Beyond furious

[Anonymous]

OP here and thank you for all the responses - it has been illuminating.

UPDATE: MB send me an apology text by noon and had already made an arrangement with her mother (who lives nearby) to come over every Wednesday,a half hour before my end time, just in case she is late again. She also mentioned that I don't always charge her when she is late and she told me that my generosity has not gone unnoticed. I apologized for being so unforgiving and she said she completely understood as she knows the situation with my former charge and how much he means to me.

I was my former charge's nanny from birth until he was 2.5 when his father suddenly died (an unknown heart problem) and my former MB could no longer afford me even though I cut my rate and offered to cut it even further and work off the books. So my former charge started daycare and I see him on weekends (for free, of course) just to give him some security and stability. He is now almost 4 and being late to pick him up from daycare simply is not an option in my book.

An emotional 24 hours and I am exhausted! Thank you, again, for responding.

[Anonymous]

I can see both sides. I sympathize with you mostly, and MB could try harder to be on time. But one of the great things about having a nanny is not having to rush to do pickup (such as daycare). Sometimes it gets busy at work unexpectedly late in the day. Sometimes people have jobs that are super demanding and causes them to be late (like if MB is a lawyer that works for a big firm, those positions that pay you 160k but really do make you work for it). I used to work at one. My boss, the partner that was being paid way over 350k once shortened our meeting, saying she could not be late again to relieve the nanny, that her nanny was the person she most feared would quit on her. This was someone who had made partner as a working mom in Biglaw, which is incredibly hard to do. I digress, but my point is, yes, she disrespected you and could improve. But if the position is otherwise good or great, give MB another chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see both sides. I sympathize with you mostly, and MB could try harder to be on time. But one of the great things about having a nanny is not having to rush to do pickup (such as daycare). Sometimes it gets busy at work unexpectedly late in the day. Sometimes people have jobs that are super demanding and causes them to be late (like if MB is a lawyer that works for a big firm, those positions that pay you 160k but really do make you work for it). I used to work at one. My boss, the partner that was being paid way over 350k once shortened our meeting, saying she could not be late again to relieve the nanny, that her nanny was the person she most feared would quit on her. This was someone who had made partner as a working mom in Biglaw, which is incredibly hard to do. I digress, but my point is, yes, she disrespected you and could improve. But if the position is otherwise good or great, give MB another chance.

Read OP's post above - it has been resolved.

Otherwise I agree with you, PP.

[Anonymous]

You told her your situation up front and she agreed to the terms.

Yet she cannot fulfill them.

This is a huge lapse in judgment on her part and you have every right in the world to be angry.

I also think that you letting her come home up to thirty minutes late with no charge has ultimately set up a bad precedent for her to walk all over you.

Still....that is no excuse for her inconsiderate behavior toward your situation.

I think it's time to look for another family.
One where you will ultimately be respected.

[Anonymous]

OP, am so glad the issue has been resolved.

Excellent communication is such a BIG deal when in this type of situation.

For what it's worth now, all the responses on here criticizing + blaming you were unnecessary.

You had a valid issue and none of it had anything to do with YOU doing anything at all wrong.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you are cut out to be a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you are cut out to be a nanny.

you are an ass

[Anonymous]

You sound really dramatic and you're lucky to still have a job. Hopefully MB is looking for another nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should find another position, your family needs a nicer, more flexible & less demanding nanny.

I agree with you!!

[Anonymous]

I love to stay late,I can make extra money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should find another position, your family needs a nicer, more flexible & less demanding nanny.

I agree with you!!

I could not disagree more. This nanny volunteers (free of charge) to pick up a former charge who recently lost his father once a week. She tolerates a late MB and DB four times out of five. In my book, she is nice, flexible and not at all demanding.

Some of you are truly cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, am so glad the issue has been resolved.

Excellent communication is such a BIG deal when in this type of situation.

For what it's worth now, all the responses on here criticizing + blaming you were unnecessary.

You had a valid issue and none of it had anything to do with YOU doing anything at all wrong.

+1 The family is lucky to have her.

[Anonymous]

I am honestly shocked that so many MBs would flame this nanny. A devoted nanny who only asked that her employer be on time one day a week (and the employer agreed) so that the nanny could pick up a former charge who lost his Dad from daycare. The nanny wasn't even making any money on the pick up.

I am truly ashamed of my fellow mothers.

I am glad to see that the nanny and her current employer worked it out so well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why have you made it your responsibility to pick up your former charge straight after work?

Im an MB and my boss sometimes needs me to work late to finish a project, sometimes meetings run over, and other days there's heavy traffic. I schedule all my personal things at least 1 hour after my expected knock off time.

Also one the reasons I have a nanny and don't use a daycare is because of this flexibility re time.

I have no issue paying OT but I would find a new nanny if I had this "cannot ever be late on a Wed" hanging over my head.

Fine, IF, and only IF, your nanny agree. OP, has not agreed to your draconian work rules.

OP, the time has come to move on. She has no respect for you and considers you the help. Move on . Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why have you made it your responsibility to pick up your former charge straight after work?

Im an MB and my boss sometimes needs me to work late to finish a project, sometimes meetings run over, and other days there's heavy traffic. I schedule all my personal things at least 1 hour after my expected knock off time.

Also one the reasons I have a nanny and don't use a daycare is because of this flexibility re time.

I have no issue paying OT but I would find a new nanny if I had this "cannot ever be late on a Wed" hanging over my head.

Fine, IF, and only IF, your nanny agree. OP, has not agreed to your draconian work rules.

OP, the time has come to move on. She has no respect for you and considers you the help. Move on . Good luck.

Read the update from OP at the top of page 3