Nanny dilemma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think consistency is important but she sounds awful and for the price you are paying her she should be Mary Poppins

Some of you would hate a Mary Poppins, lol. You'd have to step in line. Imagine that.

Mary Poppins quits without notice, so yeah, she wouldn't get a second chance. Not so fabulous after all.

She'd never want a second chance after she was done with you. Sorry to pop your little bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think consistency is important but she sounds awful and for the price you are paying her she should be Mary Poppins

Some of you would hate a Mary Poppins, lol. You'd have to step in line. Imagine that.

Mary Poppins quits without notice, so yeah, she wouldn't get a second chance. Not so fabulous after all.

She'd never want a second chance after she was done with you. Sorry to pop your little bubble.

Mary Poppins is a literary character. She doesn't actually exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. Thanks for the feedback. To answer some questions:
1. For Saturdays we will be paying her overtime at 150% which we do anyway if she goes over 40 hours. I understand that many do not like working on Saturdays which is why I labored the point at the interview to the point where she came back with questions at which I clarified that it wasn't every Saturday nor all day Saturday. Just 3-4 hours on the Saturdays we go out. We are always back by 10:30 -11:30. I only put 2 Saturdays on contract to cover myself. I hate baiting and switching particularly with my kids' care givers.
2. I know it seems like I am a sucker but, this being our third nanny (1st was with us for 5 yrs but, at 65, I didn't think she would be able to cope with 2 new borns especially as she was already refusing to drive because she was getting nervous; second- after 3 years betrayed our trust in a big way- borrowed money from us to buy a car which she never bought and went to our neighbor begging for the money to pay us back telling neighbor we were threatening to sack her if she did not pay is back -we were not), there doesn't seem to be the perfect nanny out there.
3. I could insist she stick to the contract but what's the point in having someone unhappy with us caring for our kids? This is why I haven't pushed the Saturday and cleaning issues. If she's going to be irritable with the kids as a result I'd rather not go that route.
Wouldn't it be better to just try again?

We try so hard to make our nannies happy by being very clear at interviews, paying reasonably well with perks ( medical insurance, taxes, 5 days paid sick and 4 weeks paid vacation (2 weeks nanny's choice )), giving interest free loans with easy repayment terms, but there's always an issue. I figure this nanny checks most of the boxes, hence my hesitation in firing her.

OP, I think this is your mistake. There is nothing wrong with a happy nanny, but the purpose of her employment is NOT to make her happy. It is to make YOU happy. You need to shed the guilt you seem to have in making the judgment that some people aren't going to work out for you. You are giving her an EXCELLENT package, and for that package you ought to have a total peace of mind that things are being done to YOUR satisfaction. You are the employer. You have the right to insist on compliance with your wishes. You sign the checks, don't you forget it! If you directed the nanny to speak only Spanish, she needs to speak the damn Spanish or be fired!! Why are you feeling conflicted about this?

Your nanny is totally taking advantage of you. The hiring of her friend to clean your house for extra $ makes it very clear to me. She figured you for a sucker and is pushing forward. Tell me, what would your employer do if you told them you can't do some of the things you were hired for, and they need to pay extra for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think consistency is important but she sounds awful and for the price you are paying her she should be Mary Poppins

Some of you would hate a Mary Poppins, lol. You'd have to step in line. Imagine that.

Mary Poppins quits without notice, so yeah, she wouldn't get a second chance. Not so fabulous after all.

She'd never want a second chance after she was done with you. Sorry to pop your little bubble.

Mary Poppins is a literary character. She doesn't actually exist.

OOOOOh! Well, that changes everything! Thanks for the tip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. Thanks for the feedback. To answer some questions:
1. For Saturdays we will be paying her overtime at 150% which we do anyway if she goes over 40 hours. I understand that many do not like working on Saturdays which is why I labored the point at the interview to the point where she came back with questions at which I clarified that it wasn't every Saturday nor all day Saturday. Just 3-4 hours on the Saturdays we go out. We are always back by 10:30 -11:30. I only put 2 Saturdays on contract to cover myself. I hate baiting and switching particularly with my kids' care givers.
2. I know it seems like I am a sucker but, this being our third nanny (1st was with us for 5 yrs but, at 65, I didn't think she would be able to cope with 2 new borns especially as she was already refusing to drive because she was getting nervous; second- after 3 years betrayed our trust in a big way- borrowed money from us to buy a car which she never bought and went to our neighbor begging for the money to pay us back telling neighbor we were threatening to sack her if she did not pay is back -we were not), there doesn't seem to be the perfect nanny out there.
3. I could insist she stick to the contract but what's the point in having someone unhappy with us caring for our kids? This is why I haven't pushed the Saturday and cleaning issues. If she's going to be irritable with the kids as a result I'd rather not go that route.
Wouldn't it be better to just try again?

