Can you keep a secret? -- Am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, OP isn't a troll because her post was also on a Facebook nanny support group where her name was attached to this story and it's true...I don't know her but she's obviously an idiot and unprofessional.

You and your name calling aren't that mature either, FYI.

[Anonymous]

I would not fire you for burning food or serving mac 'n cheese. I would seriously consider firing you - and only refrain from doing so if you were a long-time nanny that was otherwise awesome with my kids - for asking them to lie and telling them that telling the truth would cost you your job. And this would be something where I"m willing to cut you 1 chance - if you are otherwise awesome for years - but if I ever again here about you asking my kid to withhold something from me, no matter how stupid that one little thing is, then I would fire you on the spot.

If you're not a troll, OP, then I'm appalled that you don't get this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not fire you for burning food or serving mac 'n cheese. I would seriously consider firing you - and only refrain from doing so if you were a long-time nanny that was otherwise awesome with my kids - for asking them to lie and telling them that telling the truth would cost you your job. And this would be something where I"m willing to cut you 1 chance - if you are otherwise awesome for years - but if I ever again here about you asking my kid to withhold something from me, no matter how stupid that one little thing is, then I would fire you on the spot.

If you're not a troll, OP, then I'm appalled that you don't get this.

Another MB here who agrees with this totally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. OP, I don't love this. I can see it happening very occasionally, but I don't want you teaching my kids to help you cover your errors. I don't expect you to be perfect, I don't care if you burn dinner and serve mac-n-cheese again (though I care about nutrition in general but that's a separate issue).

But semi-routinely asking my children to lie for you to cover your back? And seeming to treat their willingness to do it as a measure of their love for you?! Yikes.

Not cool. It isn't my kid(s)' job to cover for you. It's fun for them to be your allies in harmless allegiances - sure. But lying for you? Nope.

You and I have to be the most important allies and I need to know that you're honest and direct with me. If I'm not confident in that then you're not the right person for the job.

And I agree w/ the pp - it really makes you sound incredibly immature. I don't want anyone w/ a teenager's mentality of pulling one over on the parents in the nanny role for my kids. I want a grown up. Maybe you can't cook, but you see yourself siding with the grownups, not the children.

Absolutely this.

I would never ask my charges to keep a secret. It's just a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you sound very immature

I hope she got that by now. I'd like to think that she won't be doing that nonsense any more. But hey, I bet she's terrific buddies with the kids. And that's EXACTLY what some parents want. It's true. I've seen them.

I think this thread is an excellent example to illustrate to parents why you need the nanny to be your "partner" here, not a "playmate" type for your kid. I understand that some parents may not share my view.

Parents need to stop hiring playmates.

[Anonymous]

I get what you're saying, OP. but aren't you afraid that the kids will then go tell their parents (when questioned by MB and DB, and possibly after getting nervous or hesitant about lying) that "nanny told me not to tell you"?? That sounds much worse than telling MB/DB you served something different for dinner bc the original food got burned!

[Anonymous]

It sounds much worse because it IS much worse!!

[Anonymous]

I saw this posted in the tribe too on Facebook, it's not a troll.

I think the OP's intention was to make lighthearted in her own mistakes. If you can laugh at yourself, you'll behead of the curve. However, I think it was the use of the word "secret," that set everyone off.

However, my older sister was molested by one of our childhood caregivers. I swear, it was by her protection and the grace of God nothing happened to me. She was told a story to trust and believe our caregiver, that she was helping him release some demons and that in order for the demons to leave it had to be a secret. We grew up religious, so at age 8, she believed it to be true. She didn't tell anyone until she was 32. This was after the therapy she received for her crack addiction she had to deal with her sexual abuse.

So yeah, I don't like secrets.

I don't keep secrets with kids. If you really want to protect them, you can never promise to keep a secret, especially if they want to tell you something such as they are being molested. As nannies, we are mandated reports to any abuse to children. If they learn it's okay to have secrets with the nanny, they may think that all secrets, good or bad, are okay.

Also, I do appreciate the mother who commented saying she felt it was the nanny having the kids lie for all she did wrong. I can understand that mother's thought process.