Fear of losing nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC's nanny has taken a second job with a very wealthy and high-profile family on weekends. She is earning $6 more per hour with this family than with us. The weekend family has a beautiful home both here and a vacation home and I know her job is much easier than with us who live in an apartment without a yard or a lot of space.

Nanny took the job with us because it is within walking distance to her home and now we have to move to where she would need to drive. She also took the job with us because we have just one child and now I am pregnant with number 2. And she used to work just 34 hours a week and now we need her for 44 to 45 hours a week.

I am afraid we are going to lose her. We cannot afford (honestly) to pay her more. We are renting and DH is still in graduate school. I know Nanny is devoted to my child but... Well, we simply cannot compete with the salary or perks she gets from her weekend job.

What, if anything, can I do?

TIA

Families move on from nannies, and vice versa all the time. Just be fair, honest and have open communication. If you have to do a search process again, so be it -- I'm sure you're wiser and have better questions to ask. Your child is resilient and will roll with any transition. They are tons of available nannies out there, and not just at back to school time.

Don't create any unnecessary brain damage for yourself on this - childcare is supposed to help you, not be a .
PITA.

How the hell is this nanny being a PITA by working two jobs and clearly doing an excellent job with OP?!

You're an ass, PP. There are NOT tons of good, educated and experienced nannies out there and many children are not resilient when it comes to losing a beloved caregiver.

I don't know why everyone is jumping on the PP I see it as being pragmatic approach. OP's nanny has not said anything about leaving here job and even if she did OP cannot afford wealthy family rate. So no point in stressing out about things you can't control. Take a breath and slow down you may find another great nanny or you will just find a good one but if you are like most folks, ft childcare is temporary and ends in a few years when your child goes too K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC's nanny has taken a second job with a very wealthy and high-profile family on weekends. She is earning $6 more per hour with this family than with us. The weekend family has a beautiful home both here and a vacation home and I know her job is much easier than with us who live in an apartment without a yard or a lot of space.

Nanny took the job with us because it is within walking distance to her home and now we have to move to where she would need to drive. She also took the job with us because we have just one child and now I am pregnant with number 2. And she used to work just 34 hours a week and now we need her for 44 to 45 hours a week.

I am afraid we are going to lose her. We cannot afford (honestly) to pay her more. We are renting and DH is still in graduate school. I know Nanny is devoted to my child but... Well, we simply cannot compete with the salary or perks she gets from her weekend job.

What, if anything, can I do?

TIA

Families move on from nannies, and vice versa all the time. Just be fair, honest and have open communication. If you have to do a search process again, so be it -- I'm sure you're wiser and have better questions to ask. Your child is resilient and will roll with any transition. They are tons of available nannies out there, and not just at back to school time.

Don't create any unnecessary brain damage for yourself on this - childcare is supposed to help you, not be a .
PITA.

How the hell is this nanny being a PITA by working two jobs and clearly doing an excellent job with OP?!

You're an ass, PP. There are NOT tons of good, educated and experienced nannies out there and many children are not resilient when it comes to losing a beloved caregiver.

I don't know why everyone is jumping on the PP I see it as being pragmatic approach. OP's nanny has not said anything about leaving here job and even if she did OP cannot afford wealthy family rate. So no point in stressing out about things you can't control. Take a breath and slow down you may find another great nanny or you will just find a good one but if you are like most folks, ft childcare is temporary and ends in a few years when your child goes too K.

Why do you assume it is out of OP's control? Are all MBs so perfect that there is nothing they can do to improve in order to keep a good nanny?

OP is also pregnant so is looking for about five more years of childcare and wants to keep the nanny she has. Pragmatism and callousness are two very different things.

I am a nanny and an occasional "thank you" or compliment about how I care for my MB's child would go a long way with me. If I ever heard MB utter, "How are you?" to me, I would faint in shock - I am lucky to get a "good morning". I love and am very devoted to my charge and that is all that is keeping me in my current position.

OP should try to improve where she can.

[Anonymous]

Typed too soon if you are planning to have a third kid you cannot afford to keep this nanny and give her the raises. No one gets everything they want so make good choices and stop worrying.

[Anonymous]

OP here and thank you for all the response. Of course I can always improve my communication and appreciation toward our nanny. That was a good suggestion. Often I think she just knows how great we think she is. I will correct that.


And to the PP who said we won't be able to afford her if we have #3 - we don't plan on having a third and DH will be working within the next 18 months anyway.

[Anonymous]

Having a nanny 7 days a week means you maintain flexibility. There is always someone to hang with the baby while he naps, or take a kid to an event at the library while another kid goes to a birthday party. Or, if you get called into work unexpectedly, no biggie.

It is a luxury, of course, but it also makes life so much saner. Much more like when multiple generations used to live together and grandparents or other relatives could do some of this.

[Anonymous]

As a MB, I hope the nanny would take a position paying that much more, as long as it's a good fit for her. I understand the mom's point of view, but it's kind of sucky to hope that someone will forego a really great opportunity to help you out. A nanny is not your family. Maybe you'll get lucky and find another great nanny just starting out willing to work for a lower rate.

