Are we getting taken advantage of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again - thanks so much for all the input. We will sit down with her and go over our concerns and give her a chance to step up her performance. In the meantime, I will prepare myself for the nanny search - which I dread. I hope I can find a nanny like some of the ones that have posted here. I know my kids deserve better.

I'm a nanny, OP, and although I haven't posted on this thread before I think this is absolutely right and wish you luck! She sounds like a mediocre nanny - it's great that your three-year-old likes her, and you're right that crying is a three-year-old thing - it is indicative of your sense of reality that you're not harping on that as a reason she might be inadequate... it's all the other reasons you listed that make her inadequate!

I would ask probably $22 starting rate for this job (at 37 hrs/week) and would go lower with the inclusion of healthcare. At my job I do all of the children's laundry, all the dishes (yes, even the parents' breakfast dishes), sanitize toys bi-monthly, give daily baths, vacuum weekly, buy groceries for the children and prepare baby food (I don't do the adult grocery shopping but I would if my employers wanted me to), pick up all of the baby's necessities (diapers and wipes, vitamin supplements from the pharmacy, etc.), seek out playgroups and story hours at least once a week (our aim is twice but you know how things go), go on daily outings (even if this is just a walk around the neighborhood, as it was today, to see the construction vehicles), wipe up counters, sweep floors, spot-treat stains on the carpet when I notice them (or on a long-nap day), organize and store clothes as children grow out of them, manage the rotation of toys to keep up interest, go weekly to the thrift store to pick out new books for 50c each, etc. To be clear, my contract says I will be responsible for the children's laundry, helping with food preparation, and tidying up any messes we make - it's the great reciprocal relationship I have with my employers that leads me to make the most of naptimes and do all the rest (and they reciprocate in their own ways - by letting me leave early often, by giving me a lovely holiday bonus, and sometimes just by saying thank you and how much they appreciate it).

So, yes, a toddler and an infant is a lot to manage, but my purpose in listing this all out is not to pat myself on the back but to give you a sense of how many things a good nanny can do to keep your house running smoothly. For that price, you can find a GREAT live-out nanny who will make the money you're spending on childcare really feel worth it. I agree with PP that when you ask your nanny to step up her game, she might push back or even look for another job, so definitely begin your search now so you aren't left stranded. Keep in mind the (good) advice you've gotten here when interviewing potential candidates and be sure your job description includes your absolute priorities so you get more bang for your buck with the next hire!

Finally, I would encourage you to begin this search sooner than later, as introducing a new nanny to a 5 or 6 month old is much easier than a 9 or 10 month old, who'll be in the grips of separation anxiety. Don't let waffling about this so-so employee lead you to delay at least the searching for a better fit. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

What are her qualifications? Please tell me she has an Early Childhood Education with that rate. And most nannies have First Aid/CPR Cert.

Is she a former teacher, have any degrees to show for her demanding rate? If not, then sack her ASAP! She is just a glorified babysitter and you could hire a REAL professional who is attentive and active with a ECE, etc to show for it. And for much less at that.

[Anonymous]

$22/hr is way too high for a nanny. In DC, $16-$18 hour is the market rate for an experienced nanny with just child related duties.

[Anonymous]

It all depends on what you want. Just as in the rest of the real world, you get what you pay for. Not always, but usually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your comments. Funny thing is that our nanny doesn't seem particularly happy - she told my mother that 'not everyone would want this job'. I know that two little kids are a handful, but the 3 yr old is somewhat independent and usually pretty happy.
As for the TV, I would get rid of it, but honestly my DH and I like to chill and watch TV/movies after the kids are down. The one in the family room is the only one in the house, and it's bolted down to a console table.
I guess I have to decide whether it's worth it to make it work with her or start with someone new. Put up or shut up.

Is it a tv that allows you to fully remove the power cord from it (like it attaches to the wall and to the tv, is not a permanent fixed cord)? If so, just unplug the power cord. Plug it back in when you want to use the tv. You should also be able to set some kind of parental controls in the settings, make all channels accessible by using a code only.

[Anonymous]

PP here, that is just to keep people off the tv if you don't want them to even do a small amount like 30 minutes a day (which is not necessary when nanny is with kids).

If I were you, I would actually just find a new nanny. Yours does sound lazy, entitled, and doesn't even do anything worthwhile to help out with the household (like kids laundry and other things normally listed as nanny duties). She is WAY overcharging you, and you are better off finding a new one that will do these things, not use the tv, and won't charge $25/hr for that. She is majorly taking advantage of you.

[Anonymous]

New nanny

=

Severed bond


.....unless child is already attachment adverse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New nanny

=

Severed bond


.....unless child is already attachment adverse.

