Vacationing with Temp Family and...

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I'm not surprised that OP is staying a different hotel. As long as it's clean and that rides are provided or that it's by walking distance, it'd be fine for me.

I've felt much better once I have realized us nannies will NEVER EVER really be "part of the family" and therefore shouldn't expect anything. It's there fine, it's not, fine as well. They don't owe you anything besides respect and your wage.

[Anonymous]

Update.

I found out this family won't be paying for my meals but that my hourly wage included my meal and activity money.

I called the agency that placed me and they pulled me.

Glad my agency has my back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update.

I found out this family won't be paying for my meals but that my hourly wage included my meal and activity money.

I called the agency that placed me and they pulled me.

Glad my agency has my back.

Maybe they do, but it seems to me that they owed you finding out the details of the job. What is an agency for is it doesn't help both parties ask the questions that need asking to ensure a good match?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update.

I found out this family won't be paying for my meals but that my hourly wage included my meal and activity money.

I called the agency that placed me and they pulled me.

Glad my agency has my back.

Good for you OP!
Did they try to negotiate before you left? Did you leave? I want more details!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update.

I found out this family won't be paying for my meals but that my hourly wage included my meal and activity money.

I called the agency that placed me and they pulled me.

Glad my agency has my back.

If you are through an agency this should have been worked out with the agency. It makes no sense what you are saying. If they drove you up, how did you get back? It is not reasonable to expect a 5 star hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update.

I found out this family won't be paying for my meals but that my hourly wage included my meal and activity money.

I called the agency that placed me and they pulled me.

Glad my agency has my back.

If you are through an agency this should have been worked out with the agency. It makes no sense what you are saying. If they drove you up, how did you get back? It is not reasonable to expect a 5 star hotel.

+1 this doesn't add up. No agency would "pull you" unless the family had done something truly horrifying (sorry, putting you up in a motel doesn't count) or gone back on a contract, but it doesn't even sound like you had anything in writing.

I'm a nanny and have traveled with some NFs and in most cases they haven't paid for my meals, unless they were meals on the clock; usually one or at most two per day. You said in your first post the family is "paying you well," so it makes sense that they thought food, etc would be included in your pay. Also I agree that, while they should've told you about your accommodations at the motel in advance, there is really nothing wrong with them putting you up there, especially if it's just a few blocks away like you said it was.

The fact that none of this was previously addressed makes me question that any agency was involved, because they would've made sure all these details were discussed and agreed to beforehand. It feels like you came here expecting pity, didn't get what you wanted, and are now trying to make it seem like you've "won."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update.

I found out this family won't be paying for my meals but that my hourly wage included my meal and activity money.

I called the agency that placed me and they pulled me.

Glad my agency has my back.

So you left and are now back home? I hope so, OP. Those people sound horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a tough one, especially in this country, with so much history of segregation, separate entrances for "help," etc. If you were at a 4-start hotel next door, it would be hard to complain, although they would hardly win best employer award. But putting you up at a motel demonstrates either that they are tone deaf when it comes to social manners (best case scenario), or that they enjoy the fact that they have help staying outside of their fancy venue (worst case scenario).

If this were me, I would provide great childcare service but would definitely speak up about how the arrangement made me feel and I might ask them how they arrived at the decision. Let them think about this while on vacation. *evil grin*

Why wouldn't you assume they'd done it to save money? That seems like the no brainer explanation to me. Vacations are expensive. Bringing a nanny is extra expensive. People can be well enough off to manage both but not so well off that the money doesn't matter. Trying to save money isn't evil and the parents shouldn't feel badly about it.

[Anonymous]

I assume that this agency is one of the ones that basically just makes introductions. That's not really having OP's back, though, or they would have found out these details before placing her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a tough one, especially in this country, with so much history of segregation, separate entrances for "help," etc. If you were at a 4-start hotel next door, it would be hard to complain, although they would hardly win best employer award. But putting you up at a motel demonstrates either that they are tone deaf when it comes to social manners (best case scenario), or that they enjoy the fact that they have help staying outside of their fancy venue (worst case scenario).

If this were me, I would provide great childcare service but would definitely speak up about how the arrangement made me feel and I might ask them how they arrived at the decision. Let them think about this while on vacation. *evil grin*

Why wouldn't you assume they'd done it to save money? That seems like the no brainer explanation to me. Vacations are expensive. Bringing a nanny is extra expensive. People can be well enough off to manage both but not so well off that the money doesn't matter. Trying to save money isn't evil and the parents shouldn't feel badly about it.

