DC said nanny told him to "be quiet"

[Anonymous]

Mb here.

I'm sorry, OP, that some of the nannies here were so mean to you. I agree that you are overreacting, but it makes sense that you are a little nervous in a new situation after having enjoyed several years with a nanny you really knew and trusted. I think the fact that she asked him to be "please be quiet" is an important indication that she stayed calm and didn't show anger when talking to him.

It might be a good idea to have a talk with your DC and mention that his new nanny might be very different than the former nanny and handle things differently than she or you may, but there is nothing wrong with different and he will get used to her. The important thing is to feel safe and he should talk to nanny and yourself if he has any concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mb here.

I'm sorry, OP, that some of the nannies here were so mean to you. I agree that you are overreacting, but it makes sense that you are a little nervous in a new situation after having enjoyed several years with a nanny you really knew and trusted. I think the fact that she asked him to be "please be quiet" is an important indication that she stayed calm and didn't show anger when talking to him.

It might be a good idea to have a talk with your DC and mention that his new nanny might be very different than the former nanny and handle things differently than she or you may, but there is nothing wrong with different and he will get used to her. The important thing is to feel safe and he should talk to nanny and yourself if he has any concerns.

Stop the nonsense! It isn't the mean nannies! I am a MB and I told her she was insane - because she is!!! Other mothers have also spoken up and said that they were the ones who various unpleasant things to her.

Some of you MBs are absolutely nutso and ridiculous! Your lives must be hell.

[Anonymous]

You are a no t on, OP .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a no t on, OP .

Moron by no t on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're over reacting andiI don't see anything wrong with asking a kid to be quiet. Driving isn't the only scenario I can think of that might warrant that. Sometimes the chatter just needs to sto. Kids aren't very self aware and won't be unless we bring it to their attention... Billy you're chatting non stop, please be quiet while I concentrate. Billy probably wasn't even aware of his incessant noise making. It's not a flaw, just something he needs to be made aware of in the quest for self awareness.

OP here. Thank you for your polite post. This is my point. I know some people come on DCUM and ask a question but really just want people to agree with them. I came legitimately asking for advice. If I'm wrong that's fine that's all I wanted to know. This poster I quoted here told me that without calling me names and without making assumptions about me or my child. I think if everyone approached their answers in DCUM like this it could be a forum where people could get advice that they would actually listen to.

I'm the one you quoted and I'm glad you got something out of my response. I just want to add one more thought. Sometimes when I ask a child to be quiet in not asking them to stop making all sounds. Sometimes I just was them to reduce the volume of the sound. Perhaps that's what your nanny meant when she asked him to be quiet? Sometimes kids can be pretty loud with their already higher pitched voices and we just need them to scale back the volume vs ceasing all sound.

[Anonymous]

Give me the name and number of your nanny so I can tell her to run far far away from you.

[Anonymous]

OP, what steps can you take to respond differently in the future? I appreciate your new found awareness but if I were your nanny I would see this as a preview of days to come. I would be polishing up my resume, still doing my job well, but be open to competing offers.

Do you think you will be able to slow down and reflect a little more next time? Can you come up with a strategy such as wait 72 hours to have a talk? What will be your litmus test for acceptable/unacceptable behavior? For example, taking the nannies actions as a whole rather than focusing solely on one piece of information would have allowed you to see how harmless her words were.

.

[Anonymous]

It's hard for us as parents not to be a bit sensitive about others disciplining/telling our kids to be quiet, but in this case I think you need to let it go. If she said it with a nice tone and not snapping, I think it's an acceptable response in that situation (trying to drive safely without distraction).

[Anonymous]

I agree with the posters who mentioned that your over-sensitivity and teaching your child to be overly sensitive to something as simple as being asked if he could please be quiet - is hurting your child. That poor little boy is going to have such a hard time when he gets to school, flies in a plane, etc. and people actually TELL him to be quiet.

I'm a mother and this OP is clearly over-the-top ridiculous.

So go ahead, OP and Minions - tell us how mean MBs are being mean to OP.

[Anonymous]

You can KILL someone when you're driving a car. There's nothing wrong at ALL with what the nanny said to him. She wasn't mean, she didn't threaten, she just asked for what she needed to concentrate on the road.

If my son told me the new nanny asked him to please be quiet for a minute in the context of her driving somewhere new, my response would be "I hope you listened when she told you that."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can KILL someone when you're driving a car. There's nothing wrong at ALL with what the nanny said to him. She wasn't mean, she didn't threaten, she just asked for what she needed to concentrate on the road.

If my son told me the new nanny asked him to please be quiet for a minute in the context of her driving somewhere new, my response would be "I hope you listened when she told you that."

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:... She said "X, can you please be quiet for a minute?" I totally get that he may have been distracting if he was telling her she's going the wrong way and I know a lot depends on her tone but I can't help but feel a little bothered that she told him to be quiet.

I've said this same thing to adults in my car under similar circumstances. It shows that she wants to concentrate so she can drive safely. I seriously recommend that you try to trust her and encourage your son to trust her also. She will not say everything and do everything how you and the former nanny did. And that's a good thing. You don't want a robot taking care of your child. The situation you describe also sounds like she good at controlling a situation when she needs to. What you write here makes her sound like a good nanny who knows her own limits and knows how to set them for her charge.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you're over reacting.

Besides that, he's 4. Why is he trying to give an adult directions?

I think your nanny handled it just fine.

[Anonymous]

Wow...I consider myself to be overly sensitive OP, but even I think you are way overreacting here.

She didn't tell your son to "Shut up" or anything, she sounds to me like she just asked him to be quiet which sounds perfectly acceptable to me. How else was she supposed to phrase to your child that she needed silence to concentrate on her driving and not be distracted??

Are you really that sensitive? If so, you need to work on your issues now before you lose a great nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow...I consider myself to be overly sensitive OP, but even I think you are way overreacting here.

She didn't tell your son to "Shut up" or anything, she sounds to me like she just asked him to be quiet which sounds perfectly acceptable to me. How else was she supposed to phrase to your child that she needed silence to concentrate on her driving and not be distracted??

Are you really that sensitive? If so, you need to work on your issues now before you lose a great nanny.

You need to work on your issues before you ruin your son's life. What is he going to do when his teachers and school librarian tell him to be quiet - come running home to mommy in tears?!