Sorry, that's not a good enough reason to keep on a nanny that doesn't seem to really be doing much with the kids and asks for an extremely high rate for doing that mediocre work. If nanny was moving away, going back to school FT or just didn't like the position anymore, you would have to go through the whole process of finding a new nanny and having them bond with the kids. I think because the nanny seems to not really be doing a great job, that it is the perfect reason to have your child bond with a new one. The nanny is supposed to be a good role model with things that the kids see everyday while growing up. A lazy nanny is not who you want the kids to think is how they should grow up to be.

[Anonymous]

I care for a 7-month-old and 7-year old, live-out, and do daily housework, grocery shopping, laundry, and meal prep while the baby is napping, and the 7-year old NEVER watches TV, unless he has a day off of school and he EARNS 30 minutes of TV time per day. I also spend 1-2 hours a day doing homework, reading, and additional "learning time" with him. I gross $19 p/ hour and time and a half over 40 hours. I work 45-47 hours a week. Granted, I work in California (Silicon Valley), but I don't think nanny wages are THAT different between here and DC, and I'm making an average-to-high hourly wage. I think it's time to have a sit-down with your nanny.

[Anonymous]

You sound like the mum.

[Anonymous]

Bottom line: What you're paying is very good, and your Nanny is not. Start looking to line up a backup, and have a frank discussion with her about your feelings -- perhaps the log is the answer and she's doing more than you think. If not, however, you'll need to tell her your expectations -- if it sounds like too much for her, you can both start looking for new situations. You definitely can get a great candidate willing to do more in DC for that amount of money.

[Anonymous]

yes, taken advatange of.

[Anonymous]

And your children are your victims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again - thanks so much for all the input. We will sit down with her and go over our concerns and give her a chance to step up her performance. In the meantime, I will prepare myself for the nanny search - which I dread. I hope I can find a nanny like some of the ones that have posted here. I know my kids deserve better.

I'm a nanny, OP, and although I haven't posted on this thread before I think this is absolutely right and wish you luck! She sounds like a mediocre nanny - it's great that your three-year-old likes her, and you're right that crying is a three-year-old thing - it is indicative of your sense of reality that you're not harping on that as a reason she might be inadequate... it's all the other reasons you listed that make her inadequate!

I would ask probably $22 starting rate for this job (at 37 hrs/week) and would go lower with the inclusion of healthcare. At my job I do all of the children's laundry, all the dishes (yes, even the parents' breakfast dishes), sanitize toys bi-monthly, give daily baths, vacuum weekly, buy groceries for the children and prepare baby food (I don't do the adult grocery shopping but I would if my employers wanted me to), pick up all of the baby's necessities (diapers and wipes, vitamin supplements from the pharmacy, etc.), seek out playgroups and story hours at least once a week (our aim is twice but you know how things go), go on daily outings (even if this is just a walk around the neighborhood, as it was today, to see the construction vehicles), wipe up counters, sweep floors, spot-treat stains on the carpet when I notice them (or on a long-nap day), organize and store clothes as children grow out of them, manage the rotation of toys to keep up interest, go weekly to the thrift store to pick out new books for 50c each, etc. To be clear, my contract says I will be responsible for the children's laundry, helping with food preparation, and tidying up any messes we make - it's the great reciprocal relationship I have with my employers that leads me to make the most of naptimes and do all the rest (and they reciprocate in their own ways - by letting me leave early often, by giving me a lovely holiday bonus, and sometimes just by saying thank you and how much they appreciate it).

So, yes, a toddler and an infant is a lot to manage, but my purpose in listing this all out is not to pat myself on the back but to give you a sense of how many things a good nanny can do to keep your house running smoothly. For that price, you can find a GREAT live-out nanny who will make the money you're spending on childcare really feel worth it. I agree with PP that when you ask your nanny to step up her game, she might push back or even look for another job, so definitely begin your search now so you aren't left stranded. Keep in mind the (good) advice you've gotten here when interviewing potential candidates and be sure your job description includes your absolute priorities so you get more bang for your buck with the next hire!

Finally, I would encourage you to begin this search sooner than later, as introducing a new nanny to a 5 or 6 month old is much easier than a 9 or 10 month old, who'll be in the grips of separation anxiety. Don't let waffling about this so-so employee lead you to delay at least the searching for a better fit. Good luck!

can i hire you? or where can i find another you?

[Anonymous]

She does not sound like she's worth $22 dollars and hour, and she sounds lazy.

I took care of two infants who were 3 weeks apart in age for $15 an hour. I also did light housekeeping and child related laundry.

I'm assuming that's a little on the low end (and $22 is on the higher end). But the families were great and the fact that they were practically covering my transportation costs and I got guaranteed hours/sick days/paid holidays helped.

Watching TV and taking 2 hour naps while on the clock everyday is horrible, IMO. I admit that I did occasionally doze (only if I was really tired, which was surprisingly very rare) but never full fledged 2 hour naps.