MBs! Please weigh in. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you were wrong to accept a job a quarter of a year before your end-date. I think you were wrong to allow yourself to be poached from your old employer. I think your MB was wrong to yell at you - she could have told you without yelling how frustrated and disappointed she was in you for leaving them a quarter of a year early.

+1000. Your MB shouldn't be surprised you are leaving early. You've already proved how unloyal and money hungry you are, by letting her " poach you". If I found this out about any future candidate, I would never hire.

Not a nanny, but if the MB "poached" the nanny in the first place, she's hardly coming into this with clean hands, is she? (BTW, I hate that term. The nanny does not belong to her employers.) And the OP said that there were people posting for jobs beginning in August/September, so it seems like in her region, at least, people do look for newborn nannies this far out.

And in any other job, no one would bat an eye if an employee, having been told that they would be laid off in four months, left two-and-a-half months early because they got a great job offer. As an MB, I would be disappointed, maybe even hurt and angry, at what the OP did, but I certainly wouldn't yell at her or think she was a bad person. She's just acting like a reasonable employee.

[Anonymous]

"I think it is very understandable that your boss feel that you lied to her and did the bare minimum according to your contract when she had gone out of her way to be considerate towards you. "

+1.
MB should not have yelled because that is always rude. But of course she is pissed!! She went out of her way to give you tons of notice and you gave her the bare minimum. Hope that comes back to bite you down the road ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous.[/quote wrote:


OP here. I am not at all worried about a reference from this MB. I had already gotten a letter of recommendation from her when I interviewed in April for a friend of hers looking for a nanny but ended up turning that job down. The long and the short of it is I gave the notice time she asked for, and while I feel bad I won't see my charges anymore, I don't feel bad about leaving. This is the same MB who I posted about previously who paid me 120$ for 96hrs of work because my fee "wasn't in their budget".
I feel zero loyalty to this family.

MB here. I would never accept a reference letter if I couldn't call the person to follow up. Providing a letter in place of a number is a red flag that the former MB is going to tell me something you don't want me to hear. I don't know anyone else who would accept just a letter either. Sorry.

A longtime nanny will likely have plenty of glowing, professional references.
One disgruntled ex-employer is hardly going to keep a nanny from finding a good job.
Having a reference letter from this woman will prove that she was happy up until the end of her job.
OP can prove that her job performance wasn't an issue. The MB's piss poor attitude is.

First, OP said that she left her last job because she was poached, which likely means that she now has TWO employers who were left with a bad taste in their mouths, which means that OP either switches jobs frequently (problematic for a nanny resume) or she has a gap in her resume.

Second, when OP is up against nannies with the same amount of experience who have ONLY glowing references, who is going to get the job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous.[/quote wrote:


OP here. I am not at all worried about a reference from this MB. I had already gotten a letter of recommendation from her when I interviewed in April for a friend of hers looking for a nanny but ended up turning that job down. The long and the short of it is I gave the notice time she asked for, and while I feel bad I won't see my charges anymore, I don't feel bad about leaving. This is the same MB who I posted about previously who paid me 120$ for 96hrs of work because my fee "wasn't in their budget".
I feel zero loyalty to this family.

MB here. I would never accept a reference letter if I couldn't call the person to follow up. Providing a letter in place of a number is a red flag that the former MB is going to tell me something you don't want me to hear. I don't know anyone else who would accept just a letter either. Sorry.

A longtime nanny will likely have plenty of glowing, professional references.
One disgruntled ex-employer is hardly going to keep a nanny from finding a good job.
Having a reference letter from this woman will prove that she was happy up until the end of her job.
OP can prove that her job performance wasn't an issue. The MB's piss poor attitude is.

First, OP said that she left her last job because she was poached, which likely means that she now has TWO employers who were left with a bad taste in their mouths, which means that OP either switches jobs frequently (problematic for a nanny resume) or she has a gap in her resume.

Second, when OP is up against nannies with the same amount of experience who have ONLY glowing references, who is going to get the job?

OP here, no gaps in employment history and while I was poached from a previous job, it only happened because at my 1yr DB let slip that MB was losing her job at Christmas. He told me in August, and when approached in Sept by my current family I left. MB did in deed loose her job that Christmas.

[Anonymous]

OP stated she only works for newborn through two-year-olds, presumably for first-time parents, and in areas where experienced nannies are scarce (e.g. rural New Hampshire, where I began) parents will begin looking early. I can't fault OP for beginning her search early, either; if she is paid above market she expected to need extra time to find a compatible family who could afford her.

When OP says she knows her job will end the last week of August, and has known from the beginning, that's not all that uncommon either. Whether it's discussed formally or casually, every parent-nanny interview is going to include the topic of job duration/employee availability. That is not the same as giving the nanny official notice of the end of her job.

