MB cried hysterically

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Legally she cannot sue you because employment is at will and is a civil matter and most people do not take the time and effort to go into a court of law to sue. They are too busy searching for a replacement and scrambling for childcare.

If this lady was good to you, then I think you should do all that you can for her to help her find someone else. Do you have someone responsible and trustworthy you can recommend, even temporary while she searches for someone long-term? To leave her high & dry as a nurse will be an extreme hardship for her OP.

Is there any way you can stay a little while longer?

Op here.

Thanks for your reply! at most I can stay two weeks but then I really have to get home.

Ok, so if you can stay 2 weeks then stay 2 weeks. I'm not sure what your point of posting was unless you just wanted to hear people tell you that you are doing the right thing and too bad for your NF.

I don't think most people will fault you for doing what you need to do for your own family. Your obligation is to them first, then your NF, and that's fine. Whether you meant it that way or not, your post was kind of critical of your MB for being upset that she needs to find a replacement for you on short notice. Your post was asking what you could do to make it better but in all your follow-up posts you basically said there was nothing you could do, so why did you ask? That is why it just seems like you are looking for people to agree with you that your MB overreacted and you should just go and not look back.

I think the situation just sucks for everyone. It sucks for you that you have a family emergency and have to leave and it also equally sucks for your NF that they only have 1 week to scramble to find reliable and trustworthy nanny care. It doesn't matter how much money they have, it still takes time (not money) to find a good and trustworthy person to take care of your child. And it's not the same as just having backup care, that's for a week or less if your nanny is sick or takes vacation (and you usually have more than 1 week notice when a nanny takes vacation). So while you need to do what you need to do just accept that it is hard for your NF now too.

This is perfect - I agree with every word.

[Anonymous]

Why did you post here at all, OP?


Because I was wondering if it was completely terrible that I quit my job. I kind of felt that MB's response was an overreaction.

You already know it is not completely terrible to quit your job. What is kind of terrible is your unprofessional conduct in leaving with so little notice, your lack of empathy for your MB's position, and your judgmental attitude toward her reaction.

I agree with the PP who suggests you posted this hoping that you'd receive a ton of support for how you treated your NF. I'm glad to see you aren't getting it, because you are definitely in the wrong and that wrong is magnified by posting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Not bragging or trolling.

I really do want to make this better but I have no other options. I cannot give anymore notice as I just got notice of family issues back home. I have a friend who is a nanny and I offered her services to MB. My friend said that she is open to a share situation for the 2 months or so that I will be gone. MB didn't say anything about the share, she only asked if I will be able to work for them again after I return.

I only "quit" because I didn't want them to have to hire a temp nanny. I felt that if I leave I can just move on and so can they.

You are just awful not to feel awful.

[Anonymous]

And she is not just upset because she needs to find a replacement in one week, she is upset because she clearly trusted you with her kids and doesn't want someone else. Now I think that trust is misplaced by what I see here (your lack of empathy and understanding for this family is just appalling, and I imagine carried over to your care for the kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you post here at all, OP?

Because I was wondering if it was completely terrible that I quit my job. I kind of felt that MB's response was an overreaction.

How is being sad that a beloved employee leaving you an overreaction? Showing emotions is normal...

emotion is normal, hysterical wailing is not.

She loved her fucking kids and (mistakenly) thinks you are the only, best person to care for them. She probably (mistakenly) is at work all day smiling whenever she thinks of her kids in your sweet care. This is how I feel for my nanny, and I would be devastated if she left (even if she gave me a year notice). But, damn, I hope I am not as wrong about my nanny as this woman is about you. Good riddance!

[Anonymous]

If you have to leave then I think it is unfair people are bashing you. I assume it is a dire situation that absolutely requires your physical prescence. If so, then there is nothing more you could have done. Depending on the circumstances, staying another week might not be wise. For example, my aunt is in the hospital now, due to lung cancer, and is not expected to live much longer. If I were out of the country, I would not wait an extra week just in case she made it just so MB could have more time to find a back up. I give that example to say, you know what actions are justified in your own situation better then anyone else. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Guilt is not helping anyone. Make every effort to be helpful then let yourself be free of the guilt knowing you did everything possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have to leave then I think it is unfair people are bashing you. I assume it is a dire situation that absolutely requires your physical prescence. If so, then there is nothing more you could have done. Depending on the circumstances, staying another week might not be wise. For example, my aunt is in the hospital now, due to lung cancer, and is not expected to live much longer. If I were out of the country, I would not wait an extra week just in case she made it just so MB could have more time to find a back up. I give that example to say, you know what actions are justified in your own situation better then anyone else. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Guilt is not helping anyone. Make every effort to be helpful then let yourself be free of the guilt knowing you did everything possible.

