Beyond furious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB and I have never once been late.

I am sorry, OP. Your MB was wrong and you have every reason to be upset. Maybe give her another chance? If it happens again, you will know she won't change and then look for another position.

Do you work from home? Or does your commute consist of you walking across the street? How have you NEVER ONCE been late?!? Even if I leave at the exact same time M-F I get home at different times. I try to leave with enough of a cushion so that my nanny can leave at 6, but if there's been an accident or some nonsense downtown, it can take a lot longer to get home, and these aren't always things that I can know of before leaving so as to be able to plan ahead.

PP here and I always account for traffic and generally come home early. I am only a surgeon so clearly my job is not as important as yours.

Sorry, Mothers, but any employee has the right to expect that her employers follow the mutually agreed upon quitting time one day out of five. You are all being ridiculous and stunningly entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you were my nanny and I apologized as profusely as this MB did and you still had an attitude about it, I'd be done with you. It's fine to do what you want during your free time, but as someone who has a job that doesn't always allow me to leave right on the dot, I appreciate the flexibility for my nanny to stay when needed. I do my best if I think I'm going to be late to have my husband get home first or at least warn my nanny, but there have been times when I have been in situations that were outside my control and I was in a meeting and did not have access to my phone. I feel terrible for your other charge, but you need to rethink your ability to commit to something outside your main job.[
/quote]

Exactly nanny here you are right MB.

[Anonymous]

I am "team nanny" on this one. Nanny has a right to expect her boss to be on time one day a week. I feel sorry for the little kid crying and afraid that his former nanny wasn't going to come because the nanny's MB was late after agreeing on this day to be home on time.

MB here is in the wrong and so is anyone who agrees with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should find another position, your family needs a nicer, more flexible & less demanding nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny with job that, up until yesterday, loved. Good pay, an adorable charge, and employers who respected me. Until yesterday...

My MB is often late coming home. It never really bothered me and I never even billed them for the time unless it exceeded 30 minutes. This has been going on for over a year. However situations changed and I agreed to pick up a former charge from daycare after work (at no charge - I just love this kid) once a week. I told MB that this was my situation and I could not be late on this one day a week - that she had to come home on time. She agreed. And for three weeks she wasn't late although I reminded her several times during the day. Yesterday, I reminded her in the morning that it was Wednesday and I had to pick up my former charge and texted her TWICE during the day to remind her and she was 30 minutes late! I called her several times during that 30 minutes and she only picked up after about 20 minutes (which generally means she wasn't in her car for the first 20 minutes). She apologized profusely when she got home but I was in no mood to discuss it or even speak to her.

When I got to my former charge's daycare, he was crying -- and told me that he thought I forgot him.

I am absolutely livid at my MB. She tried to call me last night and I was in no mood to pick up. I feel so disrespected and insignificant to not be given a thought on the ONE THING I asked of her. This morning when I got to work, she had flowers there for me and apologized again. I started crying tell her how the little boy was crying because he thought I forgot him. I also told her that we had to have major changes in our work relationship and that she now had to be on time every single day or I would start looking for a new position. Then she got angry and defensive and stormed out.

I am still angry.

So is this something we can get past? Where was I wrong? Should I just start looking for another position?

Why dont you call his daycare and inform that you will be late?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny with job that, up until yesterday, loved. Good pay, an adorable charge, and employers who respected me. Until yesterday...

My MB is often late coming home. It never really bothered me and I never even billed them for the time unless it exceeded 30 minutes. This has been going on for over a year. However situations changed and I agreed to pick up a former charge from daycare after work (at no charge - I just love this kid) once a week. I told MB that this was my situation and I could not be late on this one day a week - that she had to come home on time. She agreed. And for three weeks she wasn't late although I reminded her several times during the day. Yesterday, I reminded her in the morning that it was Wednesday and I had to pick up my former charge and texted her TWICE during the day to remind her and she was 30 minutes late! I called her several times during that 30 minutes and she only picked up after about 20 minutes (which generally means she wasn't in her car for the first 20 minutes). She apologized profusely when she got home but I was in no mood to discuss it or even speak to her.