[Anonymous]

I definitely think there's a lot you can do to keep your nanny OP! I used to work for really wealthy families and got paid $5 more/hour than I do now. But I'd much rather work for the well off families that pay me well ($20/ hour) and treat me like gold. To me loving my job is more important than making more money. My MB tells me thank you every day, asks how my weekend went and asks for my imput often. She randomly buys me flowers, for under $20, makes sure to have my favorite foods and snacks in the house and makes me feel valued. She even called the hotel my husband and I were staying for our anniversary and asked them to deliver us a bottle of champagne for us to celebrate. My hours are caotic, I'm constantly asked for flexibility but I'm also given flexibility and pretty much free reign with the kids. I'm sure there are lots of nannies who would rather be paid well and treated kindly than get paid a ton and treated like the help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think there's a lot you can do to keep your nanny OP! I used to work for really wealthy families and got paid $5 more/hour than I do now. But I'd much rather work for the well off families that pay me well ($20/ hour) and treat me like gold. To me loving my job is more important than making more money. My MB tells me thank you every day, asks how my weekend went and asks for my imput often. She randomly buys me flowers, for under $20, makes sure to have my favorite foods and snacks in the house and makes me feel valued. She even called the hotel my husband and I were staying for our anniversary and asked them to deliver us a bottle of champagne for us to celebrate. My hours are caotic, I'm constantly asked for flexibility but I'm also given flexibility and pretty much free reign with the kids. I'm sure there are lots of nannies who would rather be paid well and treated kindly than get paid a ton and treated like the help.

Your post makes me sad. I am paid well but my MB has never once said thank you for anything and most mornings doesn't even say hello. Aside from handing me a piece of cake at my charge's birthday party, she has never so much as offered me a glass of water. DB is much more polite and her father is actually lovely. But she is a contrary, self-involved woman.

I know there are very happy with me (her father told me) and they met every one of my requests at my annual review with no negative feedback at all.

But I love my charge and love seeing how the work I have been doing with him since he's been born all start to come together now that he is two-years-old. I am devoted to him and do love my job. I just wish I would have gotten a human MB. She wears on me at times. Today was one of those days...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think there's a lot you can do to keep your nanny OP! I used to work for really wealthy families and got paid $5 more/hour than I do now. But I'd much rather work for the well off families that pay me well ($20/ hour) and treat me like gold. To me loving my job is more important than making more money. My MB tells me thank you every day, asks how my weekend went and asks for my imput often. She randomly buys me flowers, for under $20, makes sure to have my favorite foods and snacks in the house and makes me feel valued. She even called the hotel my husband and I were staying for our anniversary and asked them to deliver us a bottle of champagne for us to celebrate. My hours are caotic, I'm constantly asked for flexibility but I'm also given flexibility and pretty much free reign with the kids. I'm sure there are lots of nannies who would rather be paid well and treated kindly than get paid a ton and treated like the help.

Your post makes me sad. I am paid well but my MB has never once said thank you for anything and most mornings doesn't even say hello. Aside from handing me a piece of cake at my charge's birthday party, she has never so much as offered me a glass of water. DB is much more polite and her father is actually lovely. But she is a contrary, self-involved woman.

I know there are very happy with me (her father told me) and they met every one of my requests at my annual review with no negative feedback at all.

But I love my charge and love seeing how the work I have been doing with him since he's been born all start to come together now that he is two-years-old. I am devoted to him and do love my job. I just wish I would have gotten a human MB. She wears on me at times. Today was one of those days...

I am sorry, PP - that really sucks. Some people simply have no clue how to manage people or even be civil.

[Anonymous]

I understand your concerns and think they are very valid.

I know you don't want to lose your precious nanny, however the fact that she will now need to commute to your home plus soon you will have an extra child may be challenging.

Would you be willing to offer a little gas money for her? And are you going to be upping her salary for the add'l child...An infant no less?

If you do both these things, your nanny will see how much you are willing to offer her so she will appreciate all you will be doing and most likely stay.

[Anonymous]

For what's it worth, when I do evening babysitting I always say yes to families I like rather than the families that pay better if there is a conflict. I know it's not the same with a full-time job, but having a good relationship with the parents and knowing you are appreciated goes a long way.

My best jobs were all with families who treated me well and let me know they like me and what I do with their children.

I liked the suggestion about gas money/paying for a bus ticket. It would presumably not come to very much for you, but it's a nice gesture, I think.

But again, OP, your nanny never said anything about leaving, did she? Her weekend job does pay better, but perhaps the children are more difficult and she is simply not looking for it to become her weekday job. Don't worry before it's time to worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think there's a lot you can do to keep your nanny OP! I used to work for really wealthy families and got paid $5 more/hour than I do now. But I'd much rather work for the well off families that pay me well ($20/ hour) and treat me like gold. To me loving my job is more important than making more money. My MB tells me thank you every day, asks how my weekend went and asks for my imput often. She randomly buys me flowers, for under $20, makes sure to have my favorite foods and snacks in the house and makes me feel valued. She even called the hotel my husband and I were staying for our anniversary and asked them to deliver us a bottle of champagne for us to celebrate. My hours are caotic, I'm constantly asked for flexibility but I'm also given flexibility and pretty much free reign with the kids. I'm sure there are lots of nannies who would rather be paid well and treated kindly than get paid a ton and treated like the help.