I am in a similar scenario. The only reason I thought that MB was overreacting, was because it seems like when you weigh out the two scenarios (left without a nanny vs. needing to go see a dying relative), her's is probably the lesser of two.


-OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to leave then I think it is unfair people are bashing you. I assume it is a dire situation that absolutely requires your physical prescence. If so, then there is nothing more you could have done. Depending on the circumstances, staying another week might not be wise. For example, my aunt is in the hospital now, due to lung cancer, and is not expected to live much longer. If I were out of the country, I would not wait an extra week just in case she made it just so MB could have more time to find a back up. I give that example to say, you know what actions are justified in your own situation better then anyone else. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Guilt is not helping anyone. Make every effort to be helpful then let yourself be free of the guilt knowing you did everything possible.

I am in a similar scenario. The only reason I thought that MB was overreacting, was because it seems like when you weigh out the two scenarios (left without a nanny vs. needing to go see a dying relative), her's is probably the lesser of two.


-OP.

Just go away OP. No one here thinks you're the martyred wronged party. The MB will find a solution, hopefully someone of better nature. Hopefully you'll find a position with an employer for whom you have more respect when you're ready to return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to leave then I think it is unfair people are bashing you. I assume it is a dire situation that absolutely requires your physical prescence. If so, then there is nothing more you could have done. Depending on the circumstances, staying another week might not be wise. For example, my aunt is in the hospital now, due to lung cancer, and is not expected to live much longer. If I were out of the country, I would not wait an extra week just in case she made it just so MB could have more time to find a back up. I give that example to say, you know what actions are justified in your own situation better then anyone else. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Guilt is not helping anyone. Make every effort to be helpful then let yourself be free of the guilt knowing you did everything possible.

I am in a similar scenario. The only reason I thought that MB was overreacting, was because it seems like when you weigh out the two scenarios (left without a nanny vs. needing to go see a dying relative), her's is probably the lesser of two.


-OP.

That's fine, I don't think anyone disagrees with you that you need to leave but then accept the crappy situation for everyone and just go. It's your condemnation of your MB for being upset that I think most people have a problem with. It's not as if your MB is angry at you or telling you not to go. Just because your situation may be worse doesn't mean she's not allowed to be upset too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to leave then I think it is unfair people are bashing you. I assume it is a dire situation that absolutely requires your physical prescence. If so, then there is nothing more you could have done. Depending on the circumstances, staying another week might not be wise. For example, my aunt is in the hospital now, due to lung cancer, and is not expected to live much longer. If I were out of the country, I would not wait an extra week just in case she made it just so MB could have more time to find a back up. I give that example to say, you know what actions are justified in your own situation better then anyone else. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Guilt is not helping anyone. Make every effort to be helpful then let yourself be free of the guilt knowing you did everything possible.

I am in a similar scenario. The only reason I thought that MB was overreacting, was because it seems like when you weigh out the two scenarios (left without a nanny vs. needing to go see a dying relative), her's is probably the lesser of two.


-OP.

Just go away OP. No one here thinks you're the martyred wronged party. The MB will find a solution, hopefully someone of better nature. Hopefully you'll find a position with an employer for whom you have more respect when you're ready to return.

Different poster here, and you need to STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to leave then I think it is unfair people are bashing you. I assume it is a dire situation that absolutely requires your physical prescence. If so, then there is nothing more you could have done. Depending on the circumstances, staying another week might not be wise. For example, my aunt is in the hospital now, due to lung cancer, and is not expected to live much longer. If I were out of the country, I would not wait an extra week just in case she made it just so MB could have more time to find a back up. I give that example to say, you know what actions are justified in your own situation better then anyone else. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Guilt is not helping anyone. Make every effort to be helpful then let yourself be free of the guilt knowing you did everything possible.