When I got to my former charge's daycare, he was crying -- and told me that he thought I forgot him.

I am absolutely livid at my MB. She tried to call me last night and I was in no mood to pick up. I feel so disrespected and insignificant to not be given a thought on the ONE THING I asked of her. This morning when I got to work, she had flowers there for me and apologized again. I started crying tell her how the little boy was crying because he thought I forgot him. I also told her that we had to have major changes in our work relationship and that she now had to be on time every single day or I would start looking for a new position. Then she got angry and defensive and stormed out.

I am still angry.

So is this something we can get past? Where was I wrong? Should I just start looking for another position?

Why dont you call his daycare and inform that you will be late?

How do you know she didn't? My child would still be upset and afraid if I were late. Stop trying to find fault with the nanny. She is doing this for free and it is her own time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am "team nanny" on this one. Nanny has a right to expect her boss to be on time one day a week. I feel sorry for the little kid crying and afraid that his former nanny wasn't going to come because the nanny's MB was late after agreeing on this day to be home on time.

MB here is in the wrong and so is anyone who agrees with her.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB and I have never once been late.

I am sorry, OP. Your MB was wrong and you have every reason to be upset. Maybe give her another chance? If it happens again, you will know she won't change and then look for another position.

Do you work from home? Or does your commute consist of you walking across the street? How have you NEVER ONCE been late?!? Even if I leave at the exact same time M-F I get home at different times. I try to leave with enough of a cushion so that my nanny can leave at 6, but if there's been an accident or some nonsense downtown, it can take a lot longer to get home, and these aren't always things that I can know of before leaving so as to be able to plan ahead.

PP here and I always account for traffic and generally come home early. I am only a surgeon so clearly my job is not as important as yours.

Sorry, Mothers, but any employee has the right to expect that her employers follow the mutually agreed upon quitting time one day out of five. You are all being ridiculous and stunningly entitled.

I find this kind of hard to believe. Nothing has ever happened during surgery to keep you there even a few minutes late? I am an outpatient psychiatrist, known for being dead on time, and I still finish late from time to time. Someone needs admitted to the hospital, and I have to wait for an ambulance to get to my office, there is an important call that I need to return at the end of the day, notes take longer than expected, someone threatens to kill my admin, the fax stops working at an inconvenient time, I have to run to the hospital and do a quick emergency consult, etc. Shit happens.

[Anonymous]

I'm on your side here, OP. You have made a commitment outside of your work hours one day per week. Unless you agreed to be available to stay late every day for your employer, and to never make plans after work, then you are right to be upset.

It doesn't matter what the commitment is, only that you made one. Your MB and DB need to either respect that, or request that you be available for overtime on a daily basis, then pay you for it.

It's one day per week. You're not telling them that you must leave at your end time, on the dot, on a daily basis. It sounds like you have, in fact, been quite flexible with them and giving of your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two things:

1. she absolutely should not have been late.
2. you are cutting it too close for the pickup. Your MB has a terrible history with being on time. Even if she didn't, one bad traffic day for her would land you in the same position.
3. Tell her if she's late on Wednesday in the future, you will take her child to pick up the other child, drop him off after, and charge her for all the extra time it takes you.

It is an unfortunate reality of the kind of job where you are the sole caretaker, that you can't leave until someone gets there.

OP here and thank you for your response. I only have one car seat in my car so I cannot take my charge and former charge in the car at the same time. And I really am not cutting it too close if MB is on time.

So get another car seat or another job. I think you are going to be annoyed at any job you get, though. There will always be that one thing that isn't perfect. The problem is that at some jobs, it's many more than one thing.

I am not a nanny, but I have never, ever had a job where I got off on time 100% of the time. Not hourly jobs, not salaried jobs, not casual gig jobs. Maybe people who work in a factory, I don't know. But most of those jobs had coworkers, so if I HAD to be out on time one day, I could arrange it in advance.

OP is not asking to leave on time 100% of the time and has stated that she regularly stays late without being bothered or even charging her employer for it.

