Never giving Nanny credit for child's accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Of course, it's always about the money for the nannies on this board.

Hitting developmental milestones doesn't happen in a day and cannot be attributed to a single person. Anyone who thinks that doesn't understand child development at all. While a nanny is a very important part of a child's growth and development, they are not exclusively responsible for growth.

Parents should absolutely thank nannies for their hard work all the time. But nannies also need to understand that they are still employees doing a job and they should not need constant praise for doing that job.

Also, it's pretty delusional and overly self important to think that MBs are jealous of nannies. Projecting that kind of attitude is offensive and it's far more likely that MBs don't like you for your smugness rather than being jealous of you. If they were jealous, they'd probably opt for daycare.



Struck a nerve huh?

What a stupidly tiresome response. Is this all you have when someone disagrees with you? That and name calling? Let's not bother with facts and knowledge and common sense. That would blow your tiny mind.

Calling me a bitter mommy for having the audacity to know far more than you about child development shows how ignorant and entitled you are. This is why no one respects the nannies on this board.

An MB here - and you are wrong, MB, and out of line. OP made an observation about her MB/DB with no malice or bile - she even stated that their lack of acknowledgement was not a deal breaker. Others added their experiences, some saying how great their MBs were at acknowledging their work while other had the same story as the OP.

There is nothing in your "knowledge" of childhood development that addressed how a child can learn french from parents who don't know the language. And no nanny asked for constant praise. The nannies stated that they never received acknowledgement for their contributions to the child's development and they all gave examples - certainly the french one being the most profound!

In some cases "bitter mommy" fits. You came out swinging and were put in your place. I'm sorry but the nannies are right on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Of course, it's always about the money for the nannies on this board.

Hitting developmental milestones doesn't happen in a day and cannot be attributed to a single person. Anyone who thinks that doesn't understand child development at all. While a nanny is a very important part of a child's growth and development, they are not exclusively responsible for growth.

Parents should absolutely thank nannies for their hard work all the time. But nannies also need to understand that they are still employees doing a job and they should not need constant praise for doing that job.

Also, it's pretty delusional and overly self important to think that MBs are jealous of nannies. Projecting that kind of attitude is offensive and it's far more likely that MBs don't like you for your smugness rather than being jealous of you. If they were jealous, they'd probably opt for daycare.



Struck a nerve huh?

What a stupidly tiresome response. Is this all you have when someone disagrees with you? That and name calling? Let's not bother with facts and knowledge and common sense. That would blow your tiny mind.

Calling me a bitter mommy for having the audacity to know far more than you about child development shows how ignorant and entitled you are. This is why no one respects the nannies on this board.

Please show me in my post where I called you a name. And yes, that is all that I can say to you. Your post was defensive, self-important, and made unsupported claims. Dissecting it was not worth my time.

[Anonymous]

OP, another MB here. I agree with you that clearly if you have been speaking French to your charge, you are contributing to him learning French. It would certainly be nice of your MB to acknowledge that. But I can't tell from your post -- from what other sources is he learning French?

I want to offer another perspective, however, on some of the other milestones. First, unless your charge has a disability, your work does not make the milestone happen. Kids will sit, stand, etc. on their own. Of course, your hard work is good for them and can enrich the experience a lot.

My nanny actually takes the opposite approach you do, which I appreciate mightily. She never tells me if my son makes a major change on her watch, so that I get to experience that "first" myself. It took me a while to realize this, but I know that him first sitting, rolling, walking, pointing, etc did not all just happen to occur on a weekend. I also know that some daycare teachers work this way and she administered a daycare for many years.

I am profoundly grateful for my nanny's incredible consideration. I will not tell her this explicitly, of course, since that would destroy the whole setup, but I try to be the best employer I can. I thank her for her work daily, tell her I am lucky and tell her that I appreciate the many small things she does for my son. I also give her a good raise whenever I can.

But this works both ways -- she is amazing to me in small ways too as I said. And this mutual consideration goes further -- we cover each other -- if she needs to leave early, I fix my schedule and likewise when I need to be late she manages. She occasionally brings her kids or mom by and I have no problem with this because we've built up trust and mutual respect.

I am not saying that your employers couldn't be better, but you really need to put yourself in their shoes for some time and think about whether it really makes sense for you to expect them to praise you and fully credit you for every single thing that goes on. Don't forget that your MB and DB are likely doing tummy time every weekend and night. You deserve their thanks, but unless there is much more to the situation than is normal, you can't be arrogant about their efforts, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, another MB here. I agree with you that clearly if you have been speaking French to your charge, you are contributing to him learning French. It would certainly be nice of your MB to acknowledge that. But I can't tell from your post -- from what other sources is he learning French?

I want to offer another perspective, however, on some of the other milestones. First, unless your charge has a disability, your work does not make the milestone happen. Kids will sit, stand, etc. on their own. Of course, your hard work is good for them and can enrich the experience a lot.

My nanny actually takes the opposite approach you do, which I appreciate mightily. She never tells me if my son makes a major change on her watch, so that I get to experience that "first" myself. It took me a while to realize this, but I know that him first sitting, rolling, walking, pointing, etc did not all just happen to occur on a weekend. I also know that some daycare teachers work this way and she administered a daycare for many years.

I am profoundly grateful for my nanny's incredible consideration. I will not tell her this explicitly, of course, since that would destroy the whole setup, but I try to be the best employer I can. I thank her for her work daily, tell her I am lucky and tell her that I appreciate the many small things she does for my son. I also give her a good raise whenever I can.

But this works both ways -- she is amazing to me in small ways too as I said. And this mutual consideration goes further -- we cover each other -- if she needs to leave early, I fix my schedule and likewise when I need to be late she manages. She occasionally brings her kids or mom by and I have no problem with this because we've built up trust and mutual respect.