Vacations are expensive. Childcare is expensive. You are right. But if families that are going to 5 star hotels for vacation have to be cutting corners to save money and cheapening on the childcare then it means they cannot afford said vacations. Either Vacation in a different place or take care of your children yourselves, hire a local sitter for your night outs on vacation, etc.
The only way this would have been reasonable is like a pp mentioned earlier and it makes much more sense. That they booked this vacation a long time ago and later decided to bring someone and the hotel is fully booked, hence the need of a different hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a tough one, especially in this country, with so much history of segregation, separate entrances for "help," etc. If you were at a 4-start hotel next door, it would be hard to complain, although they would hardly win best employer award. But putting you up at a motel demonstrates either that they are tone deaf when it comes to social manners (best case scenario), or that they enjoy the fact that they have help staying outside of their fancy venue (worst case scenario).

If this were me, I would provide great childcare service but would definitely speak up about how the arrangement made me feel and I might ask them how they arrived at the decision. Let them think about this while on vacation. *evil grin*

Why wouldn't you assume they'd done it to save money? That seems like the no brainer explanation to me. Vacations are expensive. Bringing a nanny is extra expensive. People can be well enough off to manage both but not so well off that the money doesn't matter. Trying to save money isn't evil and the parents shouldn't feel badly about it.

Uh no. Being an employer is expensive. If you can't afford to do it properly, don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume that this agency is one of the ones that basically just makes introductions. That's not really having OP's back, though, or they would have found out these details before placing her.

If that's the case then they wouldn't "pull" the nanny as she claims; it would be up to the nanny to leave. Perhaps she would need to notify the agency but otherwise, if it's an agency that solely sets up parents and nannies to meet without any further involvement, then the way OP is presenting this STILL doesn't add up.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't sound like there was airfare involved either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Vacations are expensive. Childcare is expensive. You are right. But if families that are going to 5 star hotels for vacation have to be cutting corners to save money and cheapening on the childcare then it means they cannot afford said vacations. Either Vacation in a different place or take care of your children yourselves, hire a local sitter for your night outs on vacation, etc.
The only way this would have been reasonable is like a pp mentioned earlier and it makes much more sense. That they booked this vacation a long time ago and later decided to bring someone and the hotel is fully booked, hence the need of a different hotel.

or like most Corporate workers who travel- they accumulate a ton of hotel points from business travel during the year, and use all those points to go on a 1 week vacation/year at the 5 star hotel. That's how over 20 of my working friends manage to take a nice vacation every year. They are not paying/can't afford $600/night for a hotel room, and don't have enough points to book an extra hotel room for the nanny.
And yes, I routinely fly Coach while my boss flies first class, and stay in 3 star hotel, while he stays at the Ritz or Peninsula.
So, I am shocked that a nanny would be "offended" to have to stay at a more reasonable nearby hotel/motel. It's a job. Get over it. (However, meals and transportation should be paid for, just like they are for corporate travel- and you should tell your employer that)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Vacations are expensive. Childcare is expensive. You are right. But if families that are going to 5 star hotels for vacation have to be cutting corners to save money and cheapening on the childcare then it means they cannot afford said vacations. Either Vacation in a different place or take care of your children yourselves, hire a local sitter for your night outs on vacation, etc.
The only way this would have been reasonable is like a pp mentioned earlier and it makes much more sense. That they booked this vacation a long time ago and later decided to bring someone and the hotel is fully booked, hence the need of a different hotel.

or like most Corporate workers who travel- they accumulate a ton of hotel points from business travel during the year, and use all those points to go on a 1 week vacation/year at the 5 star hotel. That's how over 20 of my working friends manage to take a nice vacation every year. They are not paying/can't afford $600/night for a hotel room, and don't have enough points to book an extra hotel room for the nanny.
And yes, I routinely fly Coach while my boss flies first class, and stay in 3 star hotel, while he stays at the Ritz or Peninsula.
So, I am shocked that a nanny would be "offended" to have to stay at a more reasonable nearby hotel/motel. It's a job. Get over it. (However, meals and transportation should be paid for, just like they are for corporate travel- and you should tell your employer that)

Wow really? I ALWAYS stay in the same property as my boss. Demeaning.