Advice on talking to live in nanny about privacy on weekends...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is it a red flag that a nanny wants to just hang out in the kitchen? She probably feels as a "live-in" that your home is now her home as well. Isn't that the concept of what a live-in means or am I missing something?

I didn't think being a live-in had strings attached. I mean if she had unruly company over, loud parties or was a very messy person then that would be very inconsiderate commonsense wise, right?

But c'mon. She is just using the space considerately it sounds. She is not disturbing anyone intentionally it sounds...She is just keeping to herself and minding her own business. Let her be. She certainly isn't disrupting your family by any measures.

I would let the poor girl alone.

Trust me...There are a million worse things you could complain about from a live-in nanny.

I am sure you heard about the live-in nanny from hell that made news nationally just a few months ago, right? Yeah. Thought so. Yikes!

Spending the whole day at the breakfast counter with a computer is hardly as innocent as you try to portray it - she could use the computer in her own room or go to a coffee shop. It is not her home by any measure, it's her employers' home. Do you see hotel employees congretating in the lobby on their break time?

Nanny lives there. Ergo, it is her home.

Logic is your friend.

[Anonymous]

Op... You opened your home to. Lady who spends 50 hours caring for your kids! From how I see it your home for the most part is now her home too!!
Maybe your family could make a tradition of going out for breakfast on Saturday morning? Then everyone is happy. Your husband gets family time,.. Your nanny feels like she is valued and doesn't need to be stuck is a garage apartment and your kids get a treat and one on one time. Then hit up a park or the zoo or something. Make it a family day! I'm sure nanny won't be I your living space all day. But it is her home now too

[Anonymous]

Get a nanny that's better suited for you and your family. Especially, if you've had live-in nannies before and did well with that sort of arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here:

Yea I think that is a bit much on your nanny's part. True having a live-in does change the privacy of both employer and nanny and is not for everyone.

You could bring up the issue by having a sit down and ask your nanny how things are going. Is she new in the area? This way you could just bring up how you love having family time on the weekend and if she would like to use the kitchen perhaps you can work out the timing. Roommates go through this kind of thing so it is not out of order to have this kind of conversation.

If things do not get change and you feel uncomfortable in your own home then yes perhaps it is not a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Can we get an update from the OP, please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get kitchen access but it is not ok to sit in a main room on a weekend. I would not be ok with that.

She's a live in! That means she lives there. Why shouldn't she be able to sit in the kitchen, or the family room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get kitchen access but it is not ok to sit in a main room on a weekend. I would not be ok with that.

She's a live in! That means she lives there. Why shouldn't she be able to sit in the kitchen, or the family room?

Should she be able to use my bed and my clothes too? Hey, she lives in the house, all of it must be hers, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get kitchen access but it is not ok to sit in a main room on a weekend. I would not be ok with that.

She's a live in! That means she lives there. Why shouldn't she be able to sit in the kitchen, or the family room?

Should she be able to use my bed and my clothes too? Hey, she lives in the house, all of it must be hers, right?

I think we are all capable of recognizing the difference between household "common areas" and private rooms/property without having to produce a comprehensive list of each...

Right?

[Anonymous]

I am not clear why OP does not just put a desk in the nannies sitting room. I work from home three days. Although I enjoy working from my bed or sofa it is he'll on my back. After a couple hours I need to move to someplace with a chair and a table where I'm not craning my neck down. My guess is that the nanny just needs a workspace. Go to ikea and get an inexpensive table and chair.