Which brings me to...official notice. Parents, if you want to prevent a scenario like the OP's family is in you need to offer more than two weeks severance pay (and thereby increase the nanny's notice period). In my contract I give one month's notice or receive one month's severance/notice with adequate opportunities to interview.

tl;dr - due to the circumstances OP was right to begin searching for jobs; OP also did exactly what was required of her by the contract. If her employer wanted more notice, she should have asked for it and compensated OP in return.

[Anonymous]

When it comes to nanny employment, whether you are the employee or the employer, there are times when you have to look at for yourself. Being sure you have a job and a way to pay the bills is important enough that it has to trump consideration for someone else. The employer is in the same exact situation, as having childcare is also necessary in order to keep his/ her job. Neither person in this equation can really afford to put the other person's needs first, so whichever is the one who does that is likely to get screwed. This post is a good reminder to parents, that even if you know exactly when the position will end, it really is not in your best interest to tell the nanny. The person may be a very good nanny and a thoughtful person, but they aren't going to be able to help but start looking for the next job and the chances of it lining up exactly with your position ending is just really unlikely. I think on either side, giving the other party as much notice as you can is best, but you've really got to consider your own situation and make sure you have a back up plan if you do provide that kind of information about the end date far in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the bottom line is that you just screwed yourself out of a reference. If you were at all experience in this field, then you would know that 1) August is a tough time to start a new position and 2) no one is going to be looking for a nanny to starting August right now. When they told you that they plan to keep you until August but then would be letting you go, it is understandable that you may have been concerned about finding a new position at that time of year. If that were the case, the professional thing to do would have been to either tell them immediately that you are not comfortable waiting until August and arrange to work until the end of the school year instead, or negotiate a bonus if you stay through the end of August. If your work history and other qualifications are such that you feel confident that you could get a new position at any time of year, then the professional thing to do would be to start looking for a new position eight weeks before this position ended.

While I obviously agree that your MB should have handled her frustration better, her frustration is justified. You verbally agreed to stay until August, but started looking at jobs well before August start dates would be available. Then, despite the fact that they went out of their way to give you ample notice so that you could lineup another job, you gave them the bare minimum of notice after (again) having verbally committed to be there until August. I think it is very understandable that your boss feel that you lied to her and did the bare minimum according to your contract when she had gone out of her way to be considerate towards you.

I hope that you have many many years of nanny experience, because otherwise the lost reference from this employer is going to make it much harder for you to find a good job next time around.

OP here. I am not at all worried about a reference from this MB. I had already gotten a letter of recommendation from her when I interviewed in April for a friend of hers looking for a nanny but ended up turning that job down. The long and the short of it is I gave the notice time she asked for, and while I feel bad I won't see my charges anymore, I don't feel bad about leaving. This is the same MB who I posted about previously who paid me 120$ for 96hrs of work because my fee "wasn't in their budget".
I feel zero loyalty to this family.

I'm confused OP. You've already stated that you get paid over market in your current position, and now new position. How is $120 for 96hrs above market? Please explain because you are digging yourself an even bigger grave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current MB poached me from another family, and brought that up as well. How underhanded I am.
The thing is I WAS looking only for fall jobs and was keeping their needs as forerunner in my search. Then this new family offered me a great position with the same level of pay I have now (I'm paid far over market)

How is $120 for 96hrs well over market? I'm calling serious BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the bottom line is that you just screwed yourself out of a reference. If you were at all experience in this field, then you would know that 1) August is a tough time to start a new position and 2) no one is going to be looking for a nanny to starting August right now. When they told you that they plan to keep you until August but then would be letting you go, it is understandable that you may have been concerned about finding a new position at that time of year. If that were the case, the professional thing to do would have been to either tell them immediately that you are not comfortable waiting until August and arrange to work until the end of the school year instead, or negotiate a bonus if you stay through the end of August. If your work history and other qualifications are such that you feel confident that you could get a new position at any time of year, then the professional thing to do would be to start looking for a new position eight weeks before this position ended.

While I obviously agree that your MB should have handled her frustration better, her frustration is justified. You verbally agreed to stay until August, but started looking at jobs well before August start dates would be available. Then, despite the fact that they went out of their way to give you ample notice so that you could lineup another job, you gave them the bare minimum of notice after (again) having verbally committed to be there until August. I think it is very understandable that your boss feel that you lied to her and did the bare minimum according to your contract when she had gone out of her way to be considerate towards you.

I hope that you have many many years of nanny experience, because otherwise the lost reference from this employer is going to make it much harder for you to find a good job next time around.

