Am I being petty?

[Anonymous]

14:29 again.

Please ignore the incredibly rude and mean nannies on this board. For some reason, this board attracts the most dissatisfied trolls on the internet. Normal IRL nannies are open to and appreciate honest communication and don't assume you're evil just because you're an MB.

[Anonymous]

I was once caught off guard when my nanny came back with a few of her own grocery items once while on an errand to a nearby location.

I didn't say anything because while I prefer she focus on her job, she does do a good job in general. I'm glad I didn't because years later, I realized she is one of the best nannies we've had.

If she was a so-so or unacceptable nanny in general and she was bringing home more than one or two grocery items of her own and she did it often, I would definitely had to have a talk with it and it would be grounds for firing if she insisted.

I know what you are saying. Whether you should be annoyed depends on the overall situation, how well she is doing as a nanny, rather than this sole incident, I think.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I realized that I did know where my kids are at the time, which is the same shopping center as the grocery store.

I think you do have a right to know where your kid is 100% of the time.

You should just ask that she let you know where she is going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I realized that I did know where my kids are at the time, which is the same shopping center as the grocery store.

I think you do have a right to know where your kid is 100% of the time.

You should just ask that she let you know where she is going.

Please read this in a friendly, conversational tone. Given that this is DCUM that seems important.

Ok. When I worked as a nanny in a different part of the city, my charge and I would walk to the library for story time. Behind the library was the grocery store where I might pick up milk or tissues for my MB, a sandwich for myself, or something to share at play group later. Across the street was a Starbucks, and I'd occasionally pop in for a drink. Then walking home we'd pass the pet store I get my pet food from, and since it's dog-friendly there were lots of fuzzy puppies to meet. I didn't make each of those stops every day (or even every week), but I'm sure glad I wasn't required to inform my MB every time I made the decision to run a quick errand. My charge enjoyed our stops, I chatted with him ALL day, even while walking, and I had fifteen minutes of peace while he was strapped into his stroller. Not being trusted to make that kind of choice would leave me wondering how you could trust me to make the big ones (is this safe? do I need to take him to the hospital? is this the right bus stop? do kids under one eat honey? Etc.). If your nanny is taking your son out to a known activity and then decides spur of the moment to grab a coffee, do you really need to know? My MB would've gone crazy if I texted her every time we went somewhere!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are overreacting, yes. You are not staying home with your child so you will not know where he is every minute of every day. A trip to Starbucks is hardly an afternoon spent at her boyfriend's house or three hours sitting in Urban Outfitters while she shops - it's a pit stop, a place any same person would assume was not a big deal. Agree with a PP, please keep this to yourself and let her continue assuming she works for reasonable people. You'll sound nutty if you bring this up.

I don't stay home. I know where my kid is. Nanny texts me when they leave. When they arrive. If they go somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are overreacting, yes. You are not staying home with your child so you will not know where he is every minute of every day. A trip to Starbucks is hardly an afternoon spent at her boyfriend's house or three hours sitting in Urban Outfitters while she shops - it's a pit stop, a place any same person would assume was not a big deal. Agree with a PP, please keep this to yourself and let her continue assuming she works for reasonable people. You'll sound nutty if you bring this up.

I don't stay home. I know where my kid is. Nanny texts me when they leave. When they arrive. If they go somewhere else.

So if she's walking to the splash park and stops to grab a muffin, she tells you? Doesn't that interrupt your workday, receiving so many texts? I assume you must check when she texts in case there's an emergency. Or maybe they don't go out often?

This is WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD. I have always considered having a phone and answering/returning calls promptly a basic necessity of nannying. If my MB called me at any time, of course I'd tell her where we were. I did not inform her every time we stopped at Panera for a lemonade or decided to reroute our normal walk to the park so we could also visit the duck pond on the way. That is intense, guys. You are making your nannies miserable.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP you are being petty. I cannot imagine what the problem is with getting a coffee. I would be inclined to get the nanny a gift card at the next gift giving opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny takes my DS out for classes and other fun activities at least 3-4 times a week. I've been noticing she's been coming home with Starbucks alot. I found myself today because she's never asked if she could stop anywhere else besides the planned location. I feel like I should know where my kid is 100% of the time. Am I being petty?

