Never giving Nanny credit for child's accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

I've been with my current employers for over two and a half years and it just occurred to me yesterday that neither the MB nor DB has ever given me any credit for playing a part in their son's achievements/accomplishments! Yesterday my MB told me that she is amazed how easily my charge has been picking up French and she believe he may have a knack for languages. Since I am the only person in his life who can speak French and am with him 48 hours a week - wouldn't it occur to her that I may be teaching him well?

I thought back and realized that every accomplishment or milestone their child reached ahead of schedule was always attributed to how smart, coordinated, athletic their child was and never to my hours of lying prone on the floor with him for tummy-time or my talking, reading or singing to him nearly constantly. In the two and a half years I have been there, my employers have never once told me I was doing a good job or was a good nanny - however they have met every single one of my raise increase requests without hesitation (one at 10% and the other at 5%) so they must be pleased with my work. They are both very pleasant with me and I with them.

It is not a deal breaker by any means, but I don't understand why they are so withholding of credit due. Is it that they want to believe that their child is extraordinary? He is a very smart little man. Maybe they just don't give out compliments - I don't know - but it does seem strange when it would cost them nothing to acknowledge "the teacher" at any point in two and a half years!

[Anonymous]

They're first time parents and besotted with their child. But it's true that everyone likes to earn praise -- and money -- from their employers. I certainly do.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, How do they not acknowledge you for that!? Sorry to hear that OP. My MB makes a note for the baby book everyone her son accomplishes something new, and I definitely find it interesting that every ''first'' happens during the weekend with them. Even when I tell them LO has been doing some specific thing they brush it off only to announce it as big news later on when they see it themselves. Part of being a nanny I guess.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. I'm a nanny and work 50 hours a week and when my MB told me she really thinks the iPad apps they buy for their son has really taught him his colors/numbers/letters, I was a bit taken aback and disappointed. I guess the important thing is at least the kids are learning

[Anonymous]

You ladies are working for the wrong people. The parents I work with are always aware of the current goals I have for their children, and we work toward them as a team. They thank me all the time for how much I've taught their kids, and have never pretended they did it single handedly, or tried to attribute it to their genius or some stupid Ipad app. I couldn't stay somewhere that I felt my work was not acknowledged or appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Some people show their appreciation verbally through compliments and some show it through bonuses and raises.

Ever hear waiters talk about "the verbal tip"? It's where diners go on and on about how great the waiter was, the food was, the entire dining experience, but then leave a shit tip.

If you have to choose, do you want the verbal tip or the raises?

[Anonymous]

ha you say that like it is always one or the other ... never neither

[Anonymous]

OP here - glad I'm not alone in this! What was truly strange is that it just hit me yesterday with the french comment - as if the little guy had picked up french vocabulary on the street!

I'm happy in my position and I am paid fairly well - it's just bizarre that they will pay me for my work but never acknowledge my work!

[Anonymous]

Your MB is insecure as a parent. She knows you're doing the hard work with her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your MB is insecure as a parent. She knows you're doing the hard work with her kid.

Yeah, this is probably the sad truth. And she may have no idea what goes into teaching him these things.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the parents not acknowledging your hard work stems from them feeling guilty that they aren't responsible for their child's accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

I think the parents who refuse to acknowledge a nanny's contribution to the development and education of their child is based in guilt and jealously. Mostly jealousy. It really is such a petty and stingy trait for parents to have and yet so many of them do have this trait.

[Anonymous]

I would generalize that the majority of MBs, in particular, are jealous of the nanny and guilty for leaving their child. I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions to this but that has been my experience. My favorite is when I hand off the child to one parent and tell him/her something new or cute the child did that day and then, the next day, the other parent tells me the new or cute thing the child did the day before. I never say, "I know - I'm the one who told your husband/wife about it". I just smile.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. As a mom who has had several fantastic nannies, I feel enormous gratitude to them for helping make my children the fantastic little people they have become. I always make a point of telling them this, too, because it's true. In our case, it has nothing to do with learning french or whatever-- it's just the benefits of being around caring, kind people.

[Anonymous]

What if the child is hitting milestones early because he is that smart/advanced/etc. I mean, he's 2. Besides providing him with a supporting environment where his needs are met, not much of what you do is going "speed up" his development.