How has being a nanny changed your ideals of parenting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't been on in a few weeks and I'm sad I missed this post!

I always thought I wanted to be a mom, but then I nannied for an amazing family in college (7 years ago) and they really changed my mind. It has absolutely nothing to do with the kids or amount of stuff that comes along with kids, but the toll kids can take on a relationship. I see it in them still (haven't worked for them in 4 years but still keep in contact) as well as my brother and sister in law, and no matter how much you say "we will still be the same people after kids" you never are. I see how much having kids has changed the relationship between spouses and that is what scares me the most. I want to enjoy my husband, and like him and really appreciate him and our relationship, and I also really think I'm too selfish to have kids of my own.

That said, right now I'm in a relationship and I have no doubt in my mind that I will spend the rest of my life with this man, and for whatever reason I have such a strong desire to share a baby with him. Not anytime soon, but someday. I imagine our life together and it's hard to imagine without a small human on the couch with us. Scares the shit out of me!!!!

I am a nanny with a 3 month old. Honestly it does take some time to adjust and we are still adjusting. For the most part our relationship is great, and I feel a strong connection to him still, but I also carry more resentment. He's decent about helping out, but certain things I find myself doing more often (baths, bottle washing for example). So that is mainly what we argue about now. I wouldn't change it for the world though. Don't let it hold you back. You can always just have one child, it's not too hard.

[Anonymous]

Being a nanny makes me question if I reallyyyy want kids or not. I have not decided. But if I do, I only want 1 or 2. I love being a nanny, but also love giving them back to their parents at the end of the day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I so agree with those saying "No children!".
I used to want 2-3 but now I want none. I feel ashamed to admit this to anyone. Anytime I tell someone, they always say,"You'll feel different about your own children." But I don't think I will.

This job, to me, is rather lonely, boring, and calls for faking so much happiness.
I'm so sad that I feel this way. I want to want children.... perhaps the long winter is just giving me the blues!
Such an interesting topic. I love how open and honest everyone is on this thread

For all those saying you don't want children...do you not want kids at all, ever? Or just not want to have your day job involve taking care of them?

I'm a WOHM knows I would not enjoy having my identity be bound up with being a SAHM or nanny. For me it would be isolating and repetitive, especially because although I love my babies I don't want to rock and shush 24/7 or even 9-5. I do plenty of 2 hour shifts around the clock, including nursing at least 10+ hours a day (WAH for much of their first year of life), but I wouldn't enjoy doing it straight through or not having other activities to think about if that makes sense. The way I see it is that this phase is temporary and I am ok with sharing their care. I think it is overall healthier for me and them not to have someone burn out, which is why I also prefer two PT nannies or PT nanny/preschool once they get to that age. Is it normal to like kids, just not want to be solely responsible for caring for them 24/7? I think it is.

Of course being a parent means being ultimately responsible 24/7 and loving them impossibly and all that. It just seems possible to find some balance between that and exposing them to different caregivers. In other societies kids are still being brought up in large extended family settings, which seems healthier for all. It's only here that we have this ideal of nuclear family/intense mother-child bond to the exclusivity of other relationships.

I feel sorry for your children.

[Anonymous]

It has put me off if anything. My charge is spoilt and whatever I do, he never seems to really connect with me. If by some miracle I do have kids, I hope I avoid MB/DB's parenting. DB is way too strict, MB is far too soft. I can't stand moms who let their kids do what they want but I equally hate overly strict parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It burned me out! I had to quit nannying for a year before trying to have my own. Best decision ever . Being a nanny is so exhausting!!

I worry being a nanny for a bit over a decade has ruined the idea of motherhood for me. How can I maintain enthusiasm for all the little kid stuff I’ve done a million times?

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM now. My experience as a nanny caused me to:

NOT give my children junk food ( I rarely give my toddler goldfish, chicken nuggets, processed foods, juice etc and he eats great and drinks lots of milk. Yesterday we had scallops and plain yogurt and today he had sweet potatoes/egg /kale muffins and tabouli salad.


No screen time for the first 3 years. I met way too many children with speech delays and they watched a ton of tv.


Only a few plastic or electronic toys. Mostly toys made from natural materials.

I have also decided to go back to grad school because I want to change careers. Working with young children and then coming home to young children isn't going to work for me. I am almost positive I will not have any more children. I was a nanny for 7 years and taught Montessori preschool for 3 years before becoming a SAHM. Sometimes I look back at my 20s and wish I would have never spent it as a nanny or preschool teacher.

[Anonymous]

Former Nanny here. Not going to lie with my first nanny job I turned my nose to some of the things that MB wanted me to do with her son. I had to lay next to his crib and wait for him to fall asleep(he was 3y.o) Also after playing outside I had to give him a bath and make sure all the sunscreen/bug spray was completely off BEFORE we went back into his house. Second job this child ate a fruit salad with cinnamon and brown sugar 85% of the time. (I followed MBs menu her rules not mine)

So being a parent now. I co sleep with my son (17 months) and I make sure that he eats a variety of food and tries new things.

[Anonymous]

Being a nanny made me more aware of different styles of parenting, baby gear, approaches to housekeeping and organization, etc. It's been very useful and I'm very thankful I got to see several things I would want to avoid as much as possible (like unlimited screen times, junk food and bad manners) and some things I would want to implement (like a good routine, plenty of outside time, limited toys, good organization, fresh cooking). It's great I got to try many of these things without screwing up my own children, so to speak.

I'm now pregnant with twins (and oh do I wish I had more than a few weeks worth of experience with twins!) and I feel fairly confident that I will know what to do, more or less, once the babies arrive. I know it's often not like that from conversations with my friends who are not in the childcare business, so that's another great asset of nannying.