I am not saying that your employers couldn't be better, but you really need to put yourself in their shoes for some time and think about whether it really makes sense for you to expect them to praise you and fully credit you for every single thing that goes on. Don't forget that your MB and DB are likely doing tummy time every weekend and night. You deserve their thanks, but unless there is much more to the situation than is normal, you can't be arrogant about their efforts, either.

OP here and I didn't mean to start any kind of a war between nannies and parents. Yes, I am the sole french speaker in my charges life and there is no other source of his learning the language but me (my charge has never seen TV or a computer screen). Everything he knows about the language has been achieved through my speaking and reading to him in french. And in his other early achievements/milestones, I never suggested that I was the only reason that he is advanced and never expected sole credit. And I never asked for praise. The fact is I have NEVER, not once, been told that I ever contributed to his achievements in french or any other early developmental milestone he's reached.

As I stated in my original post, none of this was ever a "deal breaker" for me. Some acknowledgement of my work with their child would be appreciated but is not mandatory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the child is hitting milestones early because he is that smart/advanced/etc. I mean, he's 2. Besides providing him with a supporting environment where his needs are met, not much of what you do is going "speed up" his development.

Wow - you are so WRONG!!!! Of course what you do can speed up development! Do you think a child who has never been read to is going to develop language skills at the same pace as a child who is read to every day? Or a baby who never does any tummy-time is going to sit, crawl or roll over at the same age as a baby who was encouraged and engaged during his hour of tummy time a day?

Why do you think people get advanced degrees in Early Childhood Development?

Seriously, I do hope you are not a nanny or a mother.

I understand that you (and most parents) wants this to be true, but it simply is not. Unless an environment is neglectful, a child will develop in the way that he is genetically determined to develop. His language skills, which are a reflection of his intellect, will be the same whether he is read to everyday or not. Unless he is placed in a closet away from human interaction (a neglectful environment) he will develop a language aptitude similar to his biological parents. Nobody likes hearing this though, as it would mean all those games of patty cake were a waste of time.

Now of course, if the Nanny is the only one who speaks French to the child, then she is the reason he knows French. However, that wouldn't make mom's statement about her child having an "ear for languages" wrong. In fact, if he is two and is speaking fluently in both French and English, he probably does have a talent for languages.

Oh, and I believe people get advanced degrees in Child Development because they are not intelligent enough to know they are spending years of their life and thousands of dollars on a degree that entitles them to a plethora of very poorly paying jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the child is hitting milestones early because he is that smart/advanced/etc. I mean, he's 2. Besides providing him with a supporting environment where his needs are met, not much of what you do is going "speed up" his development.

Wow - you are so WRONG!!!! Of course what you do can speed up development! Do you think a child who has never been read to is going to develop language skills at the same pace as a child who is read to every day? Or a baby who never does any tummy-time is going to sit, crawl or roll over at the same age as a baby who was encouraged and engaged during his hour of tummy time a day?

Why do you think people get advanced degrees in Early Childhood Development?

Seriously, I do hope you are not a nanny or a mother.

I understand that you (and most parents) wants this to be true, but it simply is not. Unless an environment is neglectful, a child will develop in the way that he is genetically determined to develop. His language skills, which are a reflection of his intellect, will be the same whether he is read to everyday or not. Unless he is placed in a closet away from human interaction (a neglectful environment) he will develop a language aptitude similar to his biological parents. Nobody likes hearing this though, as it would mean all those games of patty cake were a waste of time.

Now of course, if the Nanny is the only one who speaks French to the child, then she is the reason he knows French. However, that wouldn't make mom's statement about her child having an "ear for languages" wrong. In fact, if he is two and is speaking fluently in both French and English, he probably does have a talent for languages.

Oh, and I believe people get advanced degrees in Child Development because they are not intelligent enough to know they are spending years of their life and thousands of dollars on a degree that entitles them to a plethora of very poorly paying jobs.

You are stunningly misinformed.

[Anonymous]

Sigh..a nanny can not speed up a child's development. An environment that lacks stimulation can delay development but even Mary Poppins can not speed up early development.

At age 2, kids pick up languages like a sponges. Its actually easier for them to learn a foreign language than it is for an adult. So the nanny is incorrect in thinking that she is such an amazing French instructor. The MB is wrong for thinking her child is gifted in learning a language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh..a nanny can not speed up a child's development. An environment that lacks stimulation can delay development but even Mary Poppins can not speed up early development.

At age 2, kids pick up languages like a sponges. Its actually easier for them to learn a foreign language than it is for an adult. So the nanny is incorrect in thinking that she is such an amazing French instructor. The MB is wrong for thinking her child is gifted in learning a language.

Yeah - I agree with PP - you are "stunningly misinformed".

[Anonymous]

I have been a professional nanny for over 25 years, in 9 states, in which I cared for 33 children total. Some families were "traditional," others were "blended," and yet others were "non-traditional." Some first time parents and others seasoned parents. Some parents with "family" money and some with "new" money. Taking all of this in mind, I would give a child credit when credit is due just like I would do an adult, but I would not give credit or boast a child's actions/achievements if they are unwarranted. I believe this should be true,as well, for nannies by their employers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been a professional nanny for over 25 years, in 9 states, in which I cared for 33 children total. Some families were "traditional," others were "blended," and yet others were "non-traditional." Some first time parents and others seasoned parents. Some parents with "family" money and some with "new" money. Taking all of this in mind, I would give a child credit when credit is due just like I would do an adult, but I would not give credit or boast a child's actions/achievements if they are unwarranted. I believe this should be true,as well, for nannies by their employers.

Without reading this entire thread, what's your point? Thanks.