You are not being petty. Just tell her you don't mind if she makes pit stops and such to starbucks and the like but you want to know just in case something were ever to happen. You're trusting her with your child, that's huge. You also trust that she's being honest about where she is going. Every morning simply ask what she was thinking about doing during the day. If it's not helping the child's development or benefitting your child then it's not necessary, so it's nice of you to allow her to do these things, the least she can do is give you a heads up about it.

You're a whack job. Please say you're not a parent. OP- please don't listen to this loon and leave your nanny alone. This poster was a slave master in a past life. You don't want to be like her!

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny, and one who has taken my charges all over. Today I am working and plan to take them to music class, home for nap, then a play area, walk to a carousel, home for afternoon nap, and then a walk to the park after dinner. I would be fine texting MB about any of those, and here's why: one of my big fears as a nanny of very small kids is that something happen to me. We had a family friend who had a sudden brain aneurysm at a young age, and I've often thought about what would happen if I were caring for children and something like that happened. One safety balve IMO is that I text my boss before leaving and on arrival, so that if she doesn't hear from me, she knows to call and if I don't answer a few times in a row, she knows that something is wrong. I think it's reasonable to approach your nanny with this request, but you should definitely do it in a way that reflects that this is not about her judgement, but about an extra safety precaution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny, and one who has taken my charges all over. Today I am working and plan to take them to music class, home for nap, then a play area, walk to a carousel, home for afternoon nap, and then a walk to the park after dinner. I would be fine texting MB about any of those, and here's why: one of my big fears as a nanny of very small kids is that something happen to me. We had a family friend who had a sudden brain aneurysm at a young age, and I've often thought about what would happen if I were caring for children and something like that happened. One safety balve IMO is that I text my boss before leaving and on arrival, so that if she doesn't hear from me, she knows to call and if I don't answer a few times in a row, she knows that something is wrong. I think it's reasonable to approach your nanny with this request, but you should definitely do it in a way that reflects that this is not about her judgement, but about an extra safety precaution.

Carrying a specific card saying who your charges are (with their parents phone numbers) or getting ID bracelets for your charges is a better, more efficient way to handle your sudden incapacitation than the parent knowing where the child is. How would the parent knowing that you are at Starbucks help the police identify your young charges?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP you are being petty. I cannot imagine what the problem is with getting a coffee. I would be inclined to get the nanny a gift card at the next gift giving opportunity.

+1 This. We actually gave our wonderful nanny a Starbucks gift card as part of her Christmas gift last year. I assume she is using it to get coffee or a treat when she is with DS during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny, and one who has taken my charges all over. Today I am working and plan to take them to music class, home for nap, then a play area, walk to a carousel, home for afternoon nap, and then a walk to the park after dinner. I would be fine texting MB about any of those, and here's why: one of my big fears as a nanny of very small kids is that something happen to me. We had a family friend who had a sudden brain aneurysm at a young age, and I've often thought about what would happen if I were caring for children and something like that happened. One safety balve IMO is that I text my boss before leaving and on arrival, so that if she doesn't hear from me, she knows to call and if I don't answer a few times in a row, she knows that something is wrong. I think it's reasonable to approach your nanny with this request, but you should definitely do it in a way that reflects that this is not about her judgement, but about an extra safety precaution.

Carrying a specific card saying who your charges are (with their parents phone numbers) or getting ID bracelets for your charges is a better, more efficient way to handle your sudden incapacitation than the parent knowing where the child is. How would the parent knowing that you are at Starbucks help the police identify your young charges?

We walk everywhere through a sleepy residential neighborhood. My having identification on hand (which I do) depends upon a stranger passing by and noticing something is wrong--not likely in our case. If I swing by and run an errand in a different direction than out main outing, knowing our actual route allows MB to call a neighbor and ask them to drive by and look for us. Has never happened, but that is our plan and we both feel better knowing there is a plan in place.

[Anonymous]

If you are going on a walk then going here and there, just tell me you are going to do that and do it. MBs absolutely has a right to know where their kids are at all times. Being trusted to go somewhere has nothing to do with asking to know where you will be.

Anyway, this is a moot point. There are about a dozen watches for kids available with GPS tracking at affordable prices now. I just got one for 80 dollars at Verizon wireless, no contract, 5 dollars a month service fee. It is great. Battery life is 7 days. Just get one and ask your nanny to carry it in the bag every time they leave the house. I expect technology to greatly change a lot of aspects of nannying in the future.