I am in a similar scenario. The only reason I thought that MB was overreacting, was because it seems like when you weigh out the two scenarios (left without a nanny vs. needing to go see a dying relative), her's is probably the lesser of two.

-OP.

I am PP. Her reaction is neither right or wrong. She is ok to display her genuine feelings of sadness even if she supported you decision. However, there should not be any animosity. If you truly care about someone the first concern is for their well being, physical and mental. My NF would insist that I take the time, even if it meant they had to hire a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to leave then I think it is unfair people are bashing you. I assume it is a dire situation that absolutely requires your physical prescence. If so, then there is nothing more you could have done. Depending on the circumstances, staying another week might not be wise. For example, my aunt is in the hospital now, due to lung cancer, and is not expected to live much longer. If I were out of the country, I would not wait an extra week just in case she made it just so MB could have more time to find a back up. I give that example to say, you know what actions are justified in your own situation better then anyone else. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Guilt is not helping anyone. Make every effort to be helpful then let yourself be free of the guilt knowing you did everything possible.

I am in a similar scenario. The only reason I thought that MB was overreacting, was because it seems like when you weigh out the two scenarios (left without a nanny vs. needing to go see a dying relative), her's is probably the lesser of two.


-OP.

Just go away OP. No one here thinks you're the martyred wronged party. The MB will find a solution, hopefully someone of better nature. Hopefully you'll find a position with an employer for whom you have more respect when you're ready to return.

Different poster here, and you need to STFU.

Guess you failed charm school. You're probably also the OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are planning to come back, why quit? I would rather you go home to help your family (as that is what I would do) and then come back. Its not like you are asking them to pay you in the interim. Its summer. For a few weeks if the kids are 3+, they can always go to summer camps. If younger, your friend sounds like the perfect solution. If you are wonderful, I'd be upset you were leaving and not willing to come back. If you are coming back and I know your friend, that would be fine for us and I'd be happy to have you back when your family situation is resolved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to leave then I think it is unfair people are bashing you. I assume it is a dire situation that absolutely requires your physical prescence. If so, then there is nothing more you could have done. Depending on the circumstances, staying another week might not be wise. For example, my aunt is in the hospital now, due to lung cancer, and is not expected to live much longer. If I were out of the country, I would not wait an extra week just in case she made it just so MB could have more time to find a back up. I give that example to say, you know what actions are justified in your own situation better then anyone else. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Guilt is not helping anyone. Make every effort to be helpful then let yourself be free of the guilt knowing you did everything possible.

I am in a similar scenario. The only reason I thought that MB was overreacting, was because it seems like when you weigh out the two scenarios (left without a nanny vs. needing to go see a dying relative), her's is probably the lesser of two.


-OP.

Just go away OP. No one here thinks you're the martyred wronged party. The MB will find a solution, hopefully someone of better nature. Hopefully you'll find a position with an employer for whom you have more respect when you're ready to return.

Different poster here, and you need to STFU.

Guess you failed charm school. You're probably also the OP.

No, I'm not OP, and yes, I get paid to teach manners. Part of that means NOT being your doormat. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to leave then I think it is unfair people are bashing you. I assume it is a dire situation that absolutely requires your physical prescence. If so, then there is nothing more you could have done. Depending on the circumstances, staying another week might not be wise. For example, my aunt is in the hospital now, due to lung cancer, and is not expected to live much longer. If I were out of the country, I would not wait an extra week just in case she made it just so MB could have more time to find a back up. I give that example to say, you know what actions are justified in your own situation better then anyone else. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Guilt is not helping anyone. Make every effort to be helpful then let yourself be free of the guilt knowing you did everything possible.

I am in a similar scenario. The only reason I thought that MB was overreacting, was because it seems like when you weigh out the two scenarios (left without a nanny vs. needing to go see a dying relative), her's is probably the lesser of two.


-OP.

Just go away OP. No one here thinks you're the martyred wronged party. The MB will find a solution, hopefully someone of better nature. Hopefully you'll find a position with an employer for whom you have more respect when you're ready to return.

Different poster here, and you need to STFU.

Guess you failed charm school. You're probably also the OP.

No, I'm not OP, and yes, I get paid to teach manners. Part of that means NOT being your doormat. Sorry.

You get paid to teach manners? Sure you do. Sure honey. I am laughing at you though, so thanks for the entertainment.