Are we getting taken advantage of?

[Anonymous]

We have had our live-out nanny for 3.5 yrs with a starting pay of $17/hr (pretax) all fed holidays off, 2 weeks paid vacation. We do not pay health care for her - she said she'd rather have higher hourly wage. She got yearly raises up to 19/hr. After the birth of our second child, she asked for $25/hr. We were shocked but settled at $22/hr. Older child is in preschool during one of the four days she works for us, but he also naps every day from 2-4. She does not do laundry, cook, or clean. And most times I come home from work, my kids are sitting in front of the TV. My DH insists that we fire her and get a live in nanny to save money. I'm scared to make a change. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Get the tv out, and give us an update.

[Anonymous]

Live-in nannies do not save money. It's a common myth, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

That is way to much for someone who does nothing else beside childcare for two children. I make $20 for two kids with no chores but I clean if things are a mess and keep everything organized. I also offer to run errands, do laundry but am turned down. Instead I plan fun activities, art projects and offer to help whenever I can.

Unless the children are allowed 30mins of tv in the evening there is no reason why your nanny shouldn't be actively engaging your children.

[Anonymous]

I got 24 per hr for babysitting 1 kid. Not at all to much for me or MB.

[Anonymous]

How many hours is she working? Some part time nannies ask for a higher wage because it's hard to fill the remaining hours.

However, your nanny should contribute more.
Kid related: straighten toys and books, kid laundry, cook basic meals, wipe down tables/sweep floors after a messy lunch, running and emptying dishwasher.

[Anonymous]

OP here - she works 37 hrs/wk. At this point she has not done laundry, cleaned or cooked - so how can I ask her to do it now without offering her more money - which we are not prepared to do. I have no idea how much TV the kids are watching b/c I'm not there, but my DS knows every show on sprout and nick jr, and I never watch that stuff with him.

[Anonymous]

Why not get the tv out? Problem solved. Too simple?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - she works 37 hrs/wk. At this point she has not done laundry, cleaned or cooked - so how can I ask her to do it now without offering her more money - which we are not prepared to do. I have no idea how much TV the kids are watching b/c I'm not there, but my DS knows every show on sprout and nick jr, and I never watch that stuff with him.

You tell her that since one is in pre school now and naps long, that you'd like her to start doing some things around the house. Your nanny is probably loving her life...gets paid $22/hr to sit on her ass all day. Change her duties or get someone new.

[Anonymous]

Great advice revolving door mama.

[Anonymous]

Tell her no more tv, and ask your 3 year old how they are spending their days. If there are child related tasks you'd like her to do, start there. Let her know that you would like some more help with these tasks and apologize for not including them initially. Tell her that you realize that you are changing the nature of the job she agreed to, but you aren't willing to offer more money. Be prepared to replace her, and let her know if she feels this is unfair she is welcome to look for a new job. You can find someone great for $18-$20/hour and they will be willing to help out if you make your expectations clear upfront.

[Anonymous]

OMG. Which is worse, inept parents or some of the inept advice found here, by more inept parents?

[Anonymous]

I bet your nanny will not quit anytime soon!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your comments. Funny thing is that our nanny doesn't seem particularly happy - she told my mother that 'not everyone would want this job'. I know that two little kids are a handful, but the 3 yr old is somewhat independent and usually pretty happy.
As for the TV, I would get rid of it, but honestly my DH and I like to chill and watch TV/movies after the kids are down. The one in the family room is the only one in the house, and it's bolted down to a console table.
I guess I have to decide whether it's worth it to make it work with her or start with someone new. Put up or shut up.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think you are being taken advantage of. Mostly b/c your nanny seems inflexible and unwilling to really put in any effort to actually care and nurture your children.

Is $22/hour a little high? Maybe, but not unheard of for a great nanny and 37 hours/week is not really considered full time by most nannies.

The bigger problem is what appears to be her attitude - it also appears she may be used to walking all over her.

I'd have a heart to heart with her - focussing on her job performance - and really set clear expectations. It is not unreasonable for her to do some minor housekeeping (e.g., emptying out the dishwasher/sweeping after meals/making sure common play and living areas are free of toys).