We try so hard to make our nannies happy by being very clear at interviews, paying reasonably well with perks ( medical insurance, taxes, 5 days paid sick and 4 weeks paid vacation (2 weeks nanny's choice )), giving interest free loans with easy repayment terms, but there's always an issue. I figure this nanny checks most of the boxes, hence my hesitation in firing her.

OP, I think this is your mistake. There is nothing wrong with a happy nanny, but the purpose of her employment is NOT to make her happy. It is to make YOU happy. You need to shed the guilt you seem to have in making the judgment that some people aren't going to work out for you. You are giving her an EXCELLENT package, and for that package you ought to have a total peace of mind that things are being done to YOUR satisfaction. You are the employer. You have the right to insist on compliance with your wishes. You sign the checks, don't you forget it! If you directed the nanny to speak only Spanish, she needs to speak the damn Spanish or be fired!! Why are you feeling conflicted about this?

Your nanny is totally taking advantage of you. The hiring of her friend to clean your house for extra $ makes it very clear to me. She figured you for a sucker and is pushing forward. Tell me, what would your employer do if you told them you can't do some of the things you were hired for, and they need to pay extra for them?

In regards to the house cleaning--I assumed OP meant her nanny hired her own friend and is paying her $60/week herself out of her own salary. If this is the case, it's still weird and gutsy to do something like that. If its not the case and OP is actually paying this house-cleaning friend herself ON TOP of her nanny's salary, then, well. That is just nuts and the OP would have to be crazy-nice or just crazy-naive to do that.

[nannydebsays]

OP, you're overpaying by about $500/week for the care your (not so) fabulous nanny is providing. Let her go for cause, and find someone who is actually WORTH the enormous salary you pay. You can find someone who will do what she is expected to do. I promise.

Of course, if you've left a lot out of your post, like the size of your home that has to be cleaned vs. the time available to clean it, or whatnot, our responses won't be too much help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. Thanks for the feedback. To answer some questions:
1. For Saturdays we will be paying her overtime at 150% which we do anyway if she goes over 40 hours. I understand that many do not like working on Saturdays which is why I labored the point at the interview to the point where she came back with questions at which I clarified that it wasn't every Saturday nor all day Saturday. Just 3-4 hours on the Saturdays we go out. We are always back by 10:30 -11:30. I only put 2 Saturdays on contract to cover myself. I hate baiting and switching particularly with my kids' care givers.
2. I know it seems like I am a sucker but, this being our third nanny (1st was with us for 5 yrs but, at 65, I didn't think she would be able to cope with 2 new borns especially as she was already refusing to drive because she was getting nervous; second- after 3 years betrayed our trust in a big way- borrowed money from us to buy a car which she never bought and went to our neighbor begging for the money to pay us back telling neighbor we were threatening to sack her if she did not pay is back -we were not), there doesn't seem to be the perfect nanny out there.
3. I could insist she stick to the contract but what's the point in having someone unhappy with us caring for our kids? This is why I haven't pushed the Saturday and cleaning issues. If she's going to be irritable with the kids as a result I'd rather not go that route.
Wouldn't it be better to just try again?

We try so hard to make our nannies happy by being very clear at interviews, paying reasonably well with perks ( medical insurance, taxes, 5 days paid sick and 4 weeks paid vacation (2 weeks nanny's choice )), giving interest free loans with easy repayment terms, but there's always an issue. I figure this nanny checks most of the boxes, hence my hesitation in firing her.

OP, I think this is your mistake. There is nothing wrong with a happy nanny, but the purpose of her employment is NOT to make her happy. It is to make YOU happy. You need to shed the guilt you seem to have in making the judgment that some people aren't going to work out for you. You are giving her an EXCELLENT package, and for that package you ought to have a total peace of mind that things are being done to YOUR satisfaction. You are the employer. You have the right to insist on compliance with your wishes. You sign the checks, don't you forget it! If you directed the nanny to speak only Spanish, she needs to speak the damn Spanish or be fired!! Why are you feeling conflicted about this?

Your nanny is totally taking advantage of you. The hiring of her friend to clean your house for extra $ makes it very clear to me. She figured you for a sucker and is pushing forward. Tell me, what would your employer do if you told them you can't do some of the things you were hired for, and they need to pay extra for them?

In regards to the house cleaning--I assumed OP meant her nanny hired her own friend and is paying her $60/week herself out of her own salary. If this is the case, it's still weird and gutsy to do something like that. If its not the case and OP is actually paying this house-cleaning friend herself ON TOP of her nanny's salary, then, well. That is just nuts and the OP would have to be crazy-nice or just crazy-naive to do that.

OP here. No I am paying extra - not from nanny's pay.

[Anonymous]

nannydebsays wrote:OP, you're overpaying by about $500/week for the care your (not so) fabulous nanny is providing. Let her go for cause, and find someone who is actually WORTH the enormous salary you pay. You can find someone who will do what she is expected to do. I promise.

