Someone trying to hire your nanny- is this common?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In NYC it's very common. Almost every mother must have the best there is.

This used to happen to me all the time in NYC. But I was a SAHM not a nanny

I'd take that as a compliment, pp!

[Anonymous]

I've only been approached twice in the last two years. I've actually wondered if I am doing something wrong that I don't get approached more often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's also quite possible that this is your nanny's way of trying to angle for a raise.

I would respond by saying "Gee, this seems to be happening to you a lot. Are you considering leaving Jennie?"

And then see what she says.

I thought about this too. But she tells me that each time she responds to the person saying, "no thanks, I'm happy where I'm at." Perhaps she's just trying to reconfirm what a good choice I made. How good I have it. I don't know. It's strange. Strange that it happens and strange that she tells me.

It's strange enough that I don't believe your nanny. She's looking for a raise, bonus, or gifts.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is weird. My nanny and I chitchat about whatever randomness happened at the park that day as we're transitioning.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny has been approached at least 3 times in 5+ years. At first I was upset that another family at the preschool would be so gauche as to try and take our nanny. But then I realized the conversation if probably more like, "If you are ever looking for a job, please let us know.." And our nanny has gotten other straight up offers to leave but luckily we treat her well and she is happy with us so she has no reason to want to leave.

[Anonymous]

So, I was with a friend and her nanny and our kids at a park in NYC when a celebrity (TV; B-list-ish) came over and offered her nanny a job. I would never have believed it if I hadn't seen it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am new to having a nanny so don't know much about this but find this odd. My nanny has said that in the last couple months she's had 3 mothers try to offer her a job. One was in my neighborhood where a woman pulled up along side of her and said "I've seen you walking with these kids a few times. Any chance you want a new job? I pay really well." The other 2 times were at the park. One mother of 5 asked my nanny if she wanted a new job after seeing how my nanny was playing with several of the kids. And the other time was a mom having small talk with our nanny and asked if she was interested in working for her. Is this a common thing?

No this is not common here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's lying. I'd start looking for someone new and cut her as soon as possible.

Agree she is likely full of it.
Have some backups ready, she just tipped her hat that she's looking or "aspirational."

[Anonymous]

Happened twice. I live in old town and was surprised to see women try to pull this during my maternity leave at playgrounds. We ended up putting the kids in daycare.

[Anonymous]

This happens to DD's nanny on a regular basis. I personally think it's completely normal that a parent walk up to a nanny who takes excellent care of her charge and ask if she's looking for a job; you never know if the nanny is part-time and looking for more hours, or if she will be leaving her job soon because the child is going into daycare, for example. Having said that, it REALLY BUGS ME when it's neighbors from our building (we live in a smallish building of 60 units) or friends of theirs who approach DD's nanny and they do so in our building (so they know that she works for one of the residents). Our nanny is almost FT (30 hours/week) and is free to take extra work, but if she ever asked me about working for one of our neighbors, I would say Please NO. We have no family members in the area so next to DH and me, the nanny is DD's family, she is Mommy #2. I can't imagine how traumatized DD would be to see her 2nd mommy taking care of another child and unable to come to her when she needs or wants her. We have a playroom and courtyard where all the building kids play so it would be inevitable that DD see her nanny in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am new to having a nanny so don't know much about this but find this odd. My nanny has said that in the last couple months she's had 3 mothers try to offer her a job. One was in my neighborhood where a woman pulled up along side of her and said "I've seen you walking with these kids a few times. Any chance you want a new job? I pay really well." The other 2 times were at the park. One mother of 5 asked my nanny if she wanted a new job after seeing how my nanny was playing with several of the kids. And the other time was a mom having small talk with our nanny and asked if she was interested in working for her. Is this a common thing?