She's asking to leave on time 20% of the time (one day per week).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why have you made it your responsibility to pick up your former charge straight after work?

Im an MB and my boss sometimes needs me to work late to finish a project, sometimes meetings run over, and other days there's heavy traffic. I schedule all my personal things at least 1 hour after my expected knock off time.

Also one the reasons I have a nanny and don't use a daycare is because of this flexibility re time.

I have no issue paying OT but I would find a new nanny if I had this "cannot ever be late on a Wed" hanging over my head.

? You know your child is waiting for you, too. Your self-centered and self-important attitude is doing far more damage to your relationship with your child than it is your nanny.

Huh? You have no idea of my work schedule or my relationship my kids so not sure what makes you qualified to speak on that.

Bottom line yes MB is wrong for being late however OP is being too rigid.

OP just get another job where parents are never late.
And btw MB being late does not mean she doesn't respect you. It's probably beyond her control.

Asking to leave work on time ONE day per week, while staying late every other day of the week, does not meet the definition of being rigid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on your side here, OP. You have made a commitment outside of your work hours one day per week. Unless you agreed to be available to stay late every day for your employer, and to never make plans after work, then you are right to be upset.

It doesn't matter what the commitment is, only that you made one. Your MB and DB need to either respect that, or request that you be available for overtime on a daily basis, then pay you for it.

It's one day per week. You're not telling them that you must leave at your end time, on the dot, on a daily basis. It sounds like you have, in fact, been quite flexible with them and giving of your time.

Yes. I agree. I posted above that I would struggle with this, but I also wouldn't agree to my nanny making this commitment and pay accordingly.

It really sounds like her MB is used to arriving around 20 minutes late and simply forgot about her nanny's commitment. It's easy to get in the habit of chatting with co-workers for a few minutes after work, going to the bathroom, checking DCUM , and arriving home 20 minutes late. She probably thought that she could just not do those things, and didn't realize how routine they were for her.

[Anonymous]

Both OP and MB are in the wrong. MB is wrong to be late so frequently and not pay OP. OP is wrong to expect MB to be on time, knowing that MB is habitually late. Notwithstanding the daycare pick up situation, OP should tell MB that she needs to be paid OT, or have her end time be pushed later, to reflect the regular lateness. As to the daycare situation, it depends on whether Mb's lateness is in her control or not. If it's out of her hands, then OP should either give up the daycare pick up, get a second car seat (paid for by MB), or expect to be late to pick up sometimes, or get another job. If it's within MB's control, then she needs to clean up her act and be on time Wednesday's, period.

Also, OP, your response to Mb's apology was out of line. If I were MB, I'd fire you for being such a self-righteous b*tch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both OP and MB are in the wrong. MB is wrong to be late so frequently and not pay OP. OP is wrong to expect MB to be on time, knowing that MB is habitually late. Notwithstanding the daycare pick up situation, OP should tell MB that she needs to be paid OT, or have her end time be pushed later, to reflect the regular lateness. As to the daycare situation, it depends on whether Mb's lateness is in her control or not. If it's out of her hands, then OP should either give up the daycare pick up, get a second car seat (paid for by MB), or expect to be late to pick up sometimes, or get another job. If it's within MB's control, then she needs to clean up her act and be on time Wednesday's, period.

Also, OP, your response to Mb's apology was out of line. If I were MB, I'd fire you for being such a self-righteous b*tch.

But she's worked for MB for a long time. What MB SHOULD do -- get home on time -- and what she is LIKELY to do -- regularly come home late -- are not the same thing. This is the fly in this nanny's perfect job. The fly is her boss, though, so not really something she's likely to change.

Have at it, OP, and explain to MB again why this is so important. I am willing to bet that she will be late again before another month is out. This is the same as all the posts about nannies that arrive late everyday; some people just can't manage their time.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure agreeing to pick up the other child at that time was a good thing to do knowing your MB is unreliable.

FWIW, if you charged her overtime when she's late she might not be inclined to be late. She knows she can take advantage of you.

I wouldn't leave yet. I would, though, let her know that you will start charging overtime when she's late. Also, if she's going to be late she NEEDS to let you know.