Reply to Looking for a live-in nanny for twins in Mclean

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[quote=Anonymous]MB of twins here.  We considered live-in but ended up sticking w/ live out nannies.

I think you've gotten some good advice, it sounds like you have good space, and $15/hr (combined w/ good living conditions and a clear scope of duties) seems like a competitive package.

My advice to you is to take a very professional approach to this in the beginning - focus less on the "integrating with the family" part and more on the specifics of the scope of work, compensation package (inclusive of housing details), clear boundaries about working versus non-working hours, etc...

I have learned that boundaries and clarity around the employer/employee relationship are important and helpful.  Yes, a nanny will (ideally) become a treasured part of the family, but first and foremost that person is working for you.  You need to be professional in your interactions and expectations and how you treat them so that you can reasonably expect them to be professional in their job and interactions with you.  If the relationship ends up becoming a long standing one then the more personal, familial nature of the relationship will happen automatically - but if you focus on that first then you run the risk of not establishing the job expectations well enough.  It's VERY hard to back out of a relationship that has become too personal - it's much easier to build that personal connection on a solid working relationship.

Talk w/ other parents who have had nannies and get their advice about this kind of thing.  And don't dismiss the ones that sound hardened about the critical nature of contracts, expectations, etc...

Good luck!  (And congrats on the twins!)

Also, I'd offer that the nanny who was the salvation for us when our twins were infants and toddlers ended up not being a good fit once our kids were older and in preschool/prek etc...   The nanny we have now is someone we hired in a nanny/housekeeper role so that as the kids aged and needed less "nannying" the full-time job became more housekeeper/child management.  This was a really different kind of person than the experienced twin baby nanny of the first couple of years.  Both are fantastic people, and have come to feel like part of the family (to some extent) but neither would have been the right solution at different ages of the kids.  Just something to consider if you're considering having a live-in who might be with you for years.

As I said, I didn't go the live-in route, but if you do I think you should get some advice on how to write a contract that covers how a position ends, how housing is handled if you need to terminate the employee, how housing ends if you "age out" of needing a nanny, etc...  The complications around having someone living in your home when a position might be ending (as it almost certainly will at some point) seem well worth exploring.
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