For good nannies - yes. I am asked about my "availability" at least twice or three times a month (I am standing there with a none-month-old on my hip - how available do I look?). Once I was in the pediatrician's waiting room and when my charge and MB walked in to the doctor's office she basically landed on me with her card and whispered that she wanted to talk to me about a new position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happens to DD's nanny on a regular basis. I personally think it's completely normal that a parent walk up to a nanny who takes excellent care of her charge and ask if she's looking for a job; you never know if the nanny is part-time and looking for more hours, or if she will be leaving her job soon because the child is going into daycare, for example. Having said that, it REALLY BUGS ME when it's neighbors from our building (we live in a smallish building of 60 units) or friends of theirs who approach DD's nanny and they do so in our building (so they know that she works for one of the residents). Our nanny is almost FT (30 hours/week) and is free to take extra work, but if she ever asked me about working for one of our neighbors, I would say Please NO. We have no family members in the area so next to DH and me, the nanny is DD's family, she is Mommy #2. I can't imagine how traumatized DD would be to see her 2nd mommy taking care of another child and unable to come to her when she needs or wants her. We have a playroom and courtyard where all the building kids play so it would be inevitable that DD see her nanny in that situation.

Wow, that is messed up.
1: Your nanny is an employee, not Mommy #2. Because that is reality, it is not a disservice to your kid to witness evidence that bears it out. If that would indeed be traumatic for your child, then you need to work on her grasp of reality.
2: You do not own your nanny. If you want to control how she spends every one of your child's waking hours, you can pay for those hours.
3: In discouraging those in your neighborhood from asking your nanny to babysit, you are making it harder and less convenient for her to pick up extra hours, which she likely needs, given that you only offer 30hrs per week. If you cared about your nanny as an actual person (rather that as a possession), you should be thrilled that she is able to find work in your building since it will minimize the time she spends driving to another job before/after work and makes it possible for her to work for you longer term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happens to DD's nanny on a regular basis. I personally think it's completely normal that a parent walk up to a nanny who takes excellent care of her charge and ask if she's looking for a job; you never know if the nanny is part-time and looking for more hours, or if she will be leaving her job soon because the child is going into daycare, for example. Having said that, it REALLY BUGS ME when it's neighbors from our building (we live in a smallish building of 60 units) or friends of theirs who approach DD's nanny and they do so in our building (so they know that she works for one of the residents). Our nanny is almost FT (30 hours/week) and is free to take extra work, but if she ever asked me about working for one of our neighbors, I would say Please NO. We have no family members in the area so next to DH and me, the nanny is DD's family, she is Mommy #2. I can't imagine how traumatized DD would be to see her 2nd mommy taking care of another child and unable to come to her when she needs or wants her. We have a playroom and courtyard where all the building kids play so it would be inevitable that DD see her nanny in that situation.

Wow, that is messed up.
1: Your nanny is an employee, not Mommy #2. Because that is reality, it is not a disservice to your kid to witness evidence that bears it out. If that would indeed be traumatic for your child, then you need to work on her grasp of reality.
2: You do not own your nanny. If you want to control how she spends every one of your child's waking hours, you can pay for those hours.
3: In discouraging those in your neighborhood from asking your nanny to babysit, you are making it harder and less convenient for her to pick up extra hours, which she likely needs, given that you only offer 30hrs per week. If you cared about your nanny as an actual person (rather that as a possession), you should be thrilled that she is able to find work in your building since it will minimize the time she spends driving to another job before/after work and makes it possible for her to work for you longer term.

While I agree with some of your points, your first one is questionable. Of course the legal relationship is employee/employer. But little children can't be expected to understand that. In many families, the nanny is not only mommy #2, she's in fact mommy #1 as the primary caregiver, for all practical purposes.

[Anonymous]

I was approached twice last year, spring and summer. One time at the park in Palisades and another in Alexandria! So it can happen HERE. Both kids were 3 years old. I'm not perfect and I don't play with the kids the full 2 hours at the park, but I do interact with them especially the first 1/2 hour - 45 mind as they were always hesitant playing with the other kids so we would play together, and as time went on other kids would want to play and then they'd all play together. One time I even moved forward with one parent (just for weekends) but when I told her my price it was too much ! LOL