Can you keep a secret? -- Am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who's used the "Do you like me being your nanny? Yes? Then let's not tell mom I burnt supper and we ate mac n chz AGAIN, k? K." Haha. I love that my charges love me enough to keep and share secrets.

On a Facebook nanny group called Nanny Tribe, I was told that I was wrong and that keeping a secret likens my to a molester because that is the same word they use. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

I think you probably are exaggerating the reactions you got. I doubt anyone said you were like a molester. They probably said they don't use the word "secrets", explained why, and you got all huffy.

[Anonymous]

Keeping little secrets like that one is okay...Even if the kid told his parents, I am sure they would see the humor in it.

Being molested and being told to keep that secret is a whole different ball game altogether.

I wouldn't go on that Facebook page.
Someone on there is clueless.

[Anonymous]

What a troll. How old are you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I would never tell the kids not to tell mom. Or dad. I think it's disrespectful to the parents and sends the kids the wrong message. I don't think anyone should tell kids to keep anything from their parents... barring a gift (which will eventually be revealed).

[Anonymous]

OP is a sitter, not a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is a sitter, not a nanny.

Op here-- No I am a nanny not a sitter. There is a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a sitter, not a nanny.

Op here-- No I am a nanny not a sitter. There is a difference.

A nanny would not engage in such nonsense. A young babysitter might.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a sitter, not a nanny.

Op here-- No I am a nanny not a sitter. There is a difference.

A nanny would not engage in such nonsense. A young babysitter might.

I don't mean to offend you, OP. But please stop doing that. It's really immature. OK?

[Anonymous]

MB here. OP, I don't love this. I can see it happening very occasionally, but I don't want you teaching my kids to help you cover your errors. I don't expect you to be perfect, I don't care if you burn dinner and serve mac-n-cheese again (though I care about nutrition in general but that's a separate issue).

But semi-routinely asking my children to lie for you to cover your back? And seeming to treat their willingness to do it as a measure of their love for you?! Yikes.

Not cool. It isn't my kid(s)' job to cover for you. It's fun for them to be your allies in harmless allegiances - sure. But lying for you? Nope.

You and I have to be the most important allies and I need to know that you're honest and direct with me. If I'm not confident in that then you're not the right person for the job.

And I agree w/ the pp - it really makes you sound incredibly immature. I don't want anyone w/ a teenager's mentality of pulling one over on the parents in the nanny role for my kids. I want a grown up. Maybe you can't cook, but you see yourself siding with the grownups, not the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. OP, I don't love this. I can see it happening very occasionally, but I don't want you teaching my kids to help you cover your errors. I don't expect you to be perfect, I don't care if you burn dinner and serve mac-n-cheese again (though I care about nutrition in general but that's a separate issue).

But semi-routinely asking my children to lie for you to cover your back? And seeming to treat their willingness to do it as a measure of their love for you?! Yikes.

Not cool. It isn't my kid(s)' job to cover for you. It's fun for them to be your allies in harmless allegiances - sure. But lying for you? Nope.

You and I have to be the most important allies and I need to know that you're honest and direct with me. If I'm not confident in that then you're not the right person for the job.

And I agree w/ the pp - it really makes you sound incredibly immature. I don't want anyone w/ a teenager's mentality of pulling one over on the parents in the nanny role for my kids. I want a grown up. Maybe you can't cook, but you see yourself siding with the grownups, not the children.

Hence, the vital importance of good nanny being a "partner" as opposed to a big sis type who you treat like a child.

[Anonymous]

Agree that you sound very immature

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you sound very immature

I hope she got that by now. I'd like to think that she won't be doing that nonsense any more. But hey, I bet she's terrific buddies with the kids. And that's EXACTLY what some parents want. It's true. I've seen them.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here that sees both sides of this. I think I can relate to OP as she seems like a laid back nanny working for a laid back family which is my situation as well.

Personally, I wouldn't do this as I feel like modeling secrets and "white lies" is something for the parents to do and not the Nanny, however close you are with the family.

However, I think people are really coming down hard on her. She may otherwise be a terrific nanny and we all have made errors along the way. Can't we just be like: "OP, it's great that you have such a close relationship with your charges, but I can see how that could backfire, so maybe consider another way of handling it "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here that sees both sides of this. I think I can relate to OP as she seems like a laid back nanny working for a laid back family which is my situation as well.

Personally, I wouldn't do this as I feel like modeling secrets and "white lies" is something for the parents to do and not the Nanny, however close you are with the family.

However, I think people are really coming down hard on her. She may otherwise be a terrific nanny and we all have made errors along the way. Can't we just be like: "OP, it's great that you have such a close relationship with your charges, but I can see how that could backfire, so maybe consider another way of handling it "

What OP described to us, is not an indication of a close relationship.