (overtime for anything over 40). We also pay for 2 college classes at NOVA. Full use of a car. Private bedroom and bathroom with semi private living area.
I think what makes a live in situation work/not work is to be pretty clear about what are working hours and what are off hours. So if nanny works 9-5, at 5pm she is free to leave. She might choose to stay and have dinner, or she might choose to go hide in her room, or whatever.
Also- you don't want job creep, but do think about chores. Its best to think about this up front- this will be an adult member of the family.

The $25 is what I got. Don't be so nasty.

[Anonymous]

OP, $15.00/hr for a live in is fair and you'll find someone good. I saw your comment about maybe just having a live-out. You'll pay more for a live out nanny,
Especially one caring for toddler twins. $18/hr+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$15/hr minimum. Having a live in doesn't save you a ton of money like many parents believe. I actually have friends who pay a live in more money then they'd pay a live out. You're paying for the convenience and the nanny is giving up a lot. Also, live in nannies must also be paid over time so if they go over 40 hours, you need to pay time and a half. you have toddler twins so you should be looking at a minimum of $600/week

What "convenience" is the OP paying for, vs a live out Nanny? 8 hours is 8 hours, live in or live out.

Sure but if there is bad weather, the nanny won't have the possibility of being late or absent from work due to the weather. No car problems or any issues like that. If the family needs her to work later, the nanny won't have to worry about a commute home. If they need her to start early, shouldn't be an issue as again, she's already in the house.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Appreciate all the responses, now I have a number of things to think about.

For privacy reasons, I'm hesitant to post my contact info online (my work is also of a sensitive nature). I'll setup a separate email address and post that shortly.

[Anonymous]

MB of twins here. We considered live-in but ended up sticking w/ live out nannies.

I think you've gotten some good advice, it sounds like you have good space, and $15/hr (combined w/ good living conditions and a clear scope of duties) seems like a competitive package.

My advice to you is to take a very professional approach to this in the beginning - focus less on the "integrating with the family" part and more on the specifics of the scope of work, compensation package (inclusive of housing details), clear boundaries about working versus non-working hours, etc...

I have learned that boundaries and clarity around the employer/employee relationship are important and helpful. Yes, a nanny will (ideally) become a treasured part of the family, but first and foremost that person is working for you. You need to be professional in your interactions and expectations and how you treat them so that you can reasonably expect them to be professional in their job and interactions with you. If the relationship ends up becoming a long standing one then the more personal, familial nature of the relationship will happen automatically - but if you focus on that first then you run the risk of not establishing the job expectations well enough. It's VERY hard to back out of a relationship that has become too personal - it's much easier to build that personal connection on a solid working relationship.

Talk w/ other parents who have had nannies and get their advice about this kind of thing. And don't dismiss the ones that sound hardened about the critical nature of contracts, expectations, etc...

Good luck! (And congrats on the twins!)

Also, I'd offer that the nanny who was the salvation for us when our twins were infants and toddlers ended up not being a good fit once our kids were older and in preschool/prek etc... The nanny we have now is someone we hired in a nanny/housekeeper role so that as the kids aged and needed less "nannying" the full-time job became more housekeeper/child management. This was a really different kind of person than the experienced twin baby nanny of the first couple of years. Both are fantastic people, and have come to feel like part of the family (to some extent) but neither would have been the right solution at different ages of the kids. Just something to consider if you're considering having a live-in who might be with you for years.

As I said, I didn't go the live-in route, but if you do I think you should get some advice on how to write a contract that covers how a position ends, how housing is handled if you need to terminate the employee, how housing ends if you "age out" of needing a nanny, etc... The complications around having someone living in your home when a position might be ending (as it almost certainly will at some point) seem well worth exploring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB of twins here. We considered live-in but ended up sticking w/ live out nannies.

I think you've gotten some good advice, it sounds like you have good space, and $15/hr (combined w/ good living conditions and a clear scope of duties) seems like a competitive package.

My advice to you is to take a very professional approach to this in the beginning - focus less on the "integrating with the family" part and more on the specifics of the scope of work, compensation package (inclusive of housing details), clear boundaries about working versus non-working hours, etc...

I have learned that boundaries and clarity around the employer/employee relationship are important and helpful. Yes, a nanny will (ideally) become a treasured part of the family, but first and foremost that person is working for you. You need to be professional in your interactions and expectations and how you treat them so that you can reasonably expect them to be professional in their job and interactions with you. If the relationship ends up becoming a long standing one then the more personal, familial nature of the relationship will happen automatically - but if you focus on that first then you run the risk of not establishing the job expectations well enough. It's VERY hard to back out of a relationship that has become too personal - it's much easier to build that personal connection on a solid working relationship.

Talk w/ other parents who have had nannies and get their advice about this kind of thing. And don't dismiss the ones that sound hardened about the critical nature of contracts, expectations, etc...

Good luck! (And congrats on the twins!)

Also, I'd offer that the nanny who was the salvation for us when our twins were infants and toddlers ended up not being a good fit once our kids were older and in preschool/prek etc... The nanny we have now is someone we hired in a nanny/housekeeper role so that as the kids aged and needed less "nannying" the full-time job became more housekeeper/child management. This was a really different kind of person than the experienced twin baby nanny of the first couple of years. Both are fantastic people, and have come to feel like part of the family (to some extent) but neither would have been the right solution at different ages of the kids. Just something to consider if you're considering having a live-in who might be with you for years.