OP here. I am not at all worried about a reference from this MB. I had already gotten a letter of recommendation from her when I interviewed in April for a friend of hers looking for a nanny but ended up turning that job down. The long and the short of it is I gave the notice time she asked for, and while I feel bad I won't see my charges anymore, I don't feel bad about leaving. This is the same MB who I posted about previously who paid me 120$ for 96hrs of work because my fee "wasn't in their budget".
I feel zero loyalty to this family.

I'm confused OP. You've already stated that you get paid over market in your current position, and now new position. How is $120 for 96hrs above market? Please explain because you are digging yourself an even bigger grave.

No that's all they decided to pay when I stayed an entire weekend (fri-sun) because my rate was not in their vacation budget. Before this weekend they had always paid my normal rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current MB poached me from another family, and brought that up as well. How underhanded I am.
The thing is I WAS looking only for fall jobs and was keeping their needs as forerunner in my search. Then this new family offered me a great position with the same level of pay I have now (I'm paid far over market)

How is $120 for 96hrs well over market? I'm calling serious BS.

It's NOT. Hence my point about how they only paid a pittance and why I feel no loyalty. My normal rate, 1dc, is 20$ an hour. Market rate here is 10-11$ an hour, 1dc. Roughly 13$ an hour for 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current MB poached me from another family, and brought that up as well. How underhanded I am.
The thing is I WAS looking only for fall jobs and was keeping their needs as forerunner in my search. Then this new family offered me a great position with the same level of pay I have now (I'm paid far over market)

How is $120 for 96hrs well over market? I'm calling serious BS.

It's NOT. Hence my point about how they only paid a pittance and why I feel no loyalty. My normal rate, 1dc, is 20$ an hour. Market rate here is 10-11$ an hour, 1dc. Roughly 13$ an hour for 2.

So we are to believe that parents are fighting over themselves to steal you away for almost twice the market rate?

I simply don't believe you and I think we've all been wasting our time here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current MB poached me from another family, and brought that up as well. How underhanded I am.
The thing is I WAS looking only for fall jobs and was keeping their needs as forerunner in my search. Then this new family offered me a great position with the same level of pay I have now (I'm paid far over market)

How is $120 for 96hrs well over market? I'm calling serious BS.

It's NOT. Hence my point about how they only paid a pittance and why I feel no loyalty. My normal rate, 1dc, is 20$ an hour. Market rate here is 10-11$ an hour, 1dc. Roughly 13$ an hour for 2.

So we are to believe that parents are fighting over themselves to steal you away for almost twice the market rate?

I simply don't believe you and I think we've all been wasting our time here.

And that is your prerogative to feel that way. But the truth of the matter is, I have marketed myself (rather successfully) as a newborn nanny and new parents want the best for their baby. I cornered that market here and my rates reflect that.
In two nanny groups I belong to, one fairly good sized and one smaller, there is only one other nanny who enjoys the new baby stage. Nannies like her and I aren't as plentiful in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current MB poached me from another family, and brought that up as well. How underhanded I am.
The thing is I WAS looking only for fall jobs and was keeping their needs as forerunner in my search. Then this new family offered me a great position with the same level of pay I have now (I'm paid far over market)

How is $120 for 96hrs well over market? I'm calling serious BS.

It's NOT. Hence my point about how they only paid a pittance and why I feel no loyalty. My normal rate, 1dc, is 20$ an hour. Market rate here is 10-11$ an hour, 1dc. Roughly 13$ an hour for 2.

So we are to believe that parents are fighting over themselves to steal you away for almost twice the market rate?

I simply don't believe you and I think we've all been wasting our time here.

And that is your prerogative to feel that way. But the truth of the matter is, I have marketed myself (rather successfully) as a newborn nanny and new parents want the best for their baby. I cornered that market here and my rates reflect that.
In two nanny groups I belong to, one fairly good sized and one smaller, there is only one other nanny who enjoys the new baby stage. Nannies like her and I aren't as plentiful in this area.

MB here. I agree with everyone that your MB acted badly by yelling at you. Of course yelling is never professionally appropriate.

That said, you are showing yourself to be just a really obnoxious terrible person. You would not be my nanny.

It is not the letting yourself be poached for higher pay, or leaving early. It is the idea that you are so adamant that the posters here should tell you how great you are and how badly your MB is. It is how you brag about yourself and how great you are. Yet one of the things I expect for paying over market is an over market sense of professionalism. Of going above and beyond.

Of course your MB screwed you if they didn't pay your weekend rate. But if you felt uncomfortable then, of course you should have started looking and explained why you were leaving. Even better, you should have agreed up front about the pay for that weekend.

A nanny is a person I interact with perhaps the most every day, and certainly is the person my child interacts with most. Your negativeness and spitefulness would have no place in my home.

[Anonymous]

I'm finding OP's story hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

Another MB here - totally agreeing with 10:17 and 10:23.