How to part with our nanny?

[Anonymous]

I am seriously considering firing our nanny. I am tired of the attitude and behavior. She is good to my children. She is financially irresponsible and keeps asking to bail her our of situations. I mean not even borrow from us but simply hand her over the money. What are the factors to consider when letting her go? She worked for us for nearly 3 years. How much advanced notice shall we give? how much severance should she be given? We are in MD and she lives in VA. We paid on the books so I am not worried about situations described in this forum that can arise when paying under the table. should we give her a formal letter documenting the reasons for terminating? Also, we never signed a written contract with her. We have a verbal agreement and we both are following that. she is the only nanny we had. When hiring her I had now clue and went with what she proposed and she never brought the contract up. Should I create a document describing how we paid her and all the benefits just for the record? Thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

Is the only reason you want to fire her because age asks you fir money? That's a little weak.

[Anonymous]

PP- Shut the eff up! I'm not OP, just a pissed off nanny that is sick of unprofessional nannies ruining the reputation of good nannies!!! It's unprofessional to ask your boss to bail you out of financial situations. Your employer shouldn't have to know about your private finances. If I was an employer I would not trust my precious children with someone who can't even handle their own money. Nannies buck up! Be professional, do your job well! Be an example to the children you are helping to raise.

[Anonymous]

Settle down 10:37. You are coming across as crazy here. Of course it's unprofessional to ask foroney, but tell a judge that's why you fired someone and they'll wonder why you didn't just say "sorry that won't be possible, but you can try asking a bank for a loan."

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm an MB. Because you never had any written agreement your nanny would be in a very weak position legally if she tried to sue you for anything. I would not try to retroactively create some document that you haven't actually been working under. Since you have paid her "on the books" you presumably have a record of those payments, taxes, etc... in the event you ever had to produce that.

My advice would be to think about whether you want her returning to your home and caring for your children after you have fired her. If I were in your position (and I can easily imagine being there and taking the same action you're considering) I would sever the relationship as cleanly and quickly as possible. I would give her generous severance given her tenure, and because I would want to sleep well knowing that she would be ok financially for some reasonable period of time during which she could find another job. I might choose a month of severance payments if I could afford it.

I would give severance, concurrent with notice and not ask her to come back to work. I would take her keys, change security codes, etc... immediately and make arrangements for her to come back and pick things up or say goodbye to the kids, etc... but I would do that when both you and your SO (if applicable) are there. If you don't have a SO then have another third party adult involved.

I would write a severance letter that states that you are terminating her employment effective today, and the date you're doing it. State that you appreciate her service and in recognition of that are giving her X severance amount, will be happy to provide a reference (assuming you're comfortable doing that), requesting immediate return of all household property (keys etc...) and wishing her all the best. I would not go into detail about the reasons for the termination. SHe, by definition, is an at will employee, and with no agreement governing the terms of severance or notice, you are not breaking any contractual terms. I would take the high road in the conversation and just say something like "we think it's time for a different solution for our family" or "the kids are moving into different stages" or "this is about what's best for us, not a reflection on you" or something generic and non-inflammatory like that.

It will probably be a little hard to be very cut and dried about it but I have learned through handling employment severance in the workplace, that fast and clean is really better for all parties. Give as much severance as you think appropriate and can afford and then just end it quickly for everyone's sake.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

You can fire someone for any reason, including PP's. It is at will employment. Geez!

[Anonymous]

I'd feel so awkward if my nanny asked me for money I don't blame you. I'm passive though I would probably let her go and pretend it was because I wanted to be more hands on or my mom was moving in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can fire someone for any reason, including PP's. It is at will employment. Geez!

+1

LOL to the "tell that to the judge comment"

[Anonymous]

OP, legally you do not have to do anything. If you have a contract/work agreement, you'd follow the steps outlined there but without that, you can simply tell her not to come back one day and be done with it. Nannies are, by law, at-will employees.

However, 11:56 gave great advice on how to handle the process. I think, given that her work performance (with the children) has been great and it's more of a professionalism/boundaries issue that's ending the relationship, that at least 4 weeks severance is appropriate/ethical after a 3 year relationship (I actually negotiate for that much in my first year with a family).

I also agree that her behavior does warrant termination, I do not think it's unreasonable to expect any employee in any job to show a certain level of professionalism and discretion.

[Anonymous]

You should tell her why. I would want to know.

[Anonymous]

Give her two weeks notice. Just say you won't be needing her services anymore. I would not mention her attitude. On her last day, you can give her a letter of recommendation. She doesn't need severance- most people don't get it unless they work for major corporations.

[Anonymous]

You have to seriously consider whether you want her to watch your children and have access to your house once you let her go. If you do not then let her go with at least 2 weeks severance (preferably 3 since she's been with you for 3 years) and a letter of reference if you're comfortable giving one. Otherwise I would give her 3 weeks notice. The key is to keep it short and professional.

[Anonymous]

Two questions -
If she were more responsible with her money, would you still want her to care for your children?

Have you told her that her continually asking for money concerns you?

If the answer is yes to #1 but no to #2, I'd think your first step would be to have a conversation with her about how her financial irresponsibility worries you and makes you feel uncomfortable. You might find out that there's an underlying problem she hasn't mentioned to you, or you might find out that she really just doesn't know how to budget. Either way, for someone who you are otherwise happy with, I think it would be worth the effort.

If the answer is yes to both, then it's probably time to let her go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Settle down 10:37. You are coming across as crazy here. Of course it's unprofessional to ask foroney, but tell a judge that's why you fired someone and they'll wonder why you didn't just say "sorry that won't be possible, but you can try asking a bank for a loan."

There is obviously more to it hence the reason she said "behavior and attitude".. Idiot!

[Anonymous]

OP since you are paying on the book definitely write her a written warning first then if she doesn't improve fire her. She can always try to collect unemployment so it's good to have documentation.