As I said, I didn't go the live-in route, but if you do I think you should get some advice on how to write a contract that covers how a position ends, how housing is handled if you need to terminate the employee, how housing ends if you "age out" of needing a nanny, etc... The complications around having someone living in your home when a position might be ending (as it almost certainly will at some point) seem well worth exploring.

As a live in nanny I've never had a contact say anything about how things work when the job ends. I typically fly out the day after my last day. However I can see how stating that within 1 day of employment ending nanny must move out of employers hone. Usually I have plenty of notice when a job is ending so it's never been an issue. It's never been complicated for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Appreciate all the responses, now I have a number of things to think about.

For privacy reasons, I'm hesitant to post my contact info online (my work is also of a sensitive nature). I'll setup a separate email address and post that shortly.

OP here. Here's how to contact me - [e-mail]

If you're contacting me about the position, please include the following:

- Name
- Male/Female
- Age - Not trying to differentiate, but two infants/toddlers can be tough to handle.
- Ethnicity - I'm not trying to differentiate based on it, just trying to get an idea about you and if you'll fit in.
- Native language? Speak English well? Close enough?
- Where do you live right now? I'm trying to see if there'll be any logistical issues. I don't need your full address, city/state is fine.
- Are you legally authorized to work in the US for any employer without sponsorship?
- Do you have any disability that may prevent you from handling two babies within their normal day? (i.e. picking them up, giving them a bath etc etc)


- Are you looking for live-in/live-out? Our childcare needs are 8:30AM to 4:30PM, Mon-Friday in general with the occasional exception.
- Rate? (based on the question above)
- Do you have your own car? (Making sure parking logistics are taken care of, if need be)
- Can you/have you driven a minivan before? Will you need lessons/practice to do this? The van already has child seats, stroller in the trunk etc etc. But a van is a big vehicle, I need to make sure you can handle it.
- Do you have a cell phone? Will you be using that if you have one, or do you need us to provide one, or do you need us to pay for yours?
- Do you have health insurance right now? Will you need us to provide it?

- Please provide a short summary of your experience especially if you've handled twins in the past. A good example would be, how you'd spend a typical day with one or two 12 month olds.
- Are you available to meet face to face in the DC area, if I decide to interview you?

I think that should give me enough information to make some decisions. You can choose not to provide some of this information, if you feel it is inappropriate or any other reason you can think of. I'll try to work with what I get.

Again, I'm very inexperienced at this, so if I make mistakes, bear with me.

[Anonymous]

Ethnicity? O_O

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ethnicity? O_O

Sorry, force of habit. I own a software company, and I picked some of these bits from the information we ask from prospective engineers.

[Anonymous]

OP, just some advice - state what you're lookiing for, what your minimum requirements are, and possibly what your compensation range might be. It will help you streamline the process and will be more clear. You'll also look more decisive and professional. For instance:

Seeking nanny with experience working with twins for live-in position. 40 hours per week guaranteed, competitive vacation package, private room/bath/living area, and vehicle provided for use during work hours.

You must be: legal to work in the US, have a clean driving record and feel comfortable driving a minivan, able to easily run after/lift/carry twin toddlers, non-smoking, fluent in english, able to provide excellent references, and fully trustworthy.

The ideal applicant will have significant experience with twins (infancy through preschool), prior experience as a live-in (w/ references for that position(s), will love the challenges of working with twins and at this age group, etc...

State all your requirements around the needs of the position (like the able to run and lift versus asking age).

I would really encourage you to get some more advice, perhaps speak with an agency or two (it will give you great insight as to how to think about the job you're filling when you hear how an agency gathers information), and put some time into reading sample contract language and best practices. There is lots of info on the web if you do a search, and in forums like these.

You sound very well-intentioned but very, very green at this and you can screw up this hire pretty easily if you're not careful. Some of the way you're phrasing your questions above is actually illegal so I really encourage you to do some research.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

No, OP. There is absolutely no excuse for asking ethnicity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Be careful about how you advertise for this job. Because what I'm reading through is you're going to expect more from the person than what is expected.
Why mentioning the occasionel help if you don't expect it?
Integrating with your family ... vs a job. WRONG. This is a job and you are the employer. This is not a cousin that's going to join your family but a worker.

Keep things professional and you'll be happy

-Nanny

OP here. May be I didn't word it as well as I could have with the "occasional help" thing.

What I was trying to say was that assuming your 8 hour day is up, and since you're a live-in, if you end up let's say making dinner for the babies (which would be outside of the 8 hours) WITHOUT our asking, then that's welcome, but not expected. You can as easily say No and that's perfectly acceptable.

As far as "integrating with our family..." the point I was trying to get across was specifically with the live-in situation, since we've never had that before. You're gonna be living with us, eating with us, relaxing with us and what not. It'd be nice to consider that person as part of our household than an employee. With an employee, I'd ask them to leave the family room in the evening, if we're relaxing there, vs "integrating with our family" which implies you're as much a part of our family as us, and we don't feel awkward around you during non-working hours.

I hope that came across the way I'm thinking in my head...

nooooooo, no no no no.

We have a live in who basically has her own apartment. We are in DC, she is in the separate basement apartment. She has her own kitchen, television room, bathroom, bedroom, and her own entrance. I'm absolutely POSITIVE that she has no desire to lounge about in our family room in the evening. NO live in nanny would ever want to do that.

Get an AuPair if you want to "host" someone.