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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm an MB.  Because you never had any written agreement your nanny would be in a very weak position legally if she tried to sue you for anything.  I would not try to retroactively create some document that you haven't actually been working under.  Since you have paid her "on the books" you presumably have a record of those payments, taxes, etc... in the event you ever had to produce that.

My advice would be to think about whether you want her returning to your home and caring for your children after you have fired her.  If I were in your position (and I can easily imagine being there and taking the same action you're considering) I would sever the relationship as cleanly and quickly as possible.  I would give her generous severance given her tenure, and because I would want to sleep well knowing that she would be ok financially for some reasonable period of time during which she could find another job.  I might choose a month of severance payments if I could afford it.

I would give severance, concurrent with notice and not ask her to come back to work.  I would take her keys, change security codes, etc... immediately and make arrangements for her to come back and pick things up or say goodbye to the kids, etc... but I would do that when both you and your SO (if applicable) are there.  If you don't have a SO then have another third party adult involved.

I would write a severance letter that states that you are terminating her employment effective today, and the date you're doing it.  State that you appreciate her service and in recognition of that are giving her X severance amount, will be happy to provide a reference (assuming you're comfortable doing that), requesting immediate return of all household property (keys etc...) and wishing her all the best.  I would not go into detail about the reasons for the termination.  SHe, by definition, is an at will employee, and with no agreement governing the terms of severance or notice, you are not breaking any contractual terms.  I would take the high road in the conversation and just say something like "we think it's time for a different solution for our family" or "the kids are moving into different stages" or "this is about what's best for us, not a reflection on you" or something generic and non-inflammatory like that.

It will probably be a little hard to be very cut and dried about it but I have learned through handling employment severance in the workplace, that fast and clean is really better for all parties.  Give as much severance as you think appropriate and can afford and then just end it quickly for everyone's sake.

Good luck.[/quote]

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