Your post makes me sad. I am paid well but my MB has never once said thank you for anything and most mornings doesn't even say hello. Aside from handing me a piece of cake at my charge's birthday party, she has never so much as offered me a glass of water. DB is much more polite and her father is actually lovely. But she is a contrary, self-involved woman.

I know there are very happy with me (her father told me) and they met every one of my requests at my annual review with no negative feedback at all.

But I love my charge and love seeing how the work I have been doing with him since he's been born all start to come together now that he is two-years-old. I am devoted to him and do love my job. I just wish I would have gotten a human MB. She wears on me at times. Today was one of those days...

You sound jealous of your MB, OP, and very petty in all your posts here. You have a human MB; you just choose not to treat her as such. Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

My MB came home with a caramel apple for me about a week ago. I know it was just a little thing, but it really touched me that she thought of me. Stuff like that, and compliments, go a long long way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think there's a lot you can do to keep your nanny OP! I used to work for really wealthy families and got paid $5 more/hour than I do now. But I'd much rather work for the well off families that pay me well ($20/ hour) and treat me like gold. To me loving my job is more important than making more money. My MB tells me thank you every day, asks how my weekend went and asks for my imput often. She randomly buys me flowers, for under $20, makes sure to have my favorite foods and snacks in the house and makes me feel valued. She even called the hotel my husband and I were staying for our anniversary and asked them to deliver us a bottle of champagne for us to celebrate. My hours are caotic, I'm constantly asked for flexibility but I'm also given flexibility and pretty much free reign with the kids. I'm sure there are lots of nannies who would rather be paid well and treated kindly than get paid a ton and treated like the help.

Your post makes me sad. I am paid well but my MB has never once said thank you for anything and most mornings doesn't even say hello. Aside from handing me a piece of cake at my charge's birthday party, she has never so much as offered me a glass of water. DB is much more polite and her father is actually lovely. But she is a contrary, self-involved woman.

I know there are very happy with me (her father told me) and they met every one of my requests at my annual review with no negative feedback at all.

But I love my charge and love seeing how the work I have been doing with him since he's been born all start to come together now that he is two-years-old. I am devoted to him and do love my job. I just wish I would have gotten a human MB. She wears on me at times. Today was one of those days...

You sound jealous of your MB, OP, and very petty in all your posts here. You have a human MB; you just choose not to treat her as such. Shame on you.

STFU, Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC's nanny has taken a second job with a very wealthy and high-profile family on weekends. She is earning $6 more per hour with this family than with us. The weekend family has a beautiful home both here and a vacation home and I know her job is much easier than with us who live in an apartment without a yard or a lot of space.

Nanny took the job with us because it is within walking distance to her home and now we have to move to where she would need to drive. She also took the job with us because we have just one child and now I am pregnant with number 2. And she used to work just 34 hours a week and now we need her for 44 to 45 hours a week.

I am afraid we are going to lose her. We cannot afford (honestly) to pay her more. We are renting and DH is still in graduate school. I know Nanny is devoted to my child but... Well, we simply cannot compete with the salary or perks she gets from her weekend job.

What, if anything, can I do?

TIA

Families move on from nannies, and vice versa all the time. Just be fair, honest and have open communication. If you have to do a search process again, so be it -- I'm sure you're wiser and have better questions to ask. Your child is resilient and will roll with any transition. They are tons of available nannies out there, and not just at back to school time.

Don't create any unnecessary brain damage for yourself on this - childcare is supposed to help you, not be a .
PITA.

How the hell is this nanny being a PITA by working two jobs and clearly doing an excellent job with OP?!

You're an ass, PP. There are NOT tons of good, educated and experienced nannies out there and many children are not resilient when it comes to losing a beloved caregiver.

I don't know why everyone is jumping on the PP I see it as being pragmatic approach. OP's nanny has not said anything about leaving here job and even if she did OP cannot afford wealthy family rate. So no point in stressing out about things you can't control. Take a breath and slow down you may find another great nanny or you will just find a good one but if you are like most folks, ft childcare is temporary and ends in a few years when your child goes too K.

Why do you assume it is out of OP's control? Are all MBs so perfect that there is nothing they can do to improve in order to keep a good nanny?

OP is also pregnant so is looking for about five more years of childcare and wants to keep the nanny she has. Pragmatism and callousness are two very different things.

I am a nanny and an occasional "thank you" or compliment about how I care for my MB's child would go a long way with me. If I ever heard MB utter, "How are you?" to me, I would faint in shock - I am lucky to get a "good morning". I love and am very devoted to my charge and that is all that is keeping me in my current position.

OP should try to improve where she can.

Haha, the only thing dcum "nannies" care about is their pay. First thing they ask about on all occasions: holidays coming, vacation coming, not feeling so well, grandparents in town, preschool starting, baby is eating purées now, a MyGym class started, new baby coming. Me me me, money money money.