Of course, if you've left a lot out of your post, like the size of your home that has to be cleaned vs. the time available to clean it, or whatnot, our responses won't be too much help.

My house is not huge - about 2500 sq ft. As I said in first post kids are in school 3 mornings a week (school is 10-15 mins away depending opn traffic). I told her she could clean either on one of the days or over all 3 days as long as house is cleaned once a week. Kids will be in school full time come september (9-3). She told me in the first week that she was too busy to clean and that she had asked her friend to do the cleaning for $60 a week. I pay the $60 over and above nanny's salary.

Thank you all for your responses. I have already started my search today.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you really like her aside from the problems you listed (which are significant!), then it might be worth to have one more sit down with her and say "Nanny, we really appreciate a lot of what you have been doing for us. Your pro active with the kids, organized and we can see the positive relationship you have with our children. However, we agreed in our contract to certain terms which are not being met. We would like to make this work and to do so we need you to help out with cleaning the house, working 2 Saturdays a month and speak to our children in Spanish. If you can not meet all this criteria then we will have to re examine our situation" Give her one more chance and then call it off if she drops the ball. Let us know how it all works out and good luck!

[Anonymous]

Some perspective here---you are paying this nanny significantly more than a new full time certified teacher would make in Fairfax County, to work a FAR easier job and get free room and board. For that pay, you could expect someone with a degree in Early Childhood education!

You ate getting seriously swindled by this woman. She is taking advantage of you in a shocking way, but the shock is that you let her walk all over you to this degree. She lets your older kid GO HUNGRY and gets annoyed with you when you call her on it. Who's the boss here, OP?

[Anonymous]

The older child was about 11, or so? I doubt he went hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some perspective here---you are paying this nanny significantly more than a new full time certified teacher would make in Fairfax County, to work a FAR easier job and get free room and board. For that pay, you could expect someone with a degree in Early Childhood education!

You ate getting seriously swindled by this woman. She is taking advantage of you in a shocking way, but the shock is that you let her walk all over you to this degree. She lets your older kid GO HUNGRY and gets annoyed with you when you call her on it. Who's the boss here, OP?

PP, your remarks are super offensive to professional nannies who take their careers seriously. Don't belittle us by saying our jobs are easier than that of a teacher. Why wouldn't you pay top dollar to someone who is helping raise your child. I ABSOLUTELY would say that OP has a deserving nanny. She is also offensive to the professional nanny name.

It is sickening to see people devalue the important occupation of nanny. Why do think a teacher is a more important trade than nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some perspective here---you are paying this nanny significantly more than a new full time certified teacher would make in Fairfax County, to work a FAR easier job and get free room and board. For that pay, you could expect someone with a degree in Early Childhood education!

You ate getting seriously swindled by this woman. She is taking advantage of you in a shocking way, but the shock is that you let her walk all over you to this degree. She lets your older kid GO HUNGRY and gets annoyed with you when you call her on it. Who's the boss here, OP?

PP, your remarks are super offensive to professional nannies who take their careers seriously. Don't belittle us by saying our jobs are easier than that of a teacher. Why wouldn't you pay top dollar to someone who is helping raise your child. I ABSOLUTELY would say that OP has a deserving nanny. She is also offensive to the professional nanny name.

It is sickening to see people devalue the important occupation of nanny. Why do think a teacher is a more important trade than nanny?

I suspect it's only one mb troll on this forum. She's rather boring since she's virtually incapable of much useful debate or discussion.

[Anonymous]

PP, your remarks are super offensive to professional nannies who take their careers seriously. Don't belittle us by saying our jobs are easier than that of a teacher.

I'm not the poster you are referring to in your response, but come on...a nanny position is far, far easier than being a teacher or even a daycare worker. If you've seen both sides you would know that managing a room full of children is much harder than caring for 1-2 kids in their home. Many nanny positions afford nannies with tons of flexibility as to how they spend their day. They can run errands, arrange playdates with fellow nannies, have a less active day around the house if they are tired. nap when the kid naps...the list goes on and on. As long as you don't abuse these perks, this is generally fine but not something a teacher could fathom getting to do during her day.

Teaching also requires an education. You can be a fabulous nanny without any education.

[Anonymous]

PP, your remarks are super offensive to professional nannies who take their careers seriously. Don't belittle us by saying our jobs are easier than that of a teacher.


I'm not the poster you are referring to in your response, but come on...a nanny position is far, far easier than being a teacher or even a daycare worker. If you've seen both sides you would know that managing a room full of children is much harder than caring for 1-2 kids in their home. Many nanny positions afford nannies with tons of flexibility as to how they spend their day. They can run errands, arrange playdates with fellow nannies, have a less active day around the house if they are tired. nap when the kid naps...the list goes on and on. As long as you don't abuse these perks, this is generally fine but not something a teacher could fathom getting to do during her day.

Teaching also requires an education. You can be a fabulous nanny without any education.

Yes! This exactly. Being a nanny is much easier than being a teacher.