Perhaps this is not for me any longer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's not really typical. I work part time so I can spend more time with the kids.

If this is important to you, then you should look for it next time you find a family. Find a family where the mom seems engaged or work part time or just need an extra pair of hands because they have 4 kids, etc.

This is me too! I work part-time and I'm racing home at the end of the day to see my little one. My H who works full-time is the same way and if our LO has a bad nap day and has to go to bed on the early side he's always so disappointed not to get some playtime in. Of course if you're looking for a full-time salary you're not going to find families like us unless you combine us into a nanny share or alternate days.

But we are out there, those parents who love our kids and just want someone to help us care for them rather than do our parenting for us. In fact my nanny will be leaving us in the next year to make a career change and we'll be on the hunt for a new nanny at that point.

so you're basically willing to risk your life, and get into an accident just because you love your kids soooo much? So being reckless means you get a pat on the back and possibly a future collision? Then you definitely will be disappointed when you are hospitalized and you can't have time to play with your kid. Stop and think- speeding just to get home is nothing to brag about, it's Ann accident waiting to happen, I wouldn't think you're thinking about your kid if you do this, as there is a huge possibility of an accident. I don't think you would win parent of the year for this. Considering you're admitting to driving recklessly. Way to go mom!

[Anonymous]

I think you just need to find families who are a better match for you. Sounds like you work for wealthy people (maybe you have a very high rate?). We are a full-time working family with a nanny and we go on the ocassional date night, but otherwise are home every evening and all weekend. Most of our friends with nannies are similar. Of course not all nannying jobs are like the one you currently have. Sounds like that particular job isn't a good fit for you, not necessarily the profession in its entirety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's not really typical. I work part time so I can spend more time with the kids.

If this is important to you, then you should look for it next time you find a family. Find a family where the mom seems engaged or work part time or just need an extra pair of hands because they have 4 kids, etc.

This is me too! I work part-time and I'm racing home at the end of the day to see my little one. My H who works full-time is the same way and if our LO has a bad nap day and has to go to bed on the early side he's always so disappointed not to get some playtime in. Of course if you're looking for a full-time salary you're not going to find families like us unless you combine us into a nanny share or alternate days.

But we are out there, those parents who love our kids and just want someone to help us care for them rather than do our parenting for us. In fact my nanny will be leaving us in the next year to make a career change and we'll be on the hunt for a new nanny at that point.

so you're basically willing to risk your life, and get into an accident just because you love your kids soooo much? So being reckless means you get a pat on the back and possibly a future collision? Then you definitely will be disappointed when you are hospitalized and you can't have time to play with your kid. Stop and think- speeding just to get home is nothing to brag about, it's Ann accident waiting to happen, I wouldn't think you're thinking about your kid if you do this, as there is a huge possibility of an accident. I don't think you would win parent of the year for this. Considering you're admitting to driving recklessly. Way to go mom!

Wow, seriously? You took my description of "racing home" and extrapolated that I was speeding recklessly home? I guess I need to be more careful with my English. All I meant is that I move as efficiently out of the door at work as I can and don't make any stops and I'm excited to see my kids the whole way home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, a good nanny takes care of the kids while parents are gone. A great nanny builds connections in a family even when the family is apart. If you think the little boy is missing his parents, why not talk about all the important things that keep them busy?

Not the one you were responding to, but it's kind of hard to constantly have to lie to the kids when you know that it is not work or anything important keeping the parents out and away from the kids. When they decide to go out to lunch with each other, then daddy goes to play golf with a friend (not as a business networking thing, but truly for fun) and mom goes shopping for $500 jeans, goes out for coffee, stops at home to drop off her bags and then leaves again saying she wants to go to a volunteer meeting to save the state/national parks. Then afterwards, they go out to dinner together with friends, stop by some high society event afterwards just to be seen, and get home hours after the kids have gone to bed. Yeah, that was a really important day that they couldn't have decided to skip even ONE of these things to spend an hour alone with their kids...

You just proved the PP's point. It's more important to you to feel holier-than the parents than it is to explore ways to help the child and parent build connections. You aren't prioritizig the child any more than they are.

How do you know that I didn't try finding ways to build connections? Were you there while I was working everyday? Did you see everything that I did? The parents told me to not text or email them about what we were doing, not to send photos. I tried to set up things that the parents could do quickly during a brief break between other plans, have things set up before they got home, so that they could get right into doing a craft or playing a board game or whatever. I offered many things to try and get the parents and kids some time together without it affecting their other plans too much. The parents just didn't care. I have worked for many families that had money and large staff, not all were not involved with their kids. Most actually specifically went out of their way to involve the kids in their busy day. But this one family in particular, they just didn't care to spend time with the kids or hear about what the kids were doing when not with them. I was with the family for 2 years before I finally gave up on trying to "build connections". I moved on to another family that DID want to get texts and photos and would love to have me try and find a few minutes to spend with their kids during a busy and hectic day.

So no, I don't feel holier-than anybody, but sometimes the parents really should just try and step up for their kids a little bit more, especially when someone else is offering to help